Post # 1
The other night was my high school reunion, so DH and I made it into a bit of a date night and went to a nice taphouse downtown beforehand. Since I am nearly 7 months pregnant at this point, I decided that dammit, I was going to have a bit of beer at the taphouse. They have sooooo many beers on tap and I love that place, and I think at this point I’ve earned a small serving of delicious beer! So we ordered a sampler flight, and one of the beers in the flight was mine-all-mine. I’m not sure how big samplers are in ounces, but I’d guess that my little glass of hefeweizen was about a quarter of the size of a full pint of beer. Clearly not enough to do any damage to the baby.
Then we get to the reunion and I’m chatting with some old high school acquaintances and am laughingly telling this story about my teeny tiny little playtime beer and how good it was. And one of the guys gets this look in his eye and is like “wow, you mean they served you beer?” And I looked at him in surprise, because of course they did, why wouldn’t they?! It’s not like I ordered a round of tequila shots or put down six glasses of wine or something. And he answered that back when he worked as a bartender, if a pregnant woman tried to order alcohol he just straight up wouldn’t give it to her, no matter what it was.
This has never happened to me before, and I honestly don’t know what I would do if it did. I’d like to think I would respond by calmly explaining the whole science behind it and how a little wine or a sampler of beer isn’t going to hurt the baby, and etc etc etc. But in reality I’d probably just completely f***ing lose my shit and ream out the bartender with the whole “oh, I didn’t realize you just moonlighted as a bartender after working all day as an OBGYN!” and “how kind of you to take such an interest in my body and my pregnancy!” snark attack.
What do you think you would do if you were pregnant and a bartender refused to serve you? Has this ever happened to you?
Post # 3
I’m not pregnant. If a bartender refuses to serve a visibly pregnant woman, I think it’s okay — she’s using her discretion. We’re taught that any alcohol is so awful for a baby that I understand why a bartender would do that. I will let you know in a year or so if it happens to me…=)
Post # 4
I would be livid if someone refused to serve me. I haven’t tried ordering anything, but I’m sure if they refused to serve me that I would leave. It’s totally none of their business what someone does with her own body.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I would like to think that I would respond with facts/science to back up the fact that it wouldn’t hurt the baby, but I would probably lose my cool and either cry or start yelling that I wanted to speak to the manager. I’m kinda unpredictable emotionally so who knows.
I also don’t think I’ll drink while pregnant, though, even though I know it would be fine- alcohol makes me sick, so I would be setting myself up for failure.
Post # 6
@peachacid: yeah, I guess if someone is going to be less-than-fully-educated on the effects of alcohol on pregnancy (which, let’s face it, most people are until they become pregnant themselves and really do the research), it’s better that it be in the direction of no booze than too much booze! That’s why I would HOPE that I could calmly explain that it’s actually fine to have a little bit, especially at this late stage of the game. Then again, I know myself, and after months and months of “are you sure you should be having that soda/food/tea” comments from the peanut gallery, this just might be the straw that broke the camel’s back, haha.
What I can surely guarantee is that the tip at the end of the night would be a big fat zero, because f*** you, bartender.
Post # 7
Refusing to serve on the basis someone is pregnant is technically illegal. I used to bartender and had several ladies that would come in for the occasional glass of wine, beer, or whatever. I never refused nor would any of my owners have allowed me to refuse. It’s was my job to serve, not to judge. The only time I refused to serve was people were already too drunk.
Maybe I have a different look at drinking while pregnant, I’m older, it was my high risk obgyn who told me it was OK to occasionally have a cocktail after the first trimester. I wasn’t supposed to sit around and get sloshed, but a drink was hurting anything. He still says that today and he is one of the top specialists in the country now.
Post # 8
@bunnymama: right?! I mean, I can understand being uncomfortable with handing over MULTIPLE glasses of beer or wine, or mixing a liquor drink, but even then, it’s really not the bartender’s place to say anything.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t serve a woman any more than a quarter-pint of beer or a 5oz glass of wine if she was more than 6 months pregnant or so. So yes, you were within your rights to order that much. I drink very sparingly, myself.
My FI used to be a bartender and he refuses to serve alcohol to anyone pregnant. He doesn’t drink, however, so he may have more of a personal stance on that subject.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I used to bartend and even though I would feel bad about it, if she orders it then I’m going to serve it. If a bartender doesn’t want to serve a pregnant woman then they need to grab another bartender and ask them to deliver the drink for them. It’s not a bartender’s place to make that decision and if it happened to me, I would close out my bill and tip $1.00 to show them my “appreciation” for them judging me on my 1/4 pint beer.
Post # 11
Honestly, I don’t think I have the guts to publicly drink while pregnant. I might occasionally have the amount you are talking about – studies have definitely shown it to be ok! – but the judgemental wrath of the uneducated general population just isn’t worth it to me to drink in public.
Post # 12
My brother ex lost a baby because of drinking..sure she drank too much, but if i was a bartender I wouldnt serve you either
Post # 13
@crayfish: oh I definitely hear ya on that. I almost never drink any alcohol at all, especially in public, because it’s just not worth the drama. But if it’s a special occasion or a fancy dinner and I want a quarter of a glass of wine to go with it, I’m going to get it and anyone who butts in about it is going to get an earful!
Post # 14
That would be illegal. If a woman decides to drink alcohol while preggers, that is her decision.
Post # 15
@Ibblet: What if you saw someone drive up and park in front of the bar? Would you refuse to serve a single drop of alcohol to that person as well, since plenty of people are killed by drunk drivers?
Post # 16
Interesting, Haven’t been in this kind of situation. but my sister has, when she was about 6 months pregnant, she went to the corner store to get some snacks, and to pick up some beer for her SO, well the lady at the register looked at her so weird. almost baffled* and my sister just said, “what this baby is thirsty?!” Lol jokingly f course, then explained the situation. She did take me out for drinks last year on my birthday, i think she was about 2 months preg, and ordered a redbull, seeing as it was my bday, well when she ordered the redbull, the guy was like “with what?” and she said “umm…wiith ICE!” he said something of the sort to “no alcohol” and she said “nope, she was cooking a bun in the oven, ya know preggo?” and he just “That SUCKS!” she told him to f-off! while I don’t condone a person going out and getting plastered while they’re pregnant, I don’t think a bartender should say anything about it, unless it conflicts with the “you’ve had too much to drink tonight I can’t serve you any more” kind of thing.