(Closed) what would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Say something?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    48 %
    No : (17 votes)
    52 %
    other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1735 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would tell him the child deserves a father.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Is he paying child support? Or is he completely ignoring the situation.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @lovelyday:  “The guy feels he was used (she lied and told him she couldn’t get pregnant becuase it wasn’t her time of the month (to get him to not use a condom)”

    He can feel as used as he wants to, but he was one of two people having sex – if he didn’t demand a condom, he’s just as responsible for an accidental pregnancy (though I do not condone her lying).

    I’d do what the other poster said – sometimes it takes a friend, especially a close one, to point out the obvious.

    Post # 6
    Member
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.

    I agree, especially if the mom is nutso this kid deserves a sane and caring dad.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I don’t know how you could go about bringing it up to him, but for me it boils down to the fact that I know many people who regret not stepping up and being there for their child. I don’t know *anyone* who regrets being there.

    She doesn’t really have the right to raise the baby independently if he wants to be involved, and after he calms down a bit over his anger toward her, he might need some support in finding ways to go about getting access to his son. Hopefully he’ll make the right decision about being involved for his child, regardless of his feelings toward the mother.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Regardless of what HE should do, what YOU need to do is stay out of it. Not. Your. Business. Repeat as needed.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @mightywombat:  I don’t agree with staying out of it.  Too often there are situations where people just mind their own business, or stay out of it, or ignore it……when there’s nothing wrong with standing up for what’s right and helping a friend in need.  If your friend was doing drugs or doing something illegal, would you just stay out of it? 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Just because he’s good with kids doesn’t mean he wants one, or wants to be involved with this one.  He already made it clear “once the kid was born, he wants nothing to do with it.”  You’re opening a HUGE can of worms, and it’s not your life that will be directly affected.  If he wanted to know, he’d snoop on the internet himself.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @lovelyday:  Finding a creative way to “allow” him to find out doesn’t absolve you of the act of making this known.  He may already know, he may already have snooped online or knows based on the dates.  He’d pursue this more if he truly wanted to.  He has the option of taking her to court if she’s ignoring him and he really, really wanted to be involved.

    The topic ‘what would you do?’ is closed to new replies.

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