(Closed) What would YOU do? (vent/advice please!!!!)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would definitely stay quiet.  If he is actually planning something, he will be annoyed that you can’t trust him, and knowing your partner trusts you is a big thing.

By talking, then you will have taken matters into your hands and will never know if he would have done it without you pushing and will always feel a bit insecure.

Don’t panic, let him do his thing, and if nothing happens in March, don’t burst on April 1st.

He says it’s coming, so in the meantime, try to do other things to keep you busy and keep your mind off it. See Mr. Bee’s plan.

Post # 5
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would definitely be open with him about getting your parents together. You could just preface it with saying “I was talking to my parents the other day and they said they would love to meet yours, soon!” Something like that, so maybe it looks like your parents are the instigators if you’re worried about him being put off by you suggesting it. Otherwise, I see absolutely no problem with bringing it up and wanting them to meet!

Post # 6
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

No problem! Glad I could help.

Post # 7
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’d say stay quiet. Usually guys have tricks up their sleeve and they do want to make that day memorable. Especially when you are waiting and waiting! The best thing to do is not to rush a guy cause that usually makes him wait longer so then it feels like it was his decision and really wants to make you feel special. Hang in there, if it doesn’t happen when you talked about it with him, well then it may be time to have a discussion and figure out priorities.

Post # 8
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

could you talk to him to start planning the parent meeting in march? i don’t think that’s really pressuring or anything. you could say it in a way like you want your parents to meet too or that you want to get your schedule for march straight.

Post # 9
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

For now, give him some credit. Maybe the wheels are seriously turning up in his head! 🙂 If he deviates from the approximate plan, then you can have a (calm) chat with him about whether your/his timeline has changed. But till then, continue to be your loving and supportive self and just the kind of woman he wants to marry. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Your parents have not met in the 5 years that you’ve been dating? 

Post # 14
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Sorry, I’m still trying to understand everything.  You are both Persian?

Post # 16
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Maybe he’s nervous HIS mother will start somethign when both sets of parents meet up?  

If it were ME (granted, I’m uncoventional and go against just about everything ‘traditional’, complete with wanting a black & cream (think skin-tone color) with silver embrodery wedding gown), I’d kinda mention the idea that the New Year is coming up and your parents want to celebrate with his… (Okay, so it would probably be a bald-faced lie, but I’m sure if you mentioned it to your parents, they would go along with the idea… hopefully…) 

The only other option is maybe voice a concern that you’re nervous about the parents’ first meet-up and are worried that his mom might try to stir things up.  Tell him you know you’re probably over-acting and paranoid, but you really wanted to voice it.  Apologize for it, if he seems like he’s going to blow his stack.  Mention her behavior to begin with as a basis for your concern and paranoia.  It’s possible you voicing this concern might bring out the reason why he keeps putting it off.

Other than that, you’re just gonna have to keep quiet.  

good luck!!!!

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