What would you do? – FI texting women

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 151
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Please Bee. Men that cheat, or flirt, or watch too much porn or are secretly wishing to include animals in the bedroom, or wear your clothes in secret dress up sessions  LIE and LIE and LIE.  They don’t often, if ever admit the full truth. Taking what he said into consideration should mean further investigation if you have doubts and feel the way you describe.  

I cant speak for you, but for years my ex husband made me feel like I was being ridiculous, silly, just trying to start drama, or even crazy. I was right all along, I just wish I had taken the steps to get concrete proof sooner. I stuck my head in the sand and lived with nagging doubts, feeling not good enough. I desperately wanted to believe, and grow old with him. I am now the only divorced member or my entire family, but I have peace. 

Go with the flow if you can while investigating. Do not bring it up unless you want to hear a lie. He may be telling  the truth,  but you can find out more to put your mind at ease either way. 

I wish you the best. I remember the torture very well. I do not envy you the feelings rolling through your mind right now.  



Post # 152
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
CaliforniaLovin :  Unless a sexy or cutie pie type picture that was sent was followed by response text from fiance/boyfriend saying, “Please do not contact me, I am spoken for” I would break up with him.  I know it sounds harsh but ya know what?  Having ANY kind of communication with a female that makes you uncomfotable is WAY MORE HARSH.  

If I can’t trust my man I can not be involved with him in any way.  I would always be wondering where he is and who is with.

Do NOT let him gaslight you and think this is somehow your fault:  “Well if you weren’t so busy/into your friends/artwork, etc you would have more time for me.”  Do NOT let him BLAME you, ever.  THIS IS ON HIM NOT YOU.  Someday, if it your choice, you may birth a baby.  Guess what – that is three months (usually more) of no sexual activity.  He better learn to deal with no sex AND your attention on the baby.  

Good luck.

I did not read every single response but I do agree that you need to be prepared for a lot of fake crying, a lot of anger/defiance when he was the wrong one.  Not to sound like I watch too much Dateline but if you feel he might get physical you may want a third person around.

Edited to add:  I just went back and read there are TWO women and he is blaming you??  Now I would tell you:  Change the locks and leave him.  Seriously, you can do so much better.

Post # 153
1444 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
minnesotabride17 :  this is off topic to OPs dilemma, but is a woman not able to give a hand job/blow job when pregnant? I have never head that it’s harmful to a baby

Post # 154
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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lauralaura123 :  It’s not harmful, but it’s the last thing most freshly postpartum women are going to want to be doing!

(eta: Unless your name starts with a Z and ends with an EBRA!)

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