(Closed) What would you do?! LONG!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?
    Don't invite either of them. : (26 votes)
    60 %
    Invite him, not her...and explain to him why she is not welcomed. : (8 votes)
    19 %
    Send an invite, and hope she doesn't come with him, since she obviously doesn't like any of us. : (8 votes)
    19 %
    Other (please explain!) : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1112 posts
    Bumble bee

    Don’t invite them. I have a couple of friends who sound IDENTICAL to this. Fiance is even a groomsman in this couple’s wedding. CRINGE. ugh. But he is not invited to any of our festivites. They are coming to the wedding…but the wedding is 300 people so there was no way around that. but parties, showers, no. They are not welcome.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee

    Don’t invite them

    Post # 5
    Member
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Don’t invite them. Then when he asks why, don’t be awkward about it. Tell him straight up exactly why. It may open his eyes and save him from what looks to be a disastrous marriage.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    Unfortunately he’s made his bed, and he will have to lie in it unless he comes to his senses. Do not invite them. And tell him why. “Listen, we respect the choice that you have made to be with her, but she has said horrible things about all of us. This is a happy day for me, and I just can’t have her there when she’s said horrible stuff to all of us in the past. I’m sorry.” He will either understand or he won’t, but you should not bend over backwards to include such a mean spirited person.

    For the record… a good guy friend from high school went through this exact same thing. When he and the girl had broken up at one point, and it seemed like forever, NOT ONE PERSON told him he was making a mistake. And when he got back together with her, EVERY SINGLE person told him they thought it was a mistake. He married her anyway. People will do what they want to do, you can only do so much as well.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1356 posts
    Bumble bee

    Don’t invite them!!!

    Post # 10
    Member
    648 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I wouldn’t invite them. I have someone similar to this in my life and she sure won’t be getting an invite to my wedding.

    Post # 11
    Member
    6741 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Don’t invite them, it won’t be long before the guy friend just falls off the face of the earth anyway.  He’s done, gone – say bye and move on.

    Post # 12
    Member
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @MissCountryGirl727:  On the other side… I’m sure it would mean a lot for this friend to be invited to the wedding, especially as he has been friends for awhile.  It might really hurt him if he isn’t included.  Is it worth it to  hurt an old friend just because you don’t like his girlfriend?  I mean, his girlfriend at the wedding is going to sit at her table, talk to the people around her….she won’t bug you at all?!  So, I’m not sure it would be a huge deal to include this couple.  Anyways, just a thought…

    Post # 13
    Member
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I guess I’m the only one, but I would invite them. He’s a close friend. Not inviting him to your wedding is tantamount to ending the friendship. Sure, she sucks, but big whoop. You’ll be so wrapped up in everything else that’s going on that you’ll probably hardly notice her. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Mexico

    I would invite them both. He’s been a close friend to you guys for a long time and it would probably hurt his feelings to be excluded from the guest list when so many other friends are invited. I don’t see it worth damaging the friendship. With so many people and so much going on on your big day, I bet you wouldn’t even notice his girlfriend. The focus will be on you, not her.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2691 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I wouldn’t invite them. Like PP’s said he is probably not going to be around after their marriage anyway, so I wouldn’t want to deal with the potential drama, especially if you don’t see him much now.

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