Post # 32
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
First, I like both of your dresses. I prefer the “ceremony” dress because it’s more wedding-y, but both are beautiful.
However, I do think changing is silly on the whole. Not to say I would judge a bride for changing or think it was “over the top.” In my mind, you spend so much for a dress and it is so unlike anything you will ever wear again, why not get as much wear-time as possible? Why buy a dress just for the 45 minute ceremony? Maybe if, like a PP said, the ceremony dress in itself was over the top and grand and gigantic, I would understand wanting something more flowy and easy to move in for dancing. But I can’t imagine wanting to change out of my (future) dress. Likewise, I think your ceremony dress would be fine for both the ceremony and reception. It’s very elegant without being prohibitive of movement.
But you already have both of them, so if you love both, go for it. Why not? It’s your wedding! I do have to say, I adore your second dress as just a dress… I would shorten it knee length or so after the reception and wear it as a fancy dress! I’m a sucker for anything with a natural waist and cap sleeves!
Post # 33
Member
2947 posts
Sugar bee
Its your day so go for it! When will you ever be able to get away with it again?
I love both of your dresses:)
Post # 34
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
Who cares?!! I have changed outfits for other people’s weddings at which I was a guest. So if the bride wants to change multiple times at her wedding, I say huzzah. I’m all about comfort when it comes to truly enjoying myself, and that first dress doesn’t look very suitable for dancing outside.
Pearl-clutchers will always find something to clutch their pearls about, and if you get too caught up with what they deem acceptable, you’re unlikely to have the wedding you want.
If someone actually says something to you, or you feel that self-conscious about changing, then here are some options:
- punch them in the throat for daring to be that brazen about the wedding for which you (and/or your family) paid good money
- ply them with [more] alcohol so that they’re too ~happy~ to snark about petty crap (a task better left to a minion Bridesmaid or Best Man, of course)
- venemously tell them that it’s your party and you can change if you want to (or they can rather kindly GTFO)
- politely explain that you wanted to wear something flowy and comfortable in which to to dance the night away with your new spouse!
- combine any of these that you see fit 😀
Post # 35
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
It might look pretty crazy and extravagant if you’re a middle class person who buys two gowns at the normal retail price, but I think it makes more sense if you’re doing the replica dress thing. I spend less on my two replica dresses than many people spend on one wedding dress.
In my case, I did it because I wanted a very nice dress for the ceremony (in a design that I believe my fiance will like) and then a fun, frivolous dress for dancing (in a design tht I think I like more than my fiance will 🙂 ).
In some cultures, it’s normal for weddings to involve multiple dress changes. If you can afford it, why not?
I always say that if you feel guilty about being extravagant by getting two dresses, donate at least one of them to a charity thrift store or Brides Against Breast Cancer after your wedding so your purchase can help someone.
Post # 36
Member
2842 posts
Sugar bee
@MlleFabuleux
^^ What she said.
I think the two-dress thing is extravagent when it’s unnecessary. But I don’t think that is the case here. The first dress looks like it would be heavy and uncomfortable to dance in, so it makes sense to have a second, especially when both were less than the budget for one dress.
Post # 37
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
@EnglishWifey: I really like the first dress. I would rock that dress all night. The second dress is nice, but not half as stunning, glamorous or “bride-like.” That’s just my opinion 🙂
Post # 38
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee
@EnglishWifey: It’s your wedding, wear what you like! I don’t think two dresses is extravagant, it seems to be becoming the norm these days. As PPs have noted, in some cultures multiple outfit changes are expected – at Chinese weddings it’s not uncommon to see brides (and grooms) have four or five outfit changes. Personally I love the spectacle of different dresses at weddings, it keeps things interesting. I will be doing 2-3 different dresses at my wedding.
PS – love your reception dress, the Reem Acra Angelhair style is one of my faves.
Post # 39
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
Since you asked, I will be honest. I personally think changing dresses is a shame because wedding dresses are so beautiful and expensive and they have such a short life anyway, it seems a waste to enjoy them for only a couple of hours. If I were one of your guests, I wouldn’t judge you or say anything mean, but I honestly think I would be disappointed to see that the first dress had been put away for the night.
However, it’s your day and you should do what will make you most happy.
Post # 40
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’m agonising about this as well. I was very naughty and bought two. This was partly because I bought a modest dress for church. I don’t know if you’ve read any of my previous posts, but FI’s family are very conservative Catholics and I’ve been doing my best not to offend them in any way, especially because FI’s Mum has said in the past that people should cover their shoulders in church, so I bought a quite retro dress. Anyway, my ceremony dress is very heavy and will be very hot with the sleeves. If it’s a boiling day in the summer then it will kill me!
One of my BMs has asked if she can change after the meal because the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses also have a capped sleeve and she’s worried about being hot as well, so I think I’m not the only one with this issue. Obviously, I said that changing was totally cool with me.
Anyway, I’m also worried about what people will think, especially seeing as the UK is a lot more “anti-materialism” than the US. People’s answers are not really helping my worries here!
I’ve only been to one wedding where the bride wore two dresses. In her case, she also wore a long dress with capped sleeves for her religious ceremony, and then changed into a tea length, retro dress for the dancing.
EDIT: so interesting that there’s a UK anti-materialist slant informing this thread, but there is less of one on the other thread about flashy wedding rings in the UK. Is it because having a blingy wedding ring is increasingly more acceptable due to clever marketing, I wonder, but having two dresses is still taboo?
EDIT PART 2: I should also say that both my dresses are Jasmine’s replicas, because I’d never spend money on two designer dresses!
Post # 41
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
@Rachel631: I can see how needing to cover up might make changing dresses a good idea, especially if you need thick sleeves for a Catholic ceremony. As I said to the OP, it’s your day so do what you prefer in order to be comfortable. Personally I think I would wear the same dress but have a lace bolero for the ceremony or similar.
In answer to your curiosity about dresses vs rings, my opinion is based on the fact that rings are FOREVER, while a dress is for ONE DAY. Spending so much money on a dress you will wear once, and then only keeping it on for a couple of hours, just seems a waste to me. Both of the money and also of the dress’s “life” as a PP mentioned earlier. But a ring you will wear every day for the rest of your life so it’s important to get one that will make you happy every day! I should add though that I would only ever get one “wedding ring”, I don’t really understand the concept of switching wedding bands which I have seen on here, but each to their own.
Post # 42
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
I think 2 dresses is acceptable. One for the ceremony and one for the reception or dancing is a nice touch. Any more than that is excessive.
I went to a wedding last year that started at 4pm. The bride had 4 outfit changes. First, her Mum’s wedding dress for the traditional ceremony. Then a wedding dress for the signing. Then a traditional outfit for the meal and dancing. Then another outfit when she left. I hardly saw her all night because she spent so much time in her hotel room changing.
Post # 43
Member
6432 posts
Bee Keeper
I’m another two dress bride!
My ‘proper’ wedding dress is a very heavy, strapless Augusta Jones gown with an in-built steel-boned corset and a large train; my second (which is there as a back-up; I’ve never worn a dress as heavy as my wedding dress, so for all I know, I might last the night and not need to change) is a very light lace gown with lace overlay/straps and no train, and no boning.
I get what people are saying about picking a dress you can stay in all day, rather than picking one youi suspect might be uncomfortable after a while; I actually felt like this before picking my dress. For me personally, lighter dresses just did not feel ‘right’; I own and wear a lot of evening gowns, and for me, the lighter wedding dreses felt like ‘just another evening gown’; they didn’t feel different or special, and I want my wedding dress to feel both different and special.
I’m going to be in my gown from around 11/11.30am until 2-3am; ie a VERY long day. I will be wearing my ‘proper’ wedding dress until at least 10 or 11pm; the second dress is there purely as a back-up, so that if it reaches 12 and I’m starting to get uncomfortable/sore, I have something ‘bridal’ to change into, rather than changing into a tracksuit or PJs!
Do I think there might be raised eyebrows? Yup, possibly. Do I care? Nope.
Post # 44
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Audrey2: I don’t understand the concept of switching rings either. Or “upgrading”. I always think… WTF? I thought it was supposed to be a sentimental ring, given to you to represent your relationship at that particular moment in time. By all means, buy your lovely bride jewellery, but that new jewellery is not an e-ring, you know? Your original e-ring is your e-ring!
I wonder… what if a bride dyes her dress after the wedding and wears it again? Would that make a difference to your opinion? For example, I could take my ceremony dress, chop off the train, dye it black, and wear it again easily enough. I don’t go to as many balls as I used to, because I used to be associated with the military and go to military balls a few times a year, but if I did… would it still be a waste?
Of course, you could argue that ball dresses are wasteful anyway, as the chances to wear them come along so rarely, and they cost so much money! I used to get mine from TK Max in January, when they were in the sales.
Post # 45
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
@Rachel631: I think finding a way to re-use the dress is a great idea! I also think it’s slightly different in your case anyway if your first dress isn’t really what you want to wear in the first place but will make your in-laws happy. I suppose I just think it’s a shame to buy a dress you love and then not wear it for as long as possible. And I’m worried about threadjacking, but +1 to what you’re saying about you can only ever have one e-ring (although again I feel slightly differently when couples have always planned to change the stone after a couple of years).
Post # 46
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
Wow so many great ideas and opinions going on here.
I can’t really answer to all your posts but a few things I have picked up on and can shed light on:
- Yes the first dress is rather restricting when I walk and also may be a little less flattering after a 3 course meal! Dress 2 feels like I could wear it forever and a day so I think changing into it after the meal and first dance could work in my (tummy’s) favour.
- Yes the second dress is a remake of the Reem Acra dress I looove and so came in at a very reasonable price. Re-working it after the wedding is such an amazing idea! I am going to look into that. If not then donating it is another great idea, thank you.
- My bridesmaids are all having a change of dress in the evening, as do many guests who feel uncomfortable in their formal clothes. I see it as the same concept, no?
- My first dress is for the church really (though I will wear it for most of the day), I was very close to buying a low sweetheart neckline dress that was super figure hugging but really didn’t want to walk into my church in a dress I had to pour myself into. I wanted to look demure without TOO much sex appeal.
- There are people coming to the wedding that will most likely think it’s very odd. I hope it never reaches my ears but if I do sense some resentment or judgment I hope I will be too happy and content with life to even bat an eyelid
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