(Closed) What would you expect a stay at home Mom to do?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: What should a stay at home Mom be doing?
    All the cooking, cleaning, and child care on weekdays and week ends. : (16 votes)
    7 %
    All the cooking, cleaning, and child care on weekdays only and share the duties w/ husband week ends : (120 votes)
    55 %
    Always share duties with husband when husband is present : (83 votes)
    38 %
    Other explain below : (1 votes)
    0 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3226 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I chose option B.

    Not that I know from experience, but I would suspect being a stay at home Mom is stressful. Taking care of the kids, plus cleaning and cooking daily is a lot of work – that’s a full time job on its own.  So I think being responsible for it Mon – Friday alone is fair (except of course I would think once Dad comes home, he should spend time with the kids too and help a bit). 

    On the weekend though, the husband should help out just as much as the wife – unless he works 7 days a week or something..which would suck.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1614 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I work in the ER three days a week, I do 100% of the “girly” chores…cooking, cleaning, laundry, you name it…He is responsible for all the manly duties; killing bugs, lawn care, lifting heavy things, taking out the trash, fixing stuff, opening jars, going downstairs if I hear a noise…and he pays all the bills and house expences, except groceries, which is mainly my department anyways….all I ask of him is that he cleans up after himself and doesn’t make my job harder…and vice versa…I don’t turn the air down to 60 and leave for a 12 hour shift, and he takes off his shoes when he walks in the door, and doesn’t drag mud/dirt all over the place…etc. We’re both happy that way, but we’re old fashion, and you have to do what works for you…Honestly…if we had wee ones running about, I would just hire someone to come once a week and take care of everything for me…Its totally worth it, but for right now its just us. 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    14656 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I vote all the cooking and cleaning on weekdays, and shared childcare anytime he is home because I think he should be as active in the childrens life as possible and to give mom a little break.  I don’t have children, so I can’t really say how much work a child is, but I work full time and hate having to come home, then cook dinner and clean up before getting to relax. I think (correct me if I’m wrong) that if I were to be a Stay-At-Home Mom there would be some sort of time during the day to prep dinner and house keep a little while the kids are down for a nap or something. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I am a stay at home Mom. My Fiance works long hours in the summer. Some weeks even Saturdays. I do expect him to help me on weekends (I too need a break). At night, depending on his work schedule, he will spend time with our daughter giving her a bath and every single night he puts her to bed. Even though I voted for option 2, I also do option 1, and option 3. It all depends on the moment. He too leaves me a mess after cooking. It’s a man thing lol

    Post # 6
    Member
    1614 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I work in the ER three days a week, I do 100% of the “girly” chores…cooking, cleaning, laundry, you name it…He is responsible for all the manly duties; killing bugs, lawn care, lifting heavy things, taking out the trash, fixing stuff, opening jars, going downstairs if I hear a noise…and he pays all the bills and house expences, except groceries, which is mainly my department anyways….all I ask of him is that he cleans up after himself and doesn’t make my job harder…and vice versa…I don’t turn the air down to 60 and leave for a 12 hour shift, and he takes off his shoes when he walks in the door, and doesn’t drag mud/dirt all over the place…etc. We’re both happy that way, but we’re old fashion, and you have to do what works for you…Honestly…if we had wee ones running about, I would just hire someone to come once a week and take care of everything for me…Its totally worth it, but for right now its just us. 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If I end up being a Stay-At-Home Mom I will expect that my husband and I will share duties when he is around. Just because the husband has a full time job doesnt mean he is excused of household/childcare duties during weekdays. Considering being a Stay-At-Home Mom mom is a lot of work, is very stressful, requires long hours and a lot of energy I think it’s only fair that both parents share the duties when both parents are around.

    Post # 9
    Member
    46 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Eeek…all the what??? I am quite lucky as we have a cleaning lady once a week, and my hubby cooks twice a week as well. I do the main bulk of the baby care but when my hubby gets home he does the diaper changes and entertains the baby.

    I guess each couple and set up is different, but many of my friends have help, usually with cleaning and I have to say if you can afford it, it is money well spent.

    Post # 10
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think option 2 is the most realistic one with a little of option 3 thrown it. Its not that he won’t help out here and there on weeknights too, I will just feel like it more my responsibility.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I do it all cleaning wise, no help! Dirty Delete is 99% me. Darling Husband often cooks for me though.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It has always made me crazy that there is such a division when it comes to who does what in a family. What’s even worse is when women say ‘he helps me with the kids’ or he ‘helps me when he can’ or ‘he watches the kids while I get my nails done’. As far as I’m concerned, these children and the house belong to BOTH of you, and as such, you should BOTH be responsible for everything together.

    In our house, after my Stay-At-Home Mom days were over, whoever got home from work first (him, at 4PM) made dinner. How stupid is it to wait for the other spouse to get in at 6:30 and THEN start dinner? I’d want to seriously choke my husband if he was sitting around relaxing and waiting for everything to be done for him.

    My vote is #3

    Post # 13
    Member
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I plan to be a stay at home mom for at least part of our future children’s lives (probably just when they’re babies/toddlers), and I can tell you right now I will NOT be shouldering sole responsiblity of all childcare, cleaning, cooking, and other chores.

    I feel like raising children is just as much a job as any job my husband will have, so why should I be the one to do everything even after he comes home?  I don’t think it would be very fair for him to sit around on his ass when he comes home while I never get a break from my job.  We will split all cooking, cleaning, and other chores after he comes home.  During the day I will take sole responsibility of the house.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I’m a WAHM and we work more along the lines of option 2 & 3… Darling Husband is a really great help, especially since I’ve been pretty sick with morning sickness lately.. and he works M-TH. Weekends we definitely share in things and some nights during the week if I’m feeling bad he picks up the slack.

    Before getting pregnant I did all the cleaning aside from putting up laundry… Darling Husband enjoys doing it and I, well, hate it! lol

    We usually share in whatever needs to be done cleaning wise & I do all the cooking. We both share resposiblity in DS and Darling Husband usually tucks him in b/c DS prefers it… lol

    I’ve always been one to think that in reality Husbands/Dads have the harder job in that they are called to provide outside the home but at the same time called to their families in the ways they need them physically & emotionally.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1239 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    No kids here. But I do know. I do all the dishes. But he vaccums. Dog hair bothers him. We have a corgi. I told him to get over that. I do the bulk of the cleaning because things like, spit on the faucet from the sink bother me. I do the laundry. I got one of those shark things for steaming in hopes he will do his own. I doubt it, he was playing his video game while I was trying to figure it out.

    But I know if there was a wee one involved, it would be me. He doesn’t do kids. 

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