- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
So, FI and I each come from HUGE families. My mom has 7 siblings, and his parents were divorced and are remarried. His mother (who sadly is deceased) has 9 siblings with countless nieces and nephews, his father has 5 siblings, and his step-mother (who we see often and her family often has 8 siblings. Incorporate our friends as well, and our guest list is at a staggering 230 people!
FI and I have a 1.5 year old daughter, we have both been working full time, own a home. I have since taken on a second job to help finance the wedding, and OH has been doing side work (he is a mechanic). We are exhausted, and pretty much only see one another in passing.
Ever since I have returned from work after maternity leave, I have missed spending time with my daughter. I have a strong dislike for my full time job, it is boring, low paying and half my wage goes to daycare. Then my part-time job opportunity came up, it was in my field of study and a new opportunity- I was also in need of extra money for our wedding, so I took it.
I have booked the photographer, our bridesmaids have bought their dresses, my dress is on order, the venue deposit has been paid (500$) and our wedding is a year away. My parents are paying for almost half, but that still leaves us a year to save $9000 which is $750 a month.
We have toyed with the idea of only inviting family we have seen in the last year, to help keep costs down. I hate the thoughts of inviting some aunts and uncles from one family, and not others. But there are legitimately aunts and uncles we haven’t talked to in 3 years! Should they be included on the list? Should we feel guilty for not including some?
FI says we should take our immediate family, bridal party and rent a place for the weekend. I am not opposed to this idea, however my mother thinks I may regret not having my aunts and uncles there. I see them a few times a year, and as a girl my dream wedding did always include them. Will I regret not having them at my wedding for the rest of my life? My mom’s side of the family has only ever had the “big wedding”, I love them and would feel sad they couldn’t be there…
But here is my true dilemma. I LOVE being a mom, and I MISS being with my daughter. My part time job pays more, provides me with more opportunity and I often fantasize about only working part time to be a Mom more. Because of the wedding I am working both jobs, but if it weren’t for the wedding I could move to part time and have more time with my daugther. I just don’t want to have a lifetime regret of not having a wedding I had always dreamed of. And so I am stuck!
Work my butt off for a year to have a huge wedding
Have a small wedding and get to work part time, but possibly regret this choice.
I am so torn! What would you do?