Post # 1
First let me start off by saying that majority of my family are awesome people. We have college graduates, my mommy has a 2 masters and a PHD….
Sadly I have one cousin that never really has gotten herself together. She always blames her problems on others (her dad was never around, her mom worked too much…ect). She has 3 kids, by three differnt men. I have ALWAYS been there for her and her kids. I had my son when i was 19, and i dont know what i would do if i didnt have my family there to support me.
I get a phone call a few days ago that my cousin was once again evicted and needed somewhere to stay, my whole family has washed thier hands of her…except me. So i tell her to bring her kids over and stay with us for a while. Well, this weekend we had DS birthday party and a bunch of wedding things to do so she was in our home ALOT of the time alone.
Today i get an email saying that i had several checks that bounced….checks that i didnt write! First of all I STALK my bank account, we are paying for our wedding on our own so we buget every single penny. I FREAK OUT, call Chase to try and figure out what is going on! The checks are not even in my writing…further more they are all for stores like babies R us, walmart, places where i dont really shop at. AND I NEVER WRITE CHECKS!!! so Fiance and i are trying to figure out what is going on…meanwhile im calling and calling my cousin to see if she can find my checks books in the house…she is not answering.
Finally she sends me a text and it says “I’m sorry…please dont be mad, and please dont call the police”
This girl knows i would do anything…ANYTHING for her and those kids! She worte $750 in checks…my account is negavtive right now!!! and i cant get my money back unless i file a police report against her!
So, im stuck, if i call the police she goes to jail, loses her kids…who else knows what could happen…but if i dont…im out ALOT OF MONEY. Help me bees…PLEASE…what do i do??? What would you do?
Post # 3
i would make her work to get that money back. To do what ever it is she needs to do to come up with it. and i know it is not right to threaten people but in this case i would let her know what is going to happen to her if she does not get that money to you. And if i were you i would not welcome your home or your belongings to her ever again. Stealing is not right no matter what!
Post # 4
wow! first of all, i’m sorry that happened to you. second, that just sucks! i feel for her, she seems like she is having a rough time…BUT she stole from someone who took her in and has obviously treated her well. i would tell her that she needs to return the merchandise she purchased and return YOUR money or you will file a police report. hopefully you will get the $ back and not have to file a report.
Post # 5
sometimes people need to have real consequences to their actions before they wake up.
Post # 6
thank you bees…i def DO NOT want to file a police report. However, i am so upset with her for not just coming to us and asking. I dont even know what she bought with $700!! to make matters worse, she left today…and is not answering her phone. im going to text her and say that i will not file, but she needs to work the money off/pay me my money back!
Post # 7
actions have consequences and it’s time for this woman to receive some tough love. i think you know what you need to do. i mean c’mon, she’s not returning your phone calls, do you think it’s because she’s too busy getting your money back for you?
Post # 8
You need to call the police. You don;t know what else she has stolen from you and if she’ll steal from the one person that is willing to help her, she’s not going to pay you back. For all you know she’ll stolen things and pawned then and you haven’t noticed. She needs to know that choices have consiquences. You can’t take care of her forever and she NEEDS to learn to do i themselves.
Post # 9
WHAT?? Wow! She is obviously not getting how much you are helping her out. I personally think she needs a wake up call. Call the police. It is hard but she can’t keep taking advantage of people. I am sorry you are going through this.
Post # 10
I couldn’t agree more!
She’ll continue to do things like this unless she learns that her actions have consequences!
Post # 11
Agreed. This sucks, but I would turn her in in a heartbeat. It would be different if you’re entire family hadn’t been putting up with her crap for years already or if you actually had the money, but her cleaning out your bank account is not cool. At all. Just my opinion.
Although I can’t believe your bank won’t work with you. Have you tried everything you can with them in the mean time? I can’t imagine that they would only help people who’s debit cards have been stolen, but not their checkbooks.
Post # 12
Do you have the money to get your account out of the negative? They will keep charging you fees if you keep it negative (or at least, most banks will). I am a little surprised that you can’t get your money back without filing a police report against HER. What if your check book had just been stolen by someone random?
Personally, I would file the police report. I agree with PPs that people like this are used to getting bailed out and not having to face hard consequences. I am furious on your behalf right now.
Post # 13
CALL THE POLICE!!! She stole from you…thats your money…it doesn’t matter if its $5.00 or $5,000…Thats your money that you worked for, and its going to cost you even more money to get everything straightened out…
Post # 14
I say file the police report. My SIL had issues like this with her sister, and it took a decent amount of time in jail to get her shit together. In some instances, you just need to let the law take care of people otherwise you’re just enabling them.
Post # 15
I’m sure this will sound insensitive since there are children involved but if it were me, a police report would be filed. Her kids are not your responsibility. If she doesn’t pay for what she did, she will never learn. I’ve known people like her and until they have to face the consequences of their actions, they never get their shit together. It’s definitely unfortunate that you are in this situation but you have to protect yourself and your family. If you want to give her the opportunity to repay you herself then go for it but from the sounds of it, unless you press charges, you may never see that money ever again. Furthermore, I think your cousin is deplorable. To steal from someone who takes you in after you’ve been evicted (more than once? Wow!) is a real scum bag move. It would be one thing if it was a few bucks to buy diapers or whatever but $750 is a shopping spree on your dime.
Post # 16
Sometimes showing your love for somebody takes the form of tough love. The best thing you could do for her is make her face the consequences of her actions. Its a small enough amount that I do not think she’d face hard jail time or losing her children… She would likely face probation and paying restitution. However, if she continues to get away with smaller things like this I’m worried she’ll escalate to larger things and REALLY lose her kids.