(Closed) What would you do if a friend called your SO/FI/DH ugly?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Never happened to me. I respect everyone’s right to find different things attractive, but her comment was just plain rude. I’m sorry that happened.

I probably would have made a smart-ass comment like “Well, I guess it good that I’m the one who has to look at him and not you then, huh?”

Post # 4
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

never happened to me, but OMG what an ass she made of herself. She has total foot in mouth syndrome. Wow, who would ever say that about a total stranger anyway.

I don’t know how I would have responded, sounds like you handled it fairly graciously considering. 

Post # 5
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@firsttimemom: this is AWFUL! how weird. Why would you ever say that about a stranger anyway? looks really dont matter when it comes to a man treating you well! ๐Ÿ™‚

well no one has ever called my Darling Husband ugly (he is actually a very handsome man) but my friends used to say the worst things about his beard. that is was gross, etc. it really was annoying and awful. 

Post # 6
Member
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh sheesh, do people actually do that??? She really made an ass of herself, and you were a better person than I would’ve been in that situation.

When I first started dating Fiance, a friend told me I was too pretty to settle for someone unattractive and needed a hot young stud. ๐Ÿ˜› I thought it was pretty rude of her, and I never found my Fiance unattractive. Not to mention that her boyfriend was ugly on the inside – a horrible man. Looks aren’t everything.

Post # 7
Member
5179 posts
Bee Keeper

Ok she didn’t know it was your husband so it’s not like she was trying to be malicious. She thought it was a strAnger who would never know she made that comment or be hurt by it. And whether or not we want to admit it, we all notice the good looking people and the ugly ones as well. We might not all be crass as this woman and say it out loud. You know what is important and are happy with your hubby. If I were you, I would let it go.

Post # 7
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

A girl said something similar to that a little before FH and I got engaged (but knowing that we had already talked about getting married), of course she said she also didn’t approve because he is*gasp* three and a half years older than me. Sure he isn’t a traditional handsome but all that matters is that I’m attracted to him right? Besides he is stable and cares for my well being.

I blew off her concerns and in the end distanced myself from her from similar behavior.

 

I should add that he already is self conscious (told me today he thought he almost ruined our engagement pictures) so I never told him these comments- he already doesn’t like because her attitude about other things.

Post # 8
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

That’s horrible! An old friend of mine came over for a party a couple summers ago and got really drunk. He proceeded to tell me how Darling Husband should ride a bike more often because he’s fat and needs to lose weight. I was mortified. Granted Darling Husband could stand to lose a couple pounds, but who says that to someone?! Later that night he was joking around and apparently tried to throw Darling Husband in the bonfire we had going, and he tried to hit on a few girls and was acting really creepy and making them uncomfortable. Darling Husband nearly clobbered him. The worst part was that I was working with this guy at the time, and come Monday morning I knew I had to face him. He didn’t remember anything and I told him what had happened point blank. He was incredibly embarassed and apologized a million times, but I never really let it go. Needless to say he wasn’t invited to our wedding and I haven’t really talked to him since that job ended. It was clear he had a drinking problem and from what I’ve heard since that incident and not being invited to our wedding he’s given up drinking and straightened up. I’m sad it ended a friendship though.

Post # 9
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Oh snap!!!!! I had to put up with my sister saying things like that about Fiance. Finally I just told her to STFU! Then I pointed out that at least our bills are all paid, and we don’t have to ask Mommy for help. That stopped her in her tracks! lol

Post # 9
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

People call my Fiance fat all the time. He isn’t he is actually very solid because he lifts weights all the time, but because he is 230 they assume he is cubby under his shirt and not built like a wrestler. He just doesn’t do the crazy diets it takes a lot of people to get a magazine six pack, buthis arms clearly show muscle, so I don’t get the fat comments. It bugs me and I agree with the first person, I just make smart ass comments like “Its a good thing I am the one who looks at him naked then” or “Then how can he bench press a buick I wonder…” stuff like this.

I’m sorry people said that I know it hurts when people do that and it triggers every kind of protective emotion. I find him gorgeous as I am sure you find your man gorgeous and not just for his face or body but because of everything that he is.

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

how horrible for you and how rude of her – im kinda speachless to be honest, i mean you dont say that stuff outloud, does she still think shes in highschool

when i think of my hubby i think about how he makes me laugh and how we are happy, looks are long down in the list of things i love about him. ugggh – sorry someone was that rude 

 

Post # 11
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Wow… to be honest I think that I would just blink. One of those things that would completely catch me off guard and make me go “Whaaaaa….?”

Post # 12
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Way rude of her!! But I do agree that she didn’t know he was your husband…

I will be the first to admit that I didn’t think my husband was attractive most of the time I knew him, he would say the same about me. We were friends for about 10 years before we got together, and we were never attracted to each other before we really got to know each other more than before. Now, I think he’s perfect…for me anyway. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 13
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

And I also agree, that looks are secondary to how well they treat you! I think the good treatment makes them more attractive

Post # 14
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

One of my friends has a bad habit of telling all of her friends how unattracitve she thinks their boyfriends/fiances/husbands are.  I don’t think she does it on purpose, and she doesn’t actually use the word “ugly,” but she makes it very clear that she doesn’t think they are attractive.  I don’t get it, because the guys she dates aren’t attractive either! 

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