(Closed) What would you do (family member stole from me)

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 117
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@MrsStrawberry24: you never know, i bet you didn’t think she’d steal like $1200 from you, either! even if the drugs were the guy’s, it is unbelievably irresponsible to bring those kids into that situation (on top of everything else!!!!). i mean it seriously takes the cake. foster care will hopefully be temporary, but what you did might have been a real changing point in their lives for the better.

Post # 118
Member
1047 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Wow. Good for you and you CERTAINLY did the right thing. Please don’t feel at all guilty for it. The kids will be reunited with your aunt in no time I’m sure, and this will hopefully be the lesson your cousin needs.

Post # 119
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@MrsStrawberry24: I worry that her kids are seeing this and learning that you can get away with this.  Perhaps she needs this lesson for herself AND for her kids to see…

Post # 120
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

you need to report her to the police…you will never get your money back and your credit will be negatively impacted. If you get a police report you can get the bank to fix it!

Post # 121
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

That is so insane. I cannot imagine going through this. And…I know it is hard to believe, but you didn’t think she would steal your check book, say sorry, then write more checks either. I know I don’t know her, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the drugs were hers… 

I feel soooo bad for you. What an awful situation 🙁 But I’m really glad you filed a report, and I hope you get every dime back!!

Post # 122
Member
10282 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

What an insane situation! You did absolutely nothing wrong. You are the victim. This was obviously much bigger than just your stolen checks. She’s stolen credit cards, too! Your cousin is a criminal and needs to be prosecuted. You did her children a favor. What’s worse? A few nights in a (presumably) safe foster home or spending some more quality time with criminals and probable drug addicts. If your family is as caring as you seem to be, there shouldn’t be any issues getting the kids.

Post # 123
Member
9814 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m so sorry. I know this is heartbreaking but you did do the right thing. She’s in jail, yes, but it’s probably safer than being with a stranger in a hotel who is subjecting her to drugs and who knows what else. The kids are safe and being taken care of. They have a safe place to sleep and a good meal. It’s just temporary.

Bad decisions have consequences. As a mother, this is just so sad.

Post # 124
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

But did you get your tampons back?

Post # 126
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just think, if you hadn’t filed your report with the police, the kids might still be in some shady hotel with a strange man and drug use going on around them.

You really did the right thing, for yourself and for the kids. It’s going to be really hard right now but in the long run, it’s for the best.

She clearly has serious issues if she knew you discovered she wrote those checks and then she wrote more! It’s insane behavior. Those poor kids probably saw things no kids should see and they will be 100X better off because of this.

Hang in there, it’s never easy to go through this type of situation but at least the kids have a family member they can go to.

Post # 127
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Awww wow :(. This is NOT your fault!! If you hadn’t let her stay with you, she probably would’ve put her kids in a much much worse situation. Her poor kids should not get to stay with a mom that isn’t protecting them, PLUS she was stealing… probably other things too but I don’t want to assume. I think its a very good thing her kids got taken away from her, maybe she will get the help she needs & actually be a good mom at the end. Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they change… sounds like she has no family & no friends & her kids just got taken away. Maybe this is a breaking point. 

Plus, 1 day in foster care isn’t bad. They are in a safe home & its probably better than being in a hotel room with drugs & random guys they don’t know.

Post # 128
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

There are reasons for a whole family to wash their hands of someone. I wonder if she’s stolen from other family members and if so, did they file police reports.

She has three children so there must be at least one father somewhere. Perhaps he(they?) will get custody.

If not the father(s) it’s likely there are grandparents and relatives who will take in the children. With social services involved they may get a monthly stipend to provide care for them.

Even in a worst case scenerio the children are better off in foster care than with a mother who shacks up with a drug using stranger in a hotel room. One room? What were they subjected to while their mother potentially used drugs and had sex in front of them? What  kind of life did they have constantly moving after being evicted. If any of them are in school how could they learn when they have no stability.

I almost wonder if subconsciously she did this as a plea for help. She put you in a position where you had to file or lose $1200. If she wanted to stay out of jail she would have answered her phone and worked with you.

I’m glad your family is supporting you. You definitely don’t deserve any blame or guilt trips. She did all of this on her own.

Good luck!

 

Post # 129
Member
2152 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh wow! I am glad you went to the police.  I hope the kids go to your aunt, but I think it`s better for them this way than being in a hotel room with a strange man doing drugs.

Post # 130
Member
2686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m so sorry you feel bad, but I highly doubt those kids will stay in the system if your aunt wants them. They will go and be with their grandma, and be in a much better situation than they were in with their mother. I hope that this teaches her a lesson and she grows up and becomes a better mother and cousin.

Post # 131
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsStrawberry24:

You do realize what she did was not only stealing, it is Forgery right? You do also realize that these merchants are going to come after YOU for those hot checks and not her if you do not file that report. YOU are responsible for that bank account, not her. Those stores she wrote those checks at, do not care who wrote them, they just want their money. You can’t just tell them, “oh my cousin wrote it and stole from me and I haven’t file a report because I don’t want to hurt her or her children” They don’t care. If you don’t pay for those hot checks guess what happens next, they will file it will the courts, you will have a warrant put out for your arrest then.You will then have Theft by Check charge on you. If she isn’t answering her phone or texts, she isn’t going to help you or pay any of that back.

Honey, I’m not trying to be mean here. I just want you to realize what is all at hand. What all she put on you. It isn’t just the $750 she stole. You seriously need to file the forgery charges against her. If you are worried about her children, fine, take her kids for her while she is locked up. Maybe being locked will teach her not to bite the hand that feeds her. It’s time for her to grow up and handle her business. I hope it works out for you and your Fiance. I hope your cousin finds the helps she needs.

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