(Closed) What would you tell a 4 year old?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not really sure what I would say to him, but I applaud you for using proper terms for anatomy with him, that’s definitely a step in the right direction!

Post # 4
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

As a step parent, I can see where you want to be careful-  my toddler daughter knew there was a place “down there” where her brother would come through.  That’s one of the ways we introduced the concept of “private” areas to her. 

Post # 5
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Do you have a good relationship with his mother?  Perhaps you could call her and let her know that he asking a lot of questions and she can explain it to him in a way that makes her comfortable.

Post # 7
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think I’d tell him something along the lines of, “There’s a hole in every woman that’s part of her private parts, and it’s made for babies to come out of it.”  That doesn’t seem too explicit to me, and is also clear enough about where the baby comes out and that it’s not something he should ask other little girls to see!

Post # 8
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think the book idea is a great one! There are a lot of books about becoming a big brother that he will probably enjoy.

I would also go with the vague route because most kids don’t need a ton of detail at this age. You may want to recruit the help of his mom in this case. If he knows that girls have a vagina it might be fine to say “A baby comes out of the mommy and the doctors helps catch the baby and makes sure the baby is happy/healthy” If he wants more than something about girl body parts and a baby coming out there would probably be the most you would elaborate.

Also, I know that a lot of hospitals have sibling classes or a sibling tour so you may want to look into those with your local hospital. My cousin’s daughter attended one when she was three and it was really cute and age appropriate. She received a little certificate too and felt like the proud big sis!

Post # 9
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You kind of are in a tough position because you don’t want to upset his mother. She probably has her own ideas about how she wants to teach him about things. I would stick with, “The doctor helps the baby comes out of the mommy’s body.”

I do think you or your husband should mention this to your stepson’s mom. Even if things are tense, she’d probably be grateful to know rather than you handling it yourself without communicating with her.

Post # 10
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

A pregnant friend of mine, who has a daughter that is 4 years old, has a book that talks about the baby being born through the “birth canal” and she has accepted this without asking any further questions. 

The nice thing about using the term “birth canal” is that it’s a truthful, age appropriate answer, that can be expanded upon when the child is ready to learn more specific details. 

Hope that helps!


Post # 11
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

While the mother issues may be present, I always believe it’s best to answer kids questions and not put it off. You use an answer that will satisfy them. Example, the first time my son asked how babies are made, my response was “when two people love each other.” That answer was enough for that moment.

I also think a book and “birth canal” would help as well. My daughter just turned 5 and swears she never wants to have kids because “they come from down there.” Kids! lol…

Post # 13
1103 posts
Bumble bee

I was 4 when my sister was born and don’t remember being told anything at that point (I’m not sure if I was asking questions though). However I was 6 when the next one was born and I remember Mum stocking up on books (we especially loved the cartoon one called “Where did I come from” – funny pictures of a very ordinary looking couple!) and just being honest without going into massive amounts of detail. Good luck!

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