(Closed) What would you do in this situation?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds like you two need to sit down and discuss your budget and spending habbits. You both need to be on the same page. 

Figure out how much needs to go to bills (including food and gas) and how much into a general savings.  Then figure out how much each person is going to contribute.  Are you going to have 100% joint accounts or would each person maintain their own but contribute X% to shared household expenses?  Depending on what you do, it’s might not a bad idea to give each person a monthly allowance to spend how each person wants.

Once you figure out your overall living expenses and your budget, you can figure out what to do about the wedding. 

Also, definitely do not call him selfish.  While it is selfish of him to spend all of the extra money on himself it’s equally selfish to demand it be spent on something you want.

Post # 5
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@busybride215:  I think you need to sit down and have a candid conversation about life goals, finances, responsiblities, etc.  It doesn’t sound like he is serious about supporting his family if he is going out and buying all sorts of toys and you’re the only one paying bills.  Even if you don’t have a wedding & end up getting married at the courthouse, that is only one day you don’t have to worry about.  You still have to get yourselves on the same page & be able to save for your family’s future. 

Once you’ve had a serious discussion & established some specific goals (buying a house, saving X amount of money, etc.), you can sit down with a financial advisor and they can teach you different tools for saving money & becoming more accountable.  You can also look for finance awareness/responsibility classes put on by local churches or community colleges.

Post # 6
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Really, you’re both being selfish.  You want the $2500 for a wedding, he wants a new tablet and games.  Not selfish would be saying you want that $2500 for your son’s college fund.  Honestly, I’d be concerned that neither of you have been able to save a significant amount money in 2 years.  I’d sit down with him, and figure out what your long term and short term goals are, make a budget together and stick to it. 

Post # 7
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@MariContrary:  +1

If you are going to marry this man, you two definately need to get on the same page and discuss how you want to spend your money – as a family, not his and hers.

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