(Closed) what would you do? kids, stealing vs taking vs finding

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would be talking to the parents ASAP. The kids definitely knew what they were doing. I’m in juvenile probation, so after a day of work I have little patience for asshole children. I just finished a program last night with parents and children and we discussed how kids get away with a lot more these days because parents don’t communicate with other parents. And also children learn that this behavior is okay, because their parents enable them and always believe they can do no wrong so the children continue with wrong behaviors. I would approach the parents, but honestly I doubt they would be receptive. 

Post # 3
47383 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
HoorayLouLou:  I would not have paid them a finder’s fee for returning games they stole from private property. What a poor lesson to teach them.

If the boy or his younger brother found the games on someone else’s property, it is time they learned that their first assumption should be that it belongs to the property owner.

They had two choices: leave the games where they were, or take them to their own parents and ask them to return to the property with them to ascertain ownership. In my mind it would not be safe to suggest a young child go knock on doors unaccompanied, to say they found the games and ask who owned them.

Post # 5
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
HoorayLouLou:  I would have talked to their parents, end of story. No money would have ever been paid for my own property. 

Post # 6
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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HoorayLouLou:  Yeah… the husband paying them for them was probably the worst thing he could have done, lol. Obviously they stole them and didn’t “find” them conveniently. I’d be calling their parents and asking for the $55 back. 

Post # 7
953 posts
Busy bee

I don’t understand why they wouldn’t go to the parents.  The parents need to know the children stole. Because they did steal and if they believe they didn’t they need to be explained exactly what theft is and the consequences.  As a parent I would damned well want to know my children were doing this. Then again what did the parents think when the children magically showed up with the games.

No I wouldn’t reward them. You are rewarding bad behavior.  Of they thought the items were simply lost items they should have asked around, as in gone to your friends house as they did looking for the chargers to make sure they weren’t someone belongings. 

It’s totally wrong to pay the kids.  It’s teaching them such a bad life lesson and no social responsibility.  

Post # 8
4241 posts
Honey bee

Yeah, those kids are old enough to know that the DS laying on the lawn is not a lost item they can just take, and I don’t believe “finders keepers” applies to this scenario. The husband made a mistake and no way should he have given them money. They will probably grow into one of those horrible adults who won’t give back property they know belongs to someone else unless they’re paid a reward (well hopefully not…).

Post # 9
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Go to the parents before the kids take something else. I’d be thinking the kids will be back because it was so easy for them to make money from the dad. And i’d be setting up security cameras out front.

A relative of mine uses her old cell phone with an ap called Alfred. It turns her old cell into a security camera that can take video and pics 24/7 as long as it is connected to wifi and you can see it live stream from your current phone. You can speak into it to tell whoever is on your property to beat it!

Post # 10
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

If they came back to ask for the chargers, they knew the DS had owners AND knew who the owners were. That’s not “finders keepers” that’s just stealing.

It’d be one thing if the kid found it at the park or some place public where who knows who the owners might have been, but taking from the yard and having the gall to go and ask for the chargers?

I bet that kid leaves his bike unattended all the time. Maybe someone should “find” it

Post # 11
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Go talk to the parents.  They were stolen. 

Post # 12
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I would be very upset if I found out my boys stole from someones yard, then got rewarded with cash for it. Those kids knew better. I would call their parents.

Post # 13
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
HoorayLouLou:  I don’t have kids but in my opinion that is stealing. I would talk to parents ASAP, because as a saying goes “you can’t teach old dog new tricks”.

They need to learn now that this is form of stealing, so they grow up smarter. Also, I would ask for money return from parents.

Post # 15
2676 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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HoorayLouLou:  I have to disagree with the previous posters. If a child that young is telling an adult to “go f*ck herself” and charging a finder’s fee for things he stole, he is learning that behaviour (and probably worse) at home. No way in hell would I go confront the parents. At best confronting the parents would probably lead to being ignored/laughed at, at worst it could lead to serious bodily injury. I might have been tempted to call the cops, but at this point what’s done is done.

The best thing your friend can do is tell her kids to steer clear of that boy, and also to not leave expensive things laying around. If I were her, I probably also wouldn’t let my small kids play unsupervised in the front yard when there’s an aggressive little hooligan running around the neighborhood.

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