Post # 17
I have the same issues with my Fiance. I bring it up all the time and he says he just isn’t in the mood. Then he has also told me to much sex leads to people cheating because they get bored. I spice it up and get outfits and it works for a little bit then goes back to the way it was. I actually keep a calendar in my phone to see how often I get it. Not once in the past year has it been more than 3 times a month. I don’t know about all of you but this girl needs some loving. I am not about cheating and I want no one else. I enjoy our time together, but I don’t know what to do either. I once seen on a show where a guy had this problem and the wife cheated. Turned out he had some chemical inbalance and that is what was causing it. Of course after she cheated that ended the marriage instead of being patient. I mean it isn’t like he doesn’t want to talk about it, just don’t get the reason I guess.
Post # 18
Being the one that currently has low sex drive (I think because of the pill and breastfeeding- it’s only since our daughter was born) I can tell you it helps a lot if I know I can say no and he won’t get upset or frustrated with me. If he approaches me and I don’t want to and he says “okay” it takes so much pressure off and it actually makes me more likely to want to do it! Obviously I can’t speak for someone else, but I appreciate this about Dear Fiance. I have my own ways of dealing with my low libido so he’s still quite satisfied, but it’s frustrating for both of us that I don’t enjoy it as much as I used to. If I were you I would make a point to tell him that you won’t be upset with him if you approach him and he doesn’t want to- as long as it’s not every time. I know it means a lot to me, it may matter to him too.
Post # 20
It is harder for men to talk about because I think it emasculates them when they have this problem. It has taken over 4 years, and me telling Fiance that it’s making me think i’m doing something wrong, for him to even admit that he needs to sort himself out.
Often I think they say one thing when the reason behind it is something else entirely. Like resentment from something that has happened in the past, performance anxiety that they don’t want to admit to, pressure on them because they know they have an issue and are letting you down.
The thing is, if they don’t want to compromise in some way then whatever the reason is, they are asking you to be the only one to sacrifice.
Post # 21
@ticatica: i totally agree and you’re welcome 🙂
Post # 22
Thanks for this. It is good to hear it from the other side. Personally, I’ve spent 4 years letting him be so I don’t feel i’ve put him under much pressure! I don’t ask for it everyday. We only do it about once a month, when I get the guts to try it on! When I said to him to just tell me if he’s not in the mood, he said that would just be awkward. I wish he were as honest with me as you are with your FI!