Post # 17
Well how about a shopping session with the mother of the girls, and look for black dresses, black dresses with white or champagne straps, black dresses with white or champagne dots, etc. Something that would light up the dress a bit maybe.
Get the mother of the girls involved, women are known to be able to change their husband’s opinion so… Get her to help you out and ask her opinion while bringing her to the shops.
Post # 18
One thing that I’ve found about wedding planning: men speak up about things they don’t have a CLUE about. Dads are also really funny about not wanting their girls to grow up, and it sounds like this is that kind of situation. I agree with MrsFroggy — moms are a bit more clued in when it comes to this kind of thing, so see if you can talk to her. And what about asking the girls themselves? Can you imagine a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old girl whose dad won’t let them wear black dresses — it’s the ultimate underhanded way to GET him on board, as he won’t want to have to deal with their whining! At least, that’s the way it worked when I was 14. =)
Post # 19
Thanks for the good advice, everyone. I ended up telling my uncle my feelings on the issue, but left the choice up to him. That sounds passive-agressive and perhpas it was…eh. Anyway, there’s an update that I find quite interesting. Apparently the girls’ mom (my aunt) took them shopping and got them BLACK STRAPLESS BUBBLE DRESSES. Um, think he’s gonna flip out? Does he even know? I just hope I don’t get pulled into any drama. Do they even communicate at all? It is now officially not my problem…I am going to get them some champagne sashes, I think that’s a good way to bring in a little lightness. I don’t know about the strapless though…
ETA: I do think black strapless bubble dresses are adorable–my bridesmaid is wearing one…but she’s 26. I’m just stressing because I’m afraid that I’ll get blamed for what will be percieved as inappropriate skin-showing.
ETA part 2: Uncle knew they were getting black dresses. I just don’t know if he knew they were getting strapless (SATC style, perhaps) dresses.
Post # 20
Virginal? WTF? Are they not allowed to wear black at all? It’s a color holy crap not a chasity belt.
Anyway….my Jr Bridesmaid is wearing pink, my maids in black. My flower girl is tying it together with a pink sash on her dress to match the Jr. I let the Jr pick her color, b;ack or pink just because either way it was fine for me…
Sounds like you have itall sorted, but I just wanted to let you know that mine look good set up together with different colors so you should have what you want and that your uncle should mayeb chill a bit. IMO of course.
Post # 21
All of my girls are wearing a black dress (that aren’t going to match – I just told them to get a black dress) and my flower girl/jr bridesmaid is going to wear a black dress with a white dress to contrast my white dress with a black sash. I’m so excited to see how it’s all going to turn out. Five more weeks and I’ll know!
I’m glad to hear that it’s officially not your problem anymore. You gave them the option and they went with what they wanted! yeay for no more stress in that area!
Post # 22
I think the black dresses would look lovely as well! But if it is such a BIG problem for your uncle have the girls in champange dresses with black ribbon around waist and or accents of black to make them tie in. I think the black would look better however.
To your uncle I would say:
I understand where you are coming from and I also would never reconzider or ‘fire’ … and …. I am so excited to have them participate on my wedding day. I think the black dresses would suit my wedding better then the girls in champagne. I am however letting them girls pick their dresses out and I would hope that makes it a little more comforting to you. I hope you understand and i am sure they will look wonderful!
Thats what I would do
Post # 23
i do think strapless is a bit too mature for 12 and 14 y.o. they can wear them elsewhere, but at a wedding, it may be a bit much. just my two cents. but i’m sure when they stand in with the entire bridal party, it will look fabulous.
Post # 24
Just to clarify, the OP said she *wouldn’t* have them wear strapless… she was fine with any style/neckline/sleeves as long as it was black.
Post # 25
GorgesViola is right, I did say that–but then that’s what my aunt chose! Probably unbeknownst to my uncle, which is why I can envision some drama unfolding, hopefully which will NOT involve me. Honestly if they were my kids I wouldn’t get them strapless, but they’re not my kids so…not my problem. It will be very interesting to see if they do wear strapless after all…if they end up wearing champagne, I’ll give them some black sashes and I think that will be fine. Although my uncle seemed to have come to terms with black. We shall see.
Thanks for the good advice everyone!
Post # 26
oops, sorry!!! I totally missed your update. Wow, that’s pretty much hilarious.
What about champagne-colored shrugs or something, if you’re not comfortable w/the strapless thing?
Post # 27
Ooh, shrugs, that’s a good idea! Thanks. I’ll definitely suggest it if it becomes an issue…