(Closed) What would you do?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What would you do (assuming that she is a close friend)?
    Insist that if she is in your wedding, she must shave her armpits and legs. : (18 votes)
    18 %
    Gently ask her if she would be willing to shave. : (38 votes)
    37 %
    Have someone else do the dirty work, like your MOH or another BM. : (18 votes)
    18 %
    Respect the choice she makes to not shave, and just suck it up at the wedding. : (24 votes)
    24 %
    Other : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1853 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Oh boy….. totally depends on whether she’s neglecting to shave based on laziness or on principle. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    One of my bridesmaids has this issue as well.  But because my other friends and I have never kept it a secret  that we dont like it, I will def be checking her underarms at the rehearsal.  I dont mind the legs but the underarm hair must be handled.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3831 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    THIS is not attractive. I would make her shave. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    If this is what you care about on your wedding day, then you’re doing it wrong.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I agree with @Taeyers: If she’s not shaving because she’s just lazy and forgets, then sure, be like, “hey, totally excited for Saturday! Bee-tee-dubs, I’ve got a Venus Embrace you can use.” Or better yet, just include it in her BM gift.

    If she doesn’t shave because that’s her thing, then….well, you knew that going in to the situation – that falls under asking a BM to cover a tattoo or get contacts for a day – it’s part of her, and if you don’t love her with the hair/tattoo/glasses, then she’s probably not close enough to be a BM.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think I would approach her and frame it as, “I don’t want to ask you to do anything you’re really opposed to doing, and so if you say ‘no’ it will be fine, but if you don’t have strong feelings either way, I would really appreciate it if you could shave your underarms.” (And I would mean it – it really would be fine either way, but if she’d be willing to indulge my preferences for the day I’d be grateful.)

    And a bridesmaid who picked out a strapless dress (as one of mine has) would (will) be getting a pashmina as a gift, to cover their shoulders for the ceremony in our relatively conservative church, and so if the person responded, “I actually have a big problem bowing to the patriarchal hegemonic whatever whatever and I’d prefer not to shave,” it would be fine.

    Post # 10
    Member
    11239 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @StL.Ashley:  This was my thinking, too. If you are close enough to someone that you would ask them to be in your wedding, something like this shouldn’t be a surprise, and it’s something that you should take into consideration before asking.

    Also, yeah, is she not shaving because she’s lazy or has really sensitive skin? Or doing it on principle? 

    Post # 11
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Why wouldn’t you pick a dress with sleeves or a little jacket if you knew one of your bridesmaids doesn’t shave and you didn’t want it on display? It seems to me the dress choice is the problem, so I don’t think it would be right to ask her to shave if that is part of who she is.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I voted other because if I chose someone who didn’t wanna shave their armpits…I’d have put them in a dress w/sleeves.  I mean, that to me…at least is what makes sense.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    2147 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Oh my god. I can’t imagine knowing someone who doesn’t shave…whether it’s their armpits or their legs! Yikes…..and holy ew. I don’t agree that if you want them to shave/change something about themselves, then you must not love them enough. I love all of my friends dearly, but no way in hell would someone be in my bridal party with a hairy situation. While I wouldn’t ask (but I’d hope), my friends who wear glasses normally always wear contacts for formal occasions…there’s a time and a place, and a wedding isn’t the time or place for hair everywhere.

    Post # 14
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @WhatMaeBee: Wow, I don’t know anyone who has as much interest in others’ shaving habits as you seem to. That’s interesting. I’m glad you don’t know anyone who chooses not to shave, too.

    Are you seriously going to ask your friends to wear contacts? Am I reading that right?

    Letter-writer who wrote to Prudie is a crappy friend who thinks of her bridesmaids as props, not people. I don’t understand how anyone thinks that getting married gives you license to dicate your friends’ very personal choices.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Omg just get a bolero and move on. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you know this person well enough to invote her to be a BM, why did you pick that dress? seriously that is just poor planning on the writer’s part!

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