She isnt the type of person you can just sit down and discuss it with. I’ve done it before with the cheating topic, with the her being a bit of a shoddy friend topic (another long story, she is actually a bridesmaid and our wedding isnt in Dec its a lot sooner, i just couldnt post under my regular profile, but ever since i got engaged she has pretty much ditched me unless its a group gathering), with the why on earth are you buying stuff on credit when you have so much debt already topic etc, etc etc – if you disagree with her or question her about anything no matter how diplomatically you try to do it she goes nuts. There are so many things I have confronted her about – she ALWAYS turns it around, gets really mean and tries to make me look like the bad guy. She said to me the other day out of all her friends im the only one that feels the need to be honest with her – like it’s a bad thing. I think it says a lot about me that I am trying to help her and guide her to do the right thing by being honest – she cant see it though.
I feel like she has lost all sense of reality when we argue. For example, It came out just after they got married a few years ago that she cheated, but she denied, denied, denied it and now when she talks about it and the person that actually had the balls to tell her husband its like she’s convinced herself that that person was lying and just out to get her – she’s all “i cant believe that biyotch tried to ruin my family she deserves all the bad things that happen to her”
I just dont know what to do anymore, she has become this very self absorbed person, every single topic no matter how big or small her audience is all me, me, me – she even monopolised my hen party with stories of her marital problems (all of them lies when you know the real story). How can you make your partner go for therapy when he isnt even the issue, how can you make him try so hard and point out all these things he needs to work on (which he is) when it doesnt actually matter in the long run cos you’re still intimate with your ex and you wouldnt even have problems if not for your disgusting behaviour.
I want to take her by the shoulders, shake her and say wtf is your problem. You have an incredible child, a loving husband that would do anything for you why are you screwing it up. You have a fantastic group of friends that are getting sick of you going on and on about yourself and not giving them a chance to get a word in, you have me, your best friend who you have treated like a second rate citizen since i got engaged and make feel like shit every time i open my mouth and say something you dont like, but you just dont see that you’re throwing it all away.
How can she not care about any of it. I do sometimes wonder why we’re still friends, why she is a bridesmaid, but im really worried about her – something has gone really wrong with her and she is going to lose everything but she just doesnt care. She cant see past what she wants and needs and what makes her happy but isnt thinking about anyone else.
And dont get me started on the drama, every week there is something causing some sort of drama in her life, i have reached a point where i wonder if she is the person causing it so she can get attention.
Argh, this sound so so so mean. I am not mean. I am just furious and hurt and sick of knowing everything i know and trying to get her to see what is best for her then just getting a kick in the face.