What would you do? Marriage License…POLL

posted 9 months ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: What should I do?
    Get a Colorado license and sign before leaving for the wedding : (18 votes)
    44 %
    Get a Colorado license and sign during the wedding in Maine : (6 votes)
    15 %
    Suck it up and get a Maine license : (17 votes)
    41 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    8099 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    co_katherine :  I’m a rule follower so I’d either sing the paperwork when we got back or have Grandma ordained. It’s actually really simple – my husband did it to marry our friends in Maine. It took him about 20 minutes and $35 online. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    2452 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Are you willing to risk the validity of your marriage?  I’m no legal expert, but I don’t think you can use an out-of-state marriage license, especially when the rules in the 2 states about who can/cannot solemnize the marriage differ.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    Is it possible to have her do the wedding but get the official paperwork done by the JOP?

    Post # 7
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee

    Eh, we didn’t even sign our license until 5 or 6 days later because we all forgot and then my brother (ordained online) remembered the night before he flew back home, halfway across the country…Seriously just had his wife and one of our friends sign as our witnesses cause that’s who was standing in the living room when we remembered, yes they were both at the ceremony, but the real point of a witness is to say it’s really you signing it. Signed, mailed, came back, no issues. I REALLY don’t believe there is any reason that you can’t sign it and send it in whenever you want. The actual ceremony part is just whatever you want it to be, people can literally just sign a piece of paper and send it in to get married, why does it have to follow the ceremony or location? Everyone makes a big deal of it, but the people who matter (the people in CO who are filing the records) DO NOT CARE. 

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee

    The validity of your marriage will never be called into question by anyone, because no one cares. The only time it would be an issue is if you or your husband questioned the validity. No one else would ever have a reason to. And once you’ve sent it in and your marriage license comes back, all is legal and recorded by the state. It really doesn’t matter how it happened, just that you both signed it and sent it. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    8099 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    co_katherine :  I think my friends needed to bring a copy of it with them when they applied or picked up their license.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3383 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would not break the rules. There are all kinds of ways this could go wrong. For example – what if one of you got sick and a family member wanted to prevent the other spouse from visiting or (even worse) making decisions?  You may not think this could happen, but you never know. Either sign and date it while in CO or go through the process required by Maine. 

    I also highly recommend getting the license where you live because you will need certified copies for insurance and stuff, and it will be much easier to get it locally.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3383 posts
    Sugar bee

    crazychickenlady :  it matters because it is fraud and could invalidate the marriage. I would not want to test it for sentimentality or the cost/effort of obtaining an online ordination.

    Post # 12
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee

    zl27 :  once it is sent in and officially recorded it doesn’t matter how it got there or what the two parties did to get it there. If both parties intended to get married and send in the signed license, how is it fraud? Another thing that no one here seems to realize is in CO you can get married without anyone being ordained or any witnesses. Like get the application and sign the piece of paper at home, by yourselves, and send it in, nothing else needed. 

    The definition of “fraud” is wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain. You’re a little off. And ridiculously intense for the question at hand. There is no “fraud” going on here.

    If they sign it the day of, in Maine, before in CO or after in CO, the license and the application are going to be the exact same. And will have the same outcome. They will be legally married in the eyes of CO and the US. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    755 posts
    Busy bee

    crazychickenlady :  Yes, it would be fraud if anyone challenged it in court–the deception is that they are signing it in Maine instead of in Colorado, and the personal gain is receiving the marriage benefits when they have not followed the rules.

    Marriage is a legal contract after all, I feel like people forget that. Legal contracts are valid if you follow the rules of the jurisdiction you are in. They are not if you don’t.

    Sure people may not find out about this if you are happily married and no one ever challenges it, but the possibility that it could be challenged in the event of something catastrophic happening (such as a divorce) still looms.

    zl27 :  I agree. I think that the more likely scenario is that if they don’t cross all of their i’s and t’s, and they end up in divorce court, one person may challenge the marriage’s validity for personal gain (such as not having to pay alimony if they were never married to begin with). I know that no one ever thinks that they would end up divorced, but some people do end up divorced. It’s not something that we can always predict. 

    co_katherine :  I would do everything by the book. So if you want a CO license, I would sign it in CO and do everything the way that CO wants it done. If you want a ME license, I would do it the way that ME wants it done.

    To me, the possibility of my marriage being ruled invalid would be horrifying, and I would do everything in my power to make sure that my marriage was valid in the eyes of the law and the jurisdiction where I got married. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2384 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    co_katherine :  We self solemnized in Colorado and sent in the marriage license, but we actually got married in our backyard in Wyoming 30 miles north of the border. To do that, you do have to lie and fill in your marriage location which must be in Colorado. It just comes down to whether that’s ok by you. There’s nooooo way they’d ever know and it seemed like a random enough detail to us that it didn’t really matter.

    The next best option is to sign it in Colorado and give your correct location. 

    I definitely wouldn’t go through the hassle of getting your grandmother ordained and doing a Maine license!!

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