Post # 1
Long story short:
I have 2 sisters (1 the same age as me and one who’s 7 years older and live in another state) who I didn’t grow up with and we’re just starting to build a relationship as adults. Of the 2, I’m closest to the one who’s my age. Over the years, our relationship has improved a little with a few disagreements here and there.
BUT, I have a friend who I feel that I have a closer relationship with who has been there for me through SO much! She’s 4 years older than me and has been that sister-figure that I’ve longed for growing up.
Do I risk hurting my sisters by chosing my friend as my MOH? I also plan to have my SIL as my Matron of Honor because she’s the only one amongst us who is married so hopefully they understand.
What would you do?
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I think it’s fine. I have seen other people do this and no one thought much of it. My Darling Husband is just an usher in his own brother’s wedding. For our wedding his brother was a groomsman, not best man. Sometime your siblings are not the ones you feel closest too.
I don’t have any sisters (my brother was an usher in our wedding) but I was pressured to make my cousin Maid/Matron of Honor since “she is family” over my best friend. Thankfully I was able to compromise and have my BFF be my matron of honor and my cousin my maid of honor. But that doesn’t always work and if I could not have done that I still would have wanted my best friend as my Maid/Matron of Honor. It doesn’t mean I value my other BMs less or my relationships with them but she is who I wanted right next to me during my wedding.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA
if your friend is who you want as Maid/Matron of Honor, have her as your Maid/Matron of Honor. I have to point out though that there is no rule that you must have a matron of honor just bc someone is married. she can just be a bridesmaid.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2014 - Twin Oaks Garden House
So im going to share a lil back story of mine and then give you advice.
I have a sister who is 11 years older then me but we are close. shes always the one I wanted to be like growing up. she was pretty, popular, played sports, and homecoming court, etc. So we did always have that big sister/little sister relationship. so we are close I talk to her almost every other day.
When it came time I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. (I am 29 and shes 40). everything was great….(oh let me throw in that I live in CA and shes in AZ)
Well then comes time to plan bachelorette and bridal shower. now my sister and I are completely different. I drink, go to concerts, bars, random road trips and vacations. She has 2 kids, total mom, doesn’t hardly ever drink.
one of my bridesmaids is a total pinterest, planner, DIY, fun loving person.
my Bridesmaid or Best Man took everything into her hands and took the lead and planned everything and gave jobs to the other girls and moms. she pretty much did the same with the bachelorette party. if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have had the fun and AMAZING parties I did. If I could go back I would have made her the Maid/Matron of Honor only because of how much she can take control of things and also she lived here in CA where I am.
so with that being said….you really should pick the person you think will do the BEST job, do things you want to do, and you trust will DO what they need to do and are able to “control” the other girls.
My Fiance had the same problem….1 brother and one friend hes known for 20 years. after much talking he didn’t pick either. He picked another friend hes known for 9 years but know he would do a Great job take care of things that needed to be done.
you need to pick the person that will help you the most and that will make your job easier. TRUST me….I have 9 days to go 🙂
hope that helped!
Post # 5
I think it’s find to put all the sisters (including your future-in-law) as bridesmaids – just tell them you couldn’t possibly choose between them.
Post # 6
Ms_Purple: theEguarantee: RedHairing: Thanks ladies!!
SoontobeMrsFisette: THANK YOU!!! You are right and you made great points. One of my biggest pet peeves with my sister is how much she back out of plans or not answer her phone when it’s time to do something. I think going with my friend as my Maid/Matron of Honor is the better choice and one that I won’t regret.