(Closed) What would you do if invited but under this condition…..

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?
    Suck it up and go alone : (32 votes)
    11 %
    Attend just the ceremony with my DH, then leave and miss the reception : (100 votes)
    33 %
    Not go at all : (171 votes)
    56 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Well, I do understand that people have budget constraints, but I generally think if the “plus one” is your spouse there should be an exception. If I didn’t know anyone who was going to be there, I’d probably send my regrets along with a nice gift.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    i would probably still go, because i don’t mind going places by myself.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2815 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I agree with Katy.  I would have to send regrets.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    1925 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My Fiance and I are having a small wedding but we are still following the convention that we are inviting the partner of everyone who is living with their partner.  Also, everyone we’re inviting knows at least 20+ people at the wedding.  I think this is strange!  I would still probably go, but it’s definitely a bummer!

    Post # 8
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I don’t mind going places by myself, but a wedding isn’t like going to a movie. It’s a social gathering, people are chatting, drinking, dancing. It’s not as fun In My Humble Opinion if you’re looking around for people to talk to all night.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2273 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Ooooh this is hard – I believe that FIs and DHs are automatic “plus ones”, I think the only way I would go is if it was one of my close friends weddings as we are a pretty biggish group – if it was one of my other friends and I knew no one else I probably wouldn’t go. It just wouldn’t be any fun… 

    I guess as long as I knew at least 1 other person (other than the bride or groom as they will be too busy) I’d go but still leaving my Fiance at home would make me cranky hahaha

    Post # 10
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    If my husband was not invited, I doubt I would attend.  I’m having a small wedding as well and not everyone is getting a plus one but married couples of course are, whether I know them well or not!

    Post # 11
    Member
    5093 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Once you’re married, you have a permanent plus one added to all invitations to social events of this sort.  No exceptions.  He’s your husband.  I would decline.  And then not send a gift because I’d be so offended and wouldn’t feel like being the bigger person.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Husband/wife/partners are social unit. Super awkward to invite one and then expect the other to not be allowed. I’d politely decline the entire invite. 4 hours round trip by yourself is a lot. Budget constraints are one thing, but they need to cut back on the list then to allow for people to bring their spouses.

    ETA- I agree with GreenEyedMoon, I likely wouldn’t send a gift either. But I’m sort of a meanie like that and only send gifts when I’m really bummed that I can’t make it.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I would just go to the ceremony too. I think she definitely should have invited your husband.

    eta: just read previous posts and saw that the wedding is 2 hrs away… yeah I would just send regrets.

    Post # 16
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Off topic, but it seems like so many people just have no wedding common sense anymore.

    One of my husband’s GOOD friends (like, we’ve all hung out many times and even vacationed together) got married recently and on the invite they sent us it said:

    “[DH] and guest”

    Really? After being married for all these years and you know me, I’m just… guest? People are silly.

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