- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
So the total budget for our wedding is right around 46,000. My Mom has offered to contribute about 5,000 of that, my sister and best friend generously offered 1,500 each towards some of DIY projects without me asking. Which I thought was awesome of them. FI’s Dad hasn’t offered a solid amount but has said he will chip in. So Fiance and I knew were gonna have to come up with about 35k of that number and we are fine with that. It is after all our wedding.
Well last night FI’s Mom’s boyfriend let’s call him Brian (FI’S parent’s have been divorced for over twenty years and she has been dating Brian for about twenty years so he’s like a Step-Dad to FI) Brian asked Fiance to come by his place later on that night. When Fiance got there he said that he is willing to give $12,000 towards the wedding….
On these conditions:
He wants Fiance to get confirmed. FI’s entire family is Catholic, I am Christian, Pentecostal, and Fiance has gone to Catholic schools his entire life. He has the choice to get confirmed when he was younger but didn’t because he didn’t want to go to the classes. Fiance is a bit stubborn so his Mom didn’t push him.
He wants us both to attend couples’ financial planning classes.
He wants Fiance to find out if a Priest can participate in the ceremony since Fiance is Catholic
And the kicker that Fiance is most upset about
He wants him to go to school to finish his bachelor’s degree. Edit: He is also willing to foot the bill to send him back to school. Fiance left college after his junior year because he was bored and felt like he was wasting time and money. He genuinely feels like college is a joke and you can have a very meaningful and successful life without it. I agree with him about that.
If Fiance does all three he will write a check for 12,000 if not he will give him $2,000 towards each thing that he does do.
So know I’m stuck between a rock and hard place. On one hand I’m like let’s just do it. I mean getting confirmed and having a priest participate is no big deal. Fiance is Catholic and so is his entire family, it would help make them feel included in the ceremony. We could both, especially me, probably benefit from the financial planning classes and if he wants to go beyond the high school level for coaching basketball (which he does his dream is to coach college) he will need to have his degree. Why not finish it now before you have kids and more responsibility.
But then on the other hand I feel like the whole thing is just wrong. If Brian wants to contribute to the wedding he should just do it and not put all these conditions on it his gift. Sure, his money would help and it would make things easier on Fiance but we could do it without it. I don’t think I want to “pimp” my Fiance out for 12k.
What to do? Thoughts?