Post # 16
It sounds like you really have negative feelings associated with the ring. If that’s the case, you need to examine whether you want to redesign it into anything. I personally don’t think the ring looks at all like an engagement ring unless it is worn on the left ring finger; it passes as a nice cocktail ring. But even after the redesign and over a decade, you still hesitate to wear it, so I’d sell it, take the loss and move on.
Post # 17
It would make a great graduation gift for a young woman you are close to, if there is, or will be one soon. Not your own children, but your BFF’s daughter, or the like. That’s what I’ve done with jewelry from exes in the past. I have one more piece that I’m waiting for a bat mitzvah for (another two years).
Post # 18
Personally, unless the center diamond is of good quality (lab graded at a minimum, preferably by GIA or AGS) and large enough, I’d sell it the ring as-is. Resetting small melee is usually cost prohibitive.
Post # 19
I’d just sell it. Doesn’t seem like you’re too excited about any of the options so I’d avoiding spending more money repurposing it into something that you might not even wear too often anyway.
Post # 20
I’d take it to a pawn shop and see what I could trade it for… turn someting from the past into something new(er) for the future!
Post # 21
If you actually like the jewelry that you’re thinking of designing with it, then go for it! No one else is going to really notice. I think the earing idea is really cute, and it’s totally normal to have more than one pair of earings. You can still wear the ones from your in laws some of the time.
BUT, if you’re just recasting the stones so as not to ‘waste’ them, but aren’t actually that excited about the jewelry – I’d just sell the ring. It would be more of a waste to redesign them and then just have those pieces sit in your closet as well.
Post # 23
In the pics of the necklaces, they have stones that are probably smaller than your center stone. I have no idea of the size but it looks larger than a 0.03 carat to me.
This is a Tiffany by the yard 0.03 and 0.07 carat necklace in a bezel setting. They’re small and dainty, but do have a presence.
Though I do acknowledge that that may not be your style and that is totally okay! If it’s not, then definitely ignore this suggestion.
Honestly, if you like it as a ring, I’d just wear it as a right hand ring (assuming you and your fiance are okay with that). I don’t think it would look like an engagement ring on your right hand. I see many women wearing diamond rings on their right hand.
But if you are not okay with wearing the ring and don’t like other options, then I would say sell it. Even if you get a fraction of what the ring is worth, you can put that toward something you do like instead of having a ring that you don’t wear taking up space 🙂
Post # 24
That’s such a great idea, actually! It’s a good way to give a piece of jewelry that you won’t wear anymore new life 🙂
Post # 25
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
it does have presence! It’s delicate and pretty, I like the bezel a lot, I think.
thank you for your responses everyone. I’ll have a think. I would like the jewellery I’d get out of it but might feel guilty or uncomfortable wearing it. I’d prefer my partner to buy me the pair I wear every day.
I think it served its purpose when it was originally remodeled, it made me feel good and brought me happiness, but now I think it might be time to sell it on to someone for whom it can do the same.
Post # 26
Definitely think if wearing them would make you feel bad you should sell or give away. Just curious, what about wearing them makes you feel guilty or uncomfortable? Even after it’s been turned into other jewelry.
Does it remind you of him? Do you think about him while you wear them? Do you feel guilty that you’ve been in a past relationship? Does it make you uncomfortable that someone else has bought you jewelry?
Post # 27
For things like this I prefer to think in terms of “gain” rather than “loss.” We all know that jewelry is not a financial investment. We never get our money back out of it. The money you spent on the redesign is gone. Be careful not to get caught in the sunk cost fallacy on a ring: “I invested so much on the redesign, I have to salvage this.” I would consider that, in your shoes, I am gaining nothing from the ring as-is since the design doesn’t appeal to your tastes and has negative association. The negative association complicated the likelihood of a redesign paying off in the form of compensatory joy. I doubt you will truly enjoy anything that could/would be made from the materials and any use of the items would be owed to a sense of duty to put the investment to use. “I spent the money so I have to wear this.” In this case consider that someone else might enjoy the piece as-is. It would be their gain to get a ring that suits their needs at an affordable price as pre-owned jewelry. The situation then becomes a matter of allowing to become available for someone else’s joy. Pricing takes care of that. Too low a price will land in the hand of bargain shoppers who want to resell but may just let the ring collect dust. The right price is for someone who likes the ring enough to meet the price. Too high, the ring doesn’t sell and there is no gain for anyone. So, I view pricing as a filter to get the ring into the right hands (we can hope the buyer knows their own tastes). But I would not price to compensate myself for the previous financial investment. You can’t get that back so it’s just irrelevant….In summary, I think you’ll be happier if you sell this ring. It’s currently a psychological burden to you.
Post # 28
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
I have ruminated on this and it’s quite difficult to really articulate how this makes me feel. Wearing it brings up a lot of thoughts and emotions I had at the time. I don’t feel guilty about having had a relationship – but I do question my judgement in that one, which is an uncomfortable thing to reflect on, and the ring is a physical item which is the trigger for that.
In addition to that, my fiance is so much the better man in every conceivable way – he is everything the person who gave me the ring is not, and any expensive jewellery I wear which people might say, ‘oh those are lovely earrings’ or whatever about – should be from him, or a dozen other places, but not from this person.
I think you are right. I think it is a psychological burden – a mental tie which I no longer want to have. The money I spent to remodel it was well worth it at the time and I loved the ring when I wore it, but going into my marriage still having it in a drawer – doesn’t feel right. I think it’s time to find a new home for it with someone who will love it and maybe otherwise couldn’t afford something so nice. I will have to see how I can arrange that.
Post # 29
Personally I’m not sentimental, so I’d wear it as an occasional right hand ring. If you feel bad about that, maybe leave it and as is and consider giving it to your mom or another close family member? I think the diamonds are too small to be worth the expense and hassle of reworking them into another setting, and I think the beauty of the ring is really in the setting and the way the diamonds are designed with the metal. Personally I don’t like the look of micro-jewelry, but that’s just me – really tiny pendants and studs tend to look insignificant on me, and I’m not a big person.
Post # 30
To me you sound like someone who connects feelings with objects, and I am the same exact way. Even everyday household things that I somehow inherited from an ex hold too many old feels and I have purged a lot of that as a result. My vote is that you sell the ring. Even if you don’t get as much as you want from it, you can take that cash and put it towards something that will bring joy to you in a much healthier way. It’s not unhealthy to keep it, if that’s what you choose. But if it brings weight to your heart/mind at all, it’s not worth having around. That’s just my two cents! Good luck with your decision.