(Closed) What Would You Do?? – Wedding Attendance Dilemma

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

same thing happened to me. The man you described is my high school sweetheart. i was invoted to the forst wedding too. He left her with 3 kids and while she was 8 months pregnant with the 4th. AND he signed off his rights to his own children, never seeing them again and moved to another state. Same thing, how he cut off ties with his fam who were appalled with what he did. As am I. My choice was to give him love and support and not judge him, he has gotten enough of that from his fam. I left it to his mother to tell him how messed up it was, and I never ever commented on it. I was just a friend. thats my story. He was thetre for me through so much in my life for over a decade after we broke up. I dont think anyone can tell you what to do…I wouldn’t see it as you supporting a marriage that hurts his kids, i’d see you as being a really big person and a really good friend. thats just me though.

Post # 4
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

hubbys friend married a woman we all didnt think he should marry but we attended the wedding and hoped for the best.  when it failed (within 12mths) we were there for our friend  – sometimes you have to let your friends make their own choices and be there for them when they need you

also you really dont know what goes on in a relationship and maybe its not as bad as you think it will be – im pretty sure some of hubbys friends say some choice things about my take no prisoners attitude but they dont know what im like when its just “us”, im really quite a nurturing pussy cat in private

Post # 5
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would attend to support my friend even if i was not thrilled about who he/she was marrying.  he’s gotten a lot of grief from his family and like you said, you didn’t feel it was your place to say how you feel about his future wife.  maybe it will work out in the end.  if it doesn’t all you can do is be there to support him.

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