(Closed) What would you do bees? Advice please.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Can your sister sell some of her stuff to make up the cash? Can she work out some kind of installment plan with the storage place and pick up a job now that she’s back?

Post # 5
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, I don’t think you’re in a position to help her.  It sucks either way, but you don’t have the financial stability to give her money.  What if, God forbid, your husband loses his job, you’re in credit card debt, and have no where else really to turn?  It sounds to me like you know you can’t help but are afraid to tell her that.  Be honest with her, and explain that because of your finances, you aren’t able to pay off her bill.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Cash000: Ugh I don’t know what to tell you. I get it. She’s your sister and you want to help. But on the other hand, she made her bed and she has to lay in it. Does she do this kind of stuff a lot, or is this a one off? Is there stuff in that unit that she can’t live without?

Post # 7
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I really don’t think you should compromise your own family’s financial security by giving her money you don’t have. It’s unfortunate, but sometimes you just don’t have it. Also, your husband should be involved in your decision and have full veto power, since it sounds like this money would come from your joint account.

Post # 8
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Cash000: I wouldn’t put the amount of the bill on credit (or straight up loan her the money for that matter) unless I was willing to lose it.  Unless this is a one off situation unfortunately, it seems your sister may have a problem with paying back what’s owed in general, and I really don’t like the potential for bitterness than loaning money to family can cause.

If you do decide to loan her the money, I would handle it as a business transaction, and write up a signed contract with very specific repayment terms, so there’s no misunderstandings.

Post # 9
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Can she just get the stuff? Or is the idea that they’re going to auction it off to pay off what she owes?

Post # 10
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@DeathByDesign: Usually if rent goes unpaid for a period that it gets to this point they lock it up so you can’t just get your stuff and skip out on the bill.  The idea is that they own the items to recoup the loss of rent.

Post # 11
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t know what I would do, but I feel like you shouldn’t help just because you don’t really have the money too….what if she never pays you back? What if after you bail her out you have an emergency and need to use your credit card? If it seemed like you had the money I would say, yeah help her out. But you don’t want to screw yourselves over either.

Post # 12
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it depends on how much the stuff is worth and how much she still owes for the rental unit. Like if she owes $300 and the stuff in storage is going to cost her $10k to replace then yeah, I would help (provided she is offering to pay you back). On the other hand if it’s all junk and she owes a thousand then I would not offer to help her out. 

I agree with PPs, if this is a pattern with her then no, I would not help out. If it’s a one time mistake and she is offering to re-pay you as soon as she has then money then I don’t see why not (but your husband should be on board too).

Post # 14
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@Ms. Martian: I tend to agree with you – if she just owes a couple hundred and would lose a lot of valuable stuff, I’d try to help – but she’d have to agree to pay you back within a short time period. 

But if this isn’t the first time she’s put herself in money troubles, maybe she needs to learn a painful (and costly) lesson. 

Whatever you do, make sure you aren’t putting your family in financial distress.

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