Post # 1
I feel reeaaaallly bad about something that I said yesterday.
My mom wanted me to come over so I could see her in her dress for the wedding. She put it on and had me zip it up. I noticed when zipping it that it was a little snug in the back, but not too bad. So she turned around, and I admired the dress. She asked, “Do you like it?” and I said, “Yes, I do! But more importantly, do you like it?” She said yes. She asked if I thought it was too low cut, and I told her I did not. Then she said, “If you didn’t like it, would you tell me?” and I laughed and said, “Probably not!” I explained that to me, as long as she was happy with and felt comfortable in her dress, that was all that mattered. Then I reassured her that I did like it.
So she changed out of it, and we chatted for awhile about other wedding stuff. Then she said, “Be honest, what do you really think of the dress?” So I was honest, and I said, “I like it, but it does seem a little snug in the back. But it’s not so snug that it looks bad.”
Well, as soon as I said that, I felt like crap. She looked like I had just kicked her or something. So now she wants to find a new dress, and I think she feels bad. I really think I hurt her feelings.
What would you have done in this situation?
And maybe a better question – what should I do now?
Post # 3
It sounds like she might have had doubts about the dress too, but needed to hear it from someone else. Personally i prefer an honest opinion. I hate it when everyone tells you that you look great when you dont. I think you told her in a way that wasnt offensive, but was still honest.
Post # 4
You didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. Sometimes when we are put on the spot, we don’t really know what to say.
If I were you I would just call her or visit her and explain that you really do think the dress is nice!
Post # 5
It sounds like she had a few doubts and maybe just needed to hear it from someone else… most importantly, like you said, SHE should feel awesome in it, and if she doesn’t then there are tons of dresses out there to pick from.
Post # 6
@Mrs_Amanda:Ya, I was kind of wondering if that was the case, because she just kept asking me! Maybe you are right – maybe she already didn’t feel so great in it.
Post # 7
Would she be willing to wear Spanx under it? I don’t leave the house without mine on!! LOL It makes those somewhat snug garments fit just right (I’m dealing with leftover pregnancy weight, so slightly snug is any everyday affair).
Post # 8
I think she wanted her honest opinion, and glad you gave it to her!! I am always honest, and think more people should be. That’s why my bff will only shop with me and her mom, because she knows we will be honest with her no matter what
Post # 9
If she asked you multiple times I think she really did want your honest opinion. When I LOVE a dress/outfit I don’t ask for people’s opinions. Let her knwo you’re worried you may have hurt her feelings and I’m sure she’ll tell you she’s thankful for the honesty:)
Post # 10
she asked you like a million times for you to give your honest opinion. and you finally did. don’t feel bad.
Post # 11
My mom and I are honest with each other about those sorts of things so if I thought it looked snug I would definitely have told her. I think it more depends on your relationship with your mom and how sensitive she is. I know my mom would never be hurt if I said something like that in a nice way. It’s the whole reason she asks me, because she knows I will tell her the truth but not be mean about it. If your mom is sensitive or you don’t have the kind of communication where you’re honest about those sort of things then I guess it was a bit of a boo-boo. But in the end both you and her want her to look great at your wedding so if the dress wasn’t great for her then maybe it’s best that she look for something more flattering.
Post # 12
I think you did the right thing. If she kept asking I’m sure that she had reservations herself and was feeling a little insecure! It’s better that you tell her now so that she can see what she can do about it (spanx, etc.) than for her to see it first in your wedding pictures and be unhappy with how she looked.