(Closed) What would you do (family member stole from me)

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 87
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Reading your post about your cousin stealing your checkbook and writing $750 in checks brought back memories. My brother took advantage of me when I opened my home to him for 8 months. For half of the time he didn’t pay rent, an amount we agreed on plus he stole $ from me. When I finally confronted him I asked him why he took advantage of me, he said “You were to nice”? WTF? Never in my wildest dreams did I think flesh and blood could do this but it happened. Our reltionship has been strained because of this.

If you’ve been a victim of theft from a stranger, it hurts. When it’s a family member it hurts deeper. You’ve opened your home and your heart to your cousin and she took advantage of your goodness. She obviously was searching for something of value to steal and she wasn’t thinking about how good you were to her, she only thought of her needs which is a selfish act. I understand your concern for the children and hopefully a family member can care for them. She should be responsible for her actions. What is that teaching her children if she’s not held accountable? I hope you do file a police report on her and she gets a wake up call.

Please keep us up to date. God bless.

Post # 88
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

you have done the right thing and are very brave! This is the best thing you could have done for the kids.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

maybe this is me just being praniod but your Ering/wedding rings/jewlery..you’re wearing them right? They’re not missing??

Post # 89
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@MrsStrawberry24:

ETA: Glad you went ahead and filed the police report.  It really hurts to be taken advantage of by your own family.

Post # 90
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@PasteMoo: are you talking about after her cousin STOLE from her or in a hypothetical situation where her cousin hadn’t COMPLETELY violated her trust and privacy by going on a shopping spree on her dime? why not pose it as this, it’d be more apt: would you have spent $750 on her for a shopping spree around town? If yes — find a way for her to work it off or pay you back with interest. If not, file the police report. the latter is being done as we type, so it’s really moot.

Post # 91
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@elliestan:Um, I don’t understand.

I was being hypothetical. Obviously the OP would not bail someone out of jail that she put there!

Post # 92
Member
1457 posts
Bumble bee

Ugg *hug* to you.  I’m sorry you have to go through this!  I pray that God teaches her a lesson through all this, or if nothing else that her children don’t have to pay for her mistakes. 

Post # 93
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

How heartbreaking! I think I’d probably call the police. 🙁 It sucks but I’m glad that’s what you’re going with. How awful! 

Post # 94
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

So glad you pressed charges…

I wonder WTH she bought at walmart for $700?!?!? A flat screen??

Post # 95
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@PasteMoo: obviously, and i was pointing out that the comparision was severely flawed. asking if she would she bail her out for being incarcerated (presumably for another reason which begs, in this hypothetical situation was she rightly imprisoned?) is not and should not be a benchmark as to whether she should have let her cousin get away with draining her checking account.

Post # 96
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m glad you pressed charges, sometimes people need a wake up call.

Post # 97
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wait a freaking minute.  That trick went to Walmart and spent all that money and then came home and stole your tampons?  She couldn’t get her own while she was there?  WTH!!  I think you made the right decision.  I know it was hard but if someone doesn’t make her understand that in life there are consequences for your actions, she will continue to do stuff like this.  We would both be in jail right now, her for writing those checks and me for whooping that ass.

 

You might want to sign up for one of those credit alert things for a few months just in case she got ahold of your social and try to open accounts in your name and also check your credit to see if there were an inquiries made were she tried to open accounts.  You just never know.

 

Why the hell weren’t these places checking her ID with her using a check.  That pisses me off when I use my card the clearly says on the back “Ask for Id” and they don’t.

My Fiance is kinda going through the same thing.  His exwife open credit card accounts in his name after they were divorced now its on his credit report and after researching it he realized it was her.  Now, they are telling him the only way to get the stuff off his report is to file charges agaisnt her.

Sorry you’re having to deal with this.  It really sucks 

Post # 98
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I havent read thru everything… but file a police report.  she’s not going to learn without consequences… plus her kids are going to grow up being ok with this lifestyle (maybe not but most kids raised in a bad environment follow the same habits, not all, bit most). a theft Felony is only if its $1k or more, in oregon at least. sorry for my horrible punctuation, im using my phone. so sorry you’re going thru this!  o

Post # 99
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had a very close friend who did that to me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to prove it was him because he used my information on-line to do it. I probably would have just forgiven him, like I always did, but Fiance went nuts at him, and everyone we knew started shunning him. He finally got his act together, but he needed some tough love first. Your cousin needs the same thing, no matter how you do it. She needs to know that what she did was NOT ok, and she can NEVER do that again. She needs to be responsible for her own life and her kids’.

Post # 100
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Please give us an update! I was thinking about this situation this morning.

Post # 101
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Dang, what a crummy situation!

Im glad you decided to press charges. It is a shame for her kids, but hopefully she will learn a lesson and become a better person for herself and her kids in the future.
Good luck with everything.

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