(Closed) What would you do about this Bridesmaid?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

hmm- you dont need that… is she a close enough friend to keep in the wedding- or could you manage without her?

Post # 4
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Ok, you’re probably not going to like my response but here it goes…Honestly, I think you overreacted a little bit,that’s a strong text message response…Your text was pretty harshly worded and her response was what I would expect from a text like that…I think it would’ve been better to just reply with the seamstress’ number if you were going to get that upset about it, especially since it’s so close to your wedding….But now that the damage has been done, it’s up to you whether it’s worth being upset with one of your bridesmaids at your wedding…If it’s not, then I would just apologize, explain that you truly were super busy and didn’t have time to respond until when you did and leave it at that…If you don’t care about being upset with her for your wedding, then just maybe not comunicate with her for a few days and see if you cool off…Sorry this happened tho!

Post # 5
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

ditch her. seriously. i can’t imagine speaking to my worst enemy like that!

Post # 6
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think I’d face plant her, honestly. Just take my palm, place it on the back of her head, and push…..

Okay, maybe not. But wow.

I don’t think so!

Post # 7
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with rungurl, sometimes we just need to pick our battles. Honestly her first text, although annoying, didn’t really deserve the lash out. Keep in mind her text was asking for a number that she needed for your wedding. I would of just thought to myself “someones moody today” and just sent the number of the seamstress.

Now though because of what she said back things are totaly awkward, and if I were you I might consider asking her to step down because you don’t want that tension to be there on your wedding day.

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

She was rude and you were rude right back

So uh, 2 wrongs don’t make a right

I have to say though…you don’t check your phone ALL DAY? Even on lunch or if you’re in the bathroom? What if you missed a super duper important call from the seamstress herself or someone?

You sound very resentful that she doesn’t work a job like you do and that she “has money”. I’m not sure that that has anything to do with her behavior…is it possible you were already wound tight and then just kinda blew up???

Post # 9
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

WOW!  She’s supposed to be your friend?  Has she always been like this to you? I can’t believe she threated to not do your makeup… I don’t know if I’d want someone like that to support me on my wedding day.  I also agree with everyone else… pick your battles.  Is this something you really want to fight about a week before your wedding? 

Post # 10
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m going to have to agree with EJS/runrgirl/Annie.  If I were you, I would call her and nicely explain that you are busy all day long at work and don’t really have time to check your phone.  Some people don’t understand what others’ jobs are like.  For example, my mom thinks that because I sit at a desk, I can always talk to her on the phone if she calls.  Not really, because I sit in a cube near a billion other people and everyone can hear if I’m on a personal call.

So I would just give her the benefit of the doubt, call her and straighten things out.  Sounds like she has a little bit of a difficult personality but she’s in your wedding, doing your makeup, etc. and that’s that.

Post # 12
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

yeah, I’m with runrgurl too – she was out of line, but you seem to have overreacted just a smidge. I have friends who are like that with their mobiles, and they never seem to understand that not everyone is (i.e. I had one friend who could NOT understand for the life of her that some people actually turn their mobiles off when they’re at work/in the office and would regularly ask why I took so long to call her back).

I’d apologize, if I were you, and make nice. Why lose a friend this close to the wedding?

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

For some reason I read that as an “am” post….haha, 3 hours without a response and I would just assume somebody was busy!

She sounds extra paranoid bout everyone talking about her. Eesh.

I think I’d make nice too (excessive drama before the wedding is bad) and move on afterwards, maybe start pulling back a little or telling her more often when she’s acting ridiculous. Just tell her, “you’re bieng ridiculous!”

Post # 14
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am also with rungurl and Annie on this one also. She was just asking for a phone number and tried to not bother you as many people just assume a bride who also works must be super busy!  I’d assume that too.

I have friends like this too w/their phones and it’s just who they are.  Doesn’t make me like them less and with my job if somebody texts me and I can’t get right back to them, they have to get over it (I’m usually with a patient).  She is also offering to do your makeup too (free) and is paying for her dress and was trying to pull all that together for you so do cut her a teeny bit of slack.

I think you two can work this out! 

Post # 15
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I think both of your heads got hot! But since you can only be responsible for your own behavior and not hers, I would call and apologize and just explain why you couldn’t respond earlier, and let it go at that. It’s small in the scheme of things and not worth losing a friend over.

Post # 16
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I agree with previous posters – a week before your wedding you need to have as little drama as possible. It seems like things were said in the heat of the moment, and once there has been time to cool down, you may both be regretting what was said. Is this really worth losing a friend over?

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