What would you do? – FI texting women

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Not sure if this is helpful but a random fact for you. I have an android phone through Verizon.  If someone has their verizon profile set to public (picture and name) and they call someone with another verizon android it comes up with their name and picture. Even if they are not in your contacts… this may or may not be what happened with the phone call, wrong number or whatever but I have gotten calls from wrong numbers before with their picture and name.

Post # 32
Member
9728 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Cheating or working up to it. 

Post # 33
Member
11963 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

The lie makes this so shady. Are these women local? If they are exes, does he have reason to think you’d be OK about talking to them at all or frequently? 

Don’t apologize for snooping, by the way. He lost the right to his privacy when he lied. 

Post # 36
Member
7851 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

But how do you explain his text exchanges with these women where they send sexy selfies and there’s casual conversation? camoandglitter :  

Post # 38
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

tiffanybruiser :  I’m not saying he’s not shady. I didn’t realize that the text messages and the phone call were the same woman. I must have misread that because it sounded as if they were two different people. I was simply saying that a phone call with an icon and a name doesn’t mean that they are saved in their contact list with a verizon android phone.

Post # 39
Member
7851 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

camoandglitter :  I hear you and I wish there was an innocent explanation like that. But given the text messages, I don’t think so unfortunately.

Post # 40
Member
817 posts
Busy bee

CaliforniaLovin :  I couldn’t live like this. I absolutely don’t fault you for snooping, because you never snooped until he gave you valid reason to doubt  him. But look what it’s doing to you- you’re hurt, confused, upset, sleep deprived, looking for ways to play detective to find out the truth. It reduces you to someone who becomes insecure, suspicious, distracted, confused. It torments you. 

So I would give him one chance and one chance only to explain himself- and I would make it crystal clear that this is his ONLY chance to come clean, that if I find out later he lied about things or misled me or omitted important facts, or there are any future incidences, then any last shred of belief I had in him would be finished, as would our relationship.  Ditto if he refuses to discuss things or tries to shift it around to blaming you for looking at his phoneI would describe to him how this has made you feel- the hurt and uncertainty in someone you love and trust, so stressed out that your sleep and well being are affected- and would not let him underestimate the seriousness of this. 

I’m sorry you have to go through this Bee. I’m a very liberal person when it comes to friendships of the opposite sex, but I can’t stand bullshit and deceit. 

Post # 42
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

The woman 2 story would bother me.  You say it looks like they didn’t know each other well already, they were having a conversation about hobbies and stuff?  What other reason would there be to be having that kind of conversation with a girl over text?  Sounds like he met and exchanged numbers with her or they met on a dating app.  Maybe he eventually didn’t feel right about it and deleted the app which is why you can’t find it now.  But something is definitely off here.  It’s worth the conversation.  It’s not like you can just live silently forever with this information.  I’d have to get it over with asap.  Rip the bandaid off quick. 

Post # 43
Member
7851 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’d confront him now and be as matter of fact as possible. Here are the facts:

A woman called him the other day and he pretended not to know who she was. You know he’s lying because you found conversations that he has had with her previously. You are not going to apologize for snooping because it’s him that betrayed your trust, and you did what was necessary to confirm your suspicions after his sketchy behavior during the call. He gets ONE CHANCE to come clean.

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