(Closed) What would you do if… ? (Scenario)

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

Hold your tongue.  Or at least wait for them to bring it up.

Post # 4
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh wow – that is a tough one!

In your expert opinion do you think that it could be helped/prevent further problems if treated?????

I think if treatment could help the child I would say something – while treading VERY carefully!!!!!

Post # 5
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

It depends. Is this a developmental issue that the child just might be slow in “getting” or is an issue that the parents can’t do anything about. If it is something the child needs help developing in give some suggestions (not demands, not over the top, maybe make it into a game that could be played) If it is something the parents cannot do anything about wait until it is brought up.

Post # 6
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Gosh that is a tough one.  Because to not point it out and see it play out later – and know that maybe you could have helped if you’d mentioned it earlier?  That would be so hard to live with especially if it’s something that could be corrected if caught early enough. 

I think I’d have to tell them what I thought.   It would be hard, and if I were wrong it might hurt the relationship, but I would be most concerned with the child’s well being.  

Post # 7
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

Family, say something. Friend, hold your tongue, no matter how hard it is. 🙁

 

What a sucky situation, either way!

Post # 8
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d say something. As a Mom,and knowing YOU saw something amiss and never mentioned it to me,I think I’d be not only hurt,but offended. You wouldn’t be saying something to be mean or critical,but expressing your concern so it is altogether different. Sometimes we can’t see what’s right under our noses!

Post # 9
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It depends on the issue. If it’s something that the parents can do (or stop doing) that impacts how the child is developing, that’s a touchy issue, because no one wants to be told how to raise their kid.  But if it’s something that is medically wrong, perhaps you can mention it in a kind way…?  

good luck!

Post # 10
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

If I were educated enough to have an expert opinion, I’d say something. 

Post # 11
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I know of these boys in particular who are part of a family and they are little boys … but are awful. They are always crying and abusive … I seriously think there is something wrong and they are the exact reason I did not want any children … b/c I did not want them to come.

Everyone bites their tongues … but the boys are like little devils. They’re so horrible. Behind their back everyone is like OhMyGod wth is wrong with them?

Post # 12
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’d say something.. but very very carefully.. I am a mom.. and mothers can be very defensive of their children and their mothering skills.

Post # 13
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

If the child were merely poorly behaved due to parents not enforcing rules, I would not say anything.  After all, what could you expect if you did say something?  “Oh, gee, we’d overlooked the fact that we never enforced any rules, and will start doing that from here on in,” seems pretty unlikely.

However, if I believed the child had a developmental problem, I would say something.  I know that with my own son, who has Asperger’s, discovering that there was an actual biological issue going on was a big help.  It enabled us to stop blaming ourselves or him, and to start looking for strategies we could teach him to help him get around his developmental issues.  At this point (he is 27), he is far more functional than many of his relatives who had less severe Asperger’s, because he has learned so many coping strategies.

Post # 15
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

let me add another question to the mix.  Let’s say you are a medical professional and your friend is of the same profession….yet doesn’t see developmental issues in her child that you see.  Do you say something then?

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