(Closed) What would you do (family member stole from me)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would make her work to get that money back. To do what ever it is she needs to do to come up with it. and i know it is not right to threaten people but in this case i would let her know what is going to happen to her if she does not get that money to you. And if i were you i would not welcome your home or your belongings to her ever again. Stealing is not right no matter what!

Post # 4
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

wow! first of all, i’m sorry that happened to you. second, that just sucks! i feel for her, she seems like she is having a rough time…BUT she stole from someone who took her in and has obviously treated her well. i would tell her that she needs to return the merchandise she purchased and return YOUR money or you will file a police report. hopefully you will get the $ back and not have to file a report.

Post # 5
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sometimes people need to have real consequences to their actions before they wake up.


Post # 7
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@julies1949: 100004304680347638972344296845763498% agree.

actions have consequences and it’s time for this woman to receive some tough love. i think you know what you need to do. i mean c’mon, she’s not returning your phone calls, do you think it’s because she’s too busy getting your money back for you?

Post # 8
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You need to call the police. You don;t know what else she has stolen from you and if she’ll steal from the one person that is willing to help her, she’s not going to pay you back. For all you know she’ll stolen things and pawned then and you haven’t noticed. She needs to know that choices have consiquences. You can’t take care of her forever and she NEEDS to learn to do i themselves.

Post # 9
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

WHAT??  Wow!  She is obviously not getting how much you are helping her out.  I personally think she needs a wake up call.  Call the police.  It is hard but she can’t keep taking advantage of people.  I am sorry you are going through this.

Post # 10
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@julies1949:I couldn’t agree more!

She’ll continue to do things like this unless she learns that her actions have consequences!

Post # 11
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@julies1949: Agreed. This sucks, but I would turn her in in a heartbeat. It would be different if you’re entire family hadn’t been putting up with her crap for years already or if you actually had the money, but her cleaning out your bank account is not cool. At all. Just my opinion.

Although I can’t believe your bank won’t work with you. Have you tried everything you can with them in the mean time? I can’t imagine that they would only help people who’s debit cards have been stolen, but not their checkbooks. 

Post # 12
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you have the money to get your account out of the negative?  They will keep charging you fees if you keep it negative (or at least, most banks will).  I am a little surprised that you can’t get your money back without filing a police report against HER. What if your check book had just been stolen by someone random?

Personally, I would file the police report.  I agree with PPs that people like this are used to getting bailed out and not having to face hard consequences.  I am furious on your behalf right now.

Post # 13
1614 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

CALL THE POLICE!!! She stole from you…thats your money…it doesn’t matter if its $5.00 or $5,000…Thats your money that you worked for, and its going to cost you even more money to get everything straightened out…

Post # 14
3261 posts
Sugar bee

I say file the police report. My SIL had issues like this with her sister, and it took a decent amount of time in jail to get her shit together. In some instances, you just need to let the law take care of people otherwise you’re just enabling them. 

Post # 15
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sure this will sound insensitive since there are children involved but if it were me, a police report would be filed. Her kids are not your responsibility. If she doesn’t pay for what she did, she will never learn. I’ve known people like her and until they have to face the consequences of their actions, they never get their shit together. It’s definitely unfortunate that you are in this situation but you have to protect yourself and your family. If you want to give her the opportunity to repay you herself then go for it but from the sounds of it, unless you press charges, you may never see that money ever again. Furthermore, I think your cousin is deplorable. To steal from someone who takes you in after you’ve been evicted (more than once? Wow!) is a real scum bag move. It would be one thing if it was a few bucks to buy diapers or whatever but $750 is a shopping spree on your dime. 

Post # 16
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Sometimes showing your love for somebody takes the form of tough love. The best thing you could do for her is make her face the consequences of her actions. Its a small enough amount that I do not think she’d face hard jail time or losing her children… She would likely face probation and paying restitution. However, if she continues to get away with smaller things like this I’m worried she’ll escalate to larger things and REALLY lose her kids.

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