- 9 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
So my family AND my FI’s family are being pains a bit.
My Fiance and I have decided to change our date. Our original date would have been very close to his nephew’s 2nd birthday (the one the passed) and we decided out of respect toward his family we wouldn’t make them sit through a wedding during a very depressing time.The date wasn’t hugly important because we hadn’t put any deposits down or anything and it was a legit reason in my opinion.
So now that we are looking for venues we have gotten two things.
One: our new date is now too close to Christmas, its during the time they want to be Christmas shopping not worrying aobut a wedding. Now they want me to move my date again out of convenience.
Two: I want to have my wedding in Portland. Its about an hour from our house, and both sets of our parents and just over an hour for all the other family, but it is in the middle of everyone. I figured it would be fair to have somewhere in the middle so we didn’t have some people driving 7 hours and some driving 5 minutes. All that aside, his parents and grandparents refuse to drive an hour and a half or so to our wedding. “Its too far and inconvenient” for them (their words) and my mother agrees with this. She keeps telling me that she doesn’t want to HAVE TO drive THAT FAR, because an hour is sooooo far. My parents drove 5 hours for my nephews 4th birthday but one hour for my wedding is soooo inconvenient. They drive 2 hours for dinner with my step sisters because when my step sisters say jump they say how high, but one hour for me “oh lord!” And Fi’s grandparents flew to friggen New York for his cousins wedding. His MOTHER even says she does want to ride in the car that long (his father has no problems driving that far, they are married and she wouldn’t be driving just along for the ride). He dad even offered to carpool up with the grandparents so they didn’t have to go the whole way, but that still wasn’t good enough. They need a wedding 5 minutes from their house and 7 hours from most of my family who live in Eastern Washington.
So the first time it was requested I change my venue I thought the reason was a legit one (even though FI’s brother exploited that situation in the worst ways, I vented about how sick he made me) and I changed my date. THAT REASON was ok with me, but now they think they can dictate when and where my wedding will happen because I changed it once so “whats the big deal changing it again”. My mom agrees with them on this (my step dad kind of just sits there). She says I am asking too much of my guests to drive 1-2 hours to my wedding.
Now his grandparents I understand not wanting to drive that far, driving in the dark is uncomfortable for them, but they were offered an out from driving.
I know most of you will say hold your ground, its your day, have it where you want, BUT my Fiance gave me this look last night. This HEARTBREAKING look with “Can we just change it so they will come.” I can hold my ground as much as I want, but they will too. The only person who would come is his dad without complaint (can you tell I love his dad to death).
So here is my problem. There are no venues anything like the ones in Portland where they live. I could choose from grange halls or WAY overpriced outdoor venues (like 8,500 site rental fee, no food included overpriced). My FI’s grandparents would have let us use their place until his uncle threw a fit about people being at “his” house. Its not his he’s just in his 50’s a drunk and has never lived on his own so he thinks its his, but now that isn’t an option (and wouldn’t be in October in Oregon anyway).
I will change it for him if I can find a ballroom in Eugene (not likely). I wont do it for them, but I will do it because of that look he gave me.
God I wish families would just friggen relax with this shit and just let me do my thing. But of course, as we all have found out, weddings are about EVERYONE ELSE and how it works with THEIR life, not about the bride and groom (sarcasm).