(Closed) What would you do? Please help!

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee

I think champagne flower girl dresses would look really lovely.  You could add a black sash to make them coordinate.  I do agree that black is a little too dour with younger girls.  I do think they would look prettier and more girly in lighter dresses. Since your uncle asked you nicely why not make him happy?

Post # 4
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

how about black dresses with champagne sash and tights?

I don’t see anything wrong with black dresses on a 12 or 14 yr old… 

Post # 5
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

Whether or not black is okay- the fact that your uncle wants them to wear something more ‘virginal’ is freakin’ weird.

If the other bridesmaids are wearing black, I think it’s perfectly fine for the jr bridesmaids to wear black too.  It would be a little odd for them to stand out.

I’d probably just say something like, "Dear Uncle, I would never think of firing X and Y!  They are so wonderful/special/important!  They will be such wonderful bridesmaids, but since the other bridesmaids are wearing black, I was hoping that X and Y would too.  I hope you don’t mind terribly, but I’m sure they’ll look wonderful."

Lay it on thick 😉

Post # 6
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I think that if champagne is present elsewhere in the wedding, the dresses will look fine on the bridesmaids. But so will black dresses! They’re old enough (especially the 14 year old) to rock some really fun black dresses, they won’t have to be dour at all.

I’d say let your uncle know that you really like the all-black look, that it’s actually very chic and perhaps offer to go shopping with him and the girls to find the dresses so everyone’s happy. 

Oh, and as an aside – your uncle wants them to look virginal? That’s a little weird…

Post # 7
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

i agree that there isn’t really anything trampy about black. I would email your uncle and thank him for expressing his concerns, but you feel differently. You might even want to do a quick web search for some modest, sweet black dresses for young girls. I don’t really think champagne dresses with the blacks ones is that bad, though, and vyeta7 does have a point with lighter colors are more girly.  

Post # 10
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

what is more "virginal" than CHILDREN!!!!??? I don’t get where your uncle is coming from..but you can get your way and compromise by adding color to the black dresses.

I like the sash idea from a previous poster. 

Post # 11
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I don’t see anything wrong with children/teens wearing black. But sometimes it’s easier to be accomodating to strange requests to save the stress. Pick your battles, you know?

You know your uncle best – is it worth reasoning with him (or just putting your foot down)? Or can you mother/father or grandparents talk to him about it? Was he making a suggestion, or does this really matter to him? If it’s a sincere concern or if you feel that standing up against it would cause undue angst, then file this under "weird" and comply by letting them wear dresses in another wedding color. It won’t look weird to have Jr BM’s in a different color; I’ve seen it many times before.

Post # 12
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Champagne dresses with black sashes/ties would look wonderful. As a mother, I would be a little bummed if my child was asked to wear black. That being said, the 14 year old probably already wears it. The 12 year old might not, so I would put them in champagne dresses with black accents. 

Post # 13
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think the pics from the Knot bio are great. I think it looks nice.

Post # 14
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

If you really want the black and end up caving you’ll only regret it later.  Go with the girls in black.  At that age, black is fine, younger I could understand.  A girlfriend did the same thing, and the 12 year old jr. bridesmaid’s godmother threw a fit and pressured the in-laws until they pressured her to change the dress.  She let them do a white dress with black accents and she hates every picture – not the girl, just the dress.

Post # 15
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Well, my first question is: What’s your color scheme?

You’re having black dresses, but what are the other color(s) in your wedding? Champagne and black? B&W?

I love the champagne with black sash idea. They’re young girls, keep it light. It will photograph best if you have a little bit of contrast in your bridal party. Especially if it’s a winter wedding. All black can turn into a big black blob in photos real fast. The girls in champagne and black will give your photos better depth.

Post # 16
Member
33 posts
Newbee

Obviously, everyone has a different opinion on this!  I would suggest this: have the girls wear a black dress with a sash to match the mens neckties and/or waistcoast.  Sashed dresses are very "virginal" and by not having them in unrelieved black hopefully your uncle will calm down.  He’s probably hearing "black cocktail dress" on his baby girls and panicking that they’ll look all Sex-and-the-City!  Seriously, do what you want. It’s your wedding!

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