(Closed) What would you think about big ticket gifts?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: How would you feel if your SO surprised you with an expensive gift?
    I'd be a little upset he/she didn't talk to me about the price : (5 votes)
    28 %
    I'd be upset period : (1 votes)
    6 %
    I'd be thrilled! : (12 votes)
    67 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Fiance and I have joint/seperate checking accounts.  We have a master checking for bills, and a shared savings, but seperate (linked) checking accounts.  We divide whatever is left after bills and savings, and put it in our seperate accounts.

    If he were to make a big purchase, I wouldn’t know.  But we always set limits on how much we can spend on each other – I would feel bad if he bought me a diamond necklace and I bought him an XBOX game, LOL!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1645 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Darling Husband and I don’t really do big ticket items. I don’t like or wear jewelry, and Darling Husband isn’t into any really expensive hobbies where I’d be buying him gifts that were over $100. The most expensive thing he bought since we were dating, besides his couch and TV when we were like a month in was his PS3. He worked very hard for the extra money and bought it.

    Typically we are both more frugal and would rather save than spend. We tend to have the mindset that if we need it, we discuss it together and buy it, as it’s usually something for the house or that we’ll both use. We don’t share bank accounts right now, so theroretically he could buy me something expensive without me knowing, but I think he knows I’d be upset if he did. We don’t usually splurge on big things for gifts.

    Post # 5
    Member
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    They’re awesome. I like them. Fiance and I exchange gifts for Xmas, Birthday and Anniversary. We have our join accounts for bills and gifts are from our personal account so it doens’t feel like we’re buying gifts for ourselves (at least that’s how I rationalize it).

    Post # 6
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We discuss it. We set budgets this year for how much we could spend because he wanted to do the surprise thing, but mostly we just shop together. I would be upst, however, if he just up and bought something expensive without telling me because I manage the joint account and keep tabs on it. He usually only has a vague idea of what is going on. Good thing I have the only debit cards and he can’t keep track of a checkbook to save his life! 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think I would be a bit upset but I tend to be the more frugal one in the marriage. This Christmas, we decided to get each other a trip. We didn’t specify if we would each suprise the other with a weekend away of if we would combine forces and do a week somewhere more exciting. I’m actually debating if I should bring up the topic or just give him a coupon for a weekend in X.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We have only joint accounts, so I guess theoretically I would know…but I don’t really check our accounts regularly. I would probably be okay with the fact of spending the money, but upset if I didn’t spend an equivalent amount of money. For instance, this year’s budget is $200, but it’s my birthday coming up as well, AND he just got his bonus, so he’s hinted that it’s going to be something big. As long as the big part is my birthday present and not my holiday present, or they’re combined, that’s fine 🙂 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If we need a big ticket item, we discuss it & budget accordingly.

    For christmas we come up with a game plan, and this year it was: One big gift (150$-200$ range) and 2 or 3 smaller gifts (20-60$). And then we spend accordingly. I don’t think Fiance could ever truly surprise me with a big ticket gift – we combined ALL of our income & I do the budgeting!

    Post # 10
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    We have some separate funds so if Darling Husband feels the need to spend lavishly on me, he can. But he’s an awfully practical guy–i imagine the next ‘big’ item i’ll get will be a push present type of gift. He just isn’t a gifter and that’s no problem for me. If i knew there was something he really wanted and it was expensive, I’d save up for it as a big surprise. I LOVE giving gifts that you know the recipient will love and be completely surprised by. But I’d be upset if he spent significantly more than a predetermined budget (say, for Christmas)

    Post # 11
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I love big gifts!  🙂  I love to give them!  I love to receive them!  Haha – I’m a spender…it’s not my best attribute.  But Fiance and I have only combined our finances for the purpose of paying utilities, groceries, and occassionally a dinner out.  But other than that, everything is separate.  The only time we discuss it is that we don’t want one of us spending a fortune on the other, while the other is frugal for Christmas.  That would end up making someone feel sad!

    Post # 12
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    We’re both over-gifters, and we’re both smart with money (mostly). I could totally see me surprising him with an expensive gift if I felt we could afford it and I know he wouldn’t be upset. Same goes for him. If he buys me something big-ticket I trust that he did it in a way that we can afford and I’ll be excited and grateful for whatever it is. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We’re both very frugal, but I believe that Christmas and birthdays are the time to get big ticket items. We’ll save up for it, but jewelry, crystal and vacations are common gifts. We have separate credit cards so that the other wouldn’t find out. I mean I guess it’s what you define as a big ticket item. To me, as long as it’s under $500, it’s okay. A 20k car is not okay. lol

    Post # 14
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We set budgets for our gifts to one another so if the “big ticket gift” fits within the budget, awesome!  This year for X-mas, we’re each spending a total of ~$350 on each other and that has to include 5 gifts.  We don’t specify if that has to be 5 $70 gifts or 1 $300 gift with 4 $13 gifts.  Budgeting within the overall budget is totally up to the purchaser.

    Although all our our accounts are joint, we still have separate credit cards (makes doing his expenses for work way easier).  So it is really easy to buy things for each other without the other person knowing exactly what was spent where.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    we set a budget for gifts!

    Post # 16
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @soonerpsych: I agree with this. What we usually do is set an amount that we will spend on each other. It can be one gift or several gifts but well say we have no more than “x” amount of money to spend on one another. Any big purchase we discuss together. There might be something we buy that is a gift to both of us but we wouldnt surprise the other with some really expensive thing!

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