Post # 1
*This is PURELY hypothetical, I’m just curious what you gals would do.
Say you are dating a guy for at least 6-12 months. This is an established relationship.
You then find out, through the grapevine, that a female “friend” of your SO’s (could even be someone you know, too!) is trying to convince him to break up with you. Subtly, or not-so-subtly.
What would YOU do?
ETA: reasons being given could be but are not limited to:
-“She just doesnt seem RIGHT for you.”
-“I don’t like her”
-“I think you can do better”
-“You just seem DIFFERENT now that you’re with her.”
Post # 3
Find out why. Then tell that person to take a long walk off a short pier.
Post # 4
That would depend on how my SO responded, how I found out, what her issue with me was…it’s hard to say with it being so vague.
Post # 5
I would talk to him about it and see what he says. If he’s like ‘don’t worry about, she’s crazy’ then I wouldn’t worry about it. If he said something like ‘Yeah, she says it all the time and it gets on my nerves’ then I would confront her and tell her to cut the shizz out or I’ll make her stop.
Post # 6
@Wonderstruck: Dually noted: updated with examples 😉
Post # 7
@badabing88: I would ask my SO about it and see what he says.
If he acknowledges its true, I’d tell him he needs to pick – me or her. I’m not dealing with an SO who has a “friend” trying to actively sabotage our relationship.
If he denies it, well, I guess it would depend on how much I trusted him. If I think he’s telling the truth and I’ve just heard exaggerated gossip, I’d just proceed with caution. If I think he’s lying, probably time to exit stage left.
Post # 8
First of all, I’d be 100% sure that this was really happening. If it was, I’d take her out for drinks and talk to her. Sometimes, it’s a simple misunderstanding. Something to the effect of ‘She made him change so much – he cut his hair, started dressing differently, she must be so controlling’, when in fact, he got a new job which required him to dress professionally and no longer have hair like a viking. These can be resolved easily. If it turns out that she’s just wanting to break you up for kicks, then she can take that nice, long walk down a short pier. And I’d tell her that directly.
Post # 9
@badabing88: Nothing…he’s a big boy and can make decisions for himself, his female friend and her concerns are something the two of them can deal with, I have no time for such nonsense.
Post # 10
I think it depends a lot on the dynamic of the friendship. I have a lot of guy friends that I am not the slightest bit interested in romantically. I do, however, have their best interest at heart. I guess I don’t see why we’d get more upset about it being a female friend than a male friend giving the advice.
Regardless of gender, I guess I’d really want to know why they’d say that about me. Is it a wrong impression? Did I offend them somehow? If it’s a close friend of his, I’d want to see if I could repair the damage.
That all being said, if it WAS a female friend of his that was just trying to poach him from me, I’d be livid 😉
Post # 11
I’m the jealous type. So, frankly I’d start being around any time she happens to be around. I’m sure she would not have the balls to say it to my face, as most of these types operate that way. Any SO i’d have would have to be smart enough not to listen crap like that anyway, but you never know.. especially when it’s been only a year. If this SO told me about it, I’d probably bring it up at dinner… like “So, so and so tells me you don’t think I’m right for so and so”… and watch her squirm.
Post # 13
@HappySky7: THAT is more my style 😉 I’m really impressed by how cool and collected alot of Bees are: I cannot promise I wouldnt yank a weave out 😉
Post # 14
@badabing88: I’d do nothing. If he chooses to listen to his friend, then I don’t want him anyway!
Post # 15
Really? You wouldnt say a single *word* even if you knew this person was saying these things about you to your man? What if you had to interact with her with this knowledge in mind? You’d just treat her like anyone else? Not even a little snarky comment?
Post # 16
@oracle: I need to start taking lessons from YOU gals, I’m waaaaay too vindictive sometimes.