What would you do? – FI texting women

posted 5 months ago in Emotional
Post # 91
Member
915 posts
Busy bee

Call the number and see who it is and let her know HE is in a relationship and lied about knowing her when asked. 

Post # 92
Member
12207 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

janedoe27 :  The woman on the other end already heard him blatantly lie to his fiance about who he was talking to. She knows. 

Post # 93
Member
3376 posts
Sugar bee

CaliforniaLovin :  there are so many ways to hide apps, folders, files, photos, web hostory that it would be impossible to give you comfort that you have found everything. 

Personally, there is not an explanation he could give that I would find acceptable. There is no above board reason for these calls and texts. Your spidey sense is tingling because you know he has wronged you. He will try to gaslight you when confronted. It is up to you whether you want to live a lie or not.

Post # 94
Member
4187 posts
Honey bee

janedoe27 :  Text girl isn’t the problem here. What you’re suggesting is nothing more than a diversion/obfuscation of what really needs to be done.

Post # 96
Member
6495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I don’t know where you go from here, bee. But I would sit him down and tell him, “You looked me straight in the eyes and lied to me. How am I supposed to ever believe you again?”

Only you can answer whether you can or not. It isn’t so much what he did or did not do, but he fact that he looked you in the eye and lied without missing a beat. That’s kind of scary.

Post # 99
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

Neither of those things would be ok with me. He’s secretly been in contact with not one but two women (that you know of) throughout the history of your relationship, as recently as that phone call.  He has confirmed the pattern for you.  Take him at his word and don’t spend any more of your precious time giving love to a man who doesn’t appreciate it.

Post # 100
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

CaliforniaLovin :  girl, you are in love with love and the things that go hand-in-hand with this. You want a baby and all of the things but you seriously want them with this man? You realize none of this makes sense, right? Why would he pretend not to know her when she called? Why is he portraying you like a jealous, insecure girlfriend who suffocated him so he has to hide female friendships? He is cheating on you. Physical or emotional, it makes no difference. You really want this man as a role model for a future son or daughter? SLOW DOWN. Stop fantasizing about the future when you have serious problems in the present. 4 years is a long time to have to find out your boyfriend isn’t a good man, but it’s better than 20 and a family to break up. If you bury your head in the sand on this then it’s on you and you will spend the rest of your relationship questioning, snooping, and mistrusting him. He will end up cheating and blame you for causing a rift with your lack of trust. This isn’t going to end well no matter what because he is a lying liar who lies.

Post # 102
Member
4905 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Wow so sorry to hear about this. How scary. He has a secret, double life. His excuse about wanting her pic for his contacts is such bs it’s offensive. Has he saved her name and her pic as the avatar? Though not.

Wishing you the best.

Post # 104
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

CaliforniaLovin :  the truth hurts but trust me, it’s nowhere near as painful as the life you’re about to sign up for with this dirt bag. Of course he wants you to have a baby. It’ll be so much harder for you to walk away and he can pull away because your focus is on the baby and therefore he can justify carrying on with other women because he’s neglected. You heard it here first. Buy another furchild to love unconditionally for now and stand on your own two feet. You don’t need a shred more proof,  nor do you need his excuses and empty promises. Walk. Away.

Post # 105
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

CaliforniaLovin :  You are definitely doing the right thing giving yourself space and time to process. I don’t think anyone should jump the gun and you are obviously being rational.

Proving the above is not the issue. The issue is that any of the above happened to begin with. The problem is what happened above. You have to decide what is allowable in your relationship. Talking and entertaining these women is disrespectful to you and the relationship.

The contradictions of his story, he asked for a photo to update her contact info but wasn’t going to save her contact info… curious.. so why would he need the photo. I am assuming he is saying he requested it during their phone call. Is this the one where he asked if the photo was new cause he hadn’t seen it…

So the story is they were together years ago. broke up, he got engaged she found out and called to congratulate him and they have now rekindled their friendship, she texts him good morning and they call one another randomly about nothing. Any person in their right mind knows this is not okay!

The thing is this.. if it was innocent and he thought it was okay. When it happened he would have told you.. so and so called to congratulate us today, it was weird. Or at minimum when you asked about the call instead of lying he would have said, Oh so a former girl I used to be with called to congratulate us on getting engaged and now we talk and text …. but he didn’t cause he knows it’s shady AF! He even answered the phone, who is this. Obv, former girl he has slept with knows he doesn’t want you to know he is talking to her.

Updated: At the beginning of our relationship, a month in, FH got a promotion, ex who he broke up with found out from his family and called him to congratulate him. He thanked her and told her not to contact him anymore and blocked her on everything. That nigh t he told me, today so and so called I told her thank you but it’s over and blocked her on everything. If my ex called to congratulate me FH would know. We respect our relationship. He respects me and us and the life we are building.

Me a stranger on the internet can tell just from your posts and handling of this situation you arnt a crazy or jealous person.

 

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