(Closed) What would you do

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would serve alcohol but only do 3/2 beer and champagne/light wines. Not like I’m dealing with this or something… 😉

Post # 4
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

Yikes, that’s tough. I think there will always be a few people who can’t seem to control themselves with alcohol. Can you warn the bartenders in advance and tell them to be very strict about cutting people off who seem like they’ve had a few too many? Or maybe assign the bridal party the responsiblity of keeping an eye on the ones who drink too much?

I’m not too bothered by ridiculous drunks, so I would vote for having alcohol and letting the chips fall where they may. But, I’ve never met your alcoholic relatives, so it’s kinda hard to say. 

On the other hand, you would save a lot of money by not serving alcohol. 

Post # 6
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sure I might catch heat for this answer, but I will suggest the “limited” version you mention…only provide a certain amount.  One signature cocktail per guest is good, or a monetary limit on the bar, then either close it or have them pay cash after the limit is reached.  If they are real hardcore drinkers though, they may pad their pockets for a party.  It does seem unfair that you either have to “punish” some people (including yourself) or babysit these relatives.  If it were to come to that, are there any other relatives or friends that could help you out?  That’s a lot to ask, I realize, but maybe it could give you peace of mind on your big day.  Also, you have to think about what YOU want, if going “dry” would be undesirable or just unfortunate.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

What do you think about just serving beer & wine? You can also limit when the bar is open: closed during dinner, last call an hour or half hour before the reception ends, etc.

Talk to the bartenders, too- it’s their responsibility to cut people off, and it takes the pressure off of you. They could serve slightly smaller pours, etc.

Post # 8
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I second the poster who mentioned sticking with beer and wine and having the bartenders keep an eye out.

I LOVE wine, so I have always been pro-alcohol at pretty much any gathering, especially weddings. But my wedding sort of changed my opinion on the necessity of it.

I was nervous and (to be totally honest) slightly burnt out from the wine at the rehearsal dinner the night before, so I had a glass of champagne and then Diet Coke for the rest of the night. For the most part, I am SO happy I did, because I remember everything perfectly from the best day of my life, but everybody else indulged a bit too much.

Luckily, everyone in my family is a “happy” drunk but I had (1) one Bridesmaid or Best Man start bawling in the middle of the reception and wanting to have a super serious, meaningful, 30 minute conversation about how much we care about each other (2) a friend who came up to hug me and say goodbye at least 7 times (3) a stepmom who would walk up to me anytime I was dancing with other people and drag me away to dance with her (4) a mom who was bound and determined to walk her drunk self alone down the dark street 1/2 mile to the hotel before I recruited someone to accompany her (5) an aunt who I swear to God I thought was going to try to make out with my new husband. And more!

While there was no harm done and I am glad everyone had a good time, as the bride, you bear the brunt of people being too drunk – if they are emotional, they are emotional about you and you need to be sensitive to it, if they are irresponsible, it’s your job to make sure they are taken care of.

While I am still in favor of drinks at social events, I will never judge a bride about the decision to go dry.

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