(Closed) What's a nice way of saying "no" to others ideas?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

“Thats a good suggestion. FH and I will discuss it as an option later”

“Thanks for the idea, but we have already decided on XYZ”

“your right, that is really lovely, but its not really speaking to me”

“That is a great idea, but I am picturing something different for myself”

Post # 4
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I always say things like: “ooh you’re right those colors are pretty…but I don’t know if they’re right for me. I was thinking this or this, that looks good don’t you think?”

Or: “Thanks I’ll keep that in mind and mull it over. But I’m not ready to decide on x yet, I’ll start looking into that in (whatever month)”

Post # 5
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

“Yeah, I’ll look into that” *change topic* 

Post # 6
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

No is honestly usually the easiest if they are being pushy, but for those people who are just throwing ideas around something like:

“That isn’t really what we were picturing for our big day”

“I’m not sure if that will work with xyz that we’ve already decided on”

“That’s beautiful, but I don’t think it will work for my vision”

Ect.

Post # 7
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you already know you want something else say “actually I am really excited because Fiance and I decided to do ….” (especially good with in-laws so they know Fiance is part of this process).   Otherwise say “I’ll give that some thought” and change the topic.

Post # 8
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yeah I had this issue too. First I tell them I will think about it but really I’m buying time to figure out a reason I have to decline the opinion

Post # 10
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m learning how to say no to people now too. I went the longest time without any support of any kind and now it’s like everyone has suggestions. 

  • That’s a great idea. I’ll keep it in mind and discuss it with FH later.
  • I’m not sure if that will work with what we’ve been looking at.
  • Thanks for the suggestion, but I don’t think it’s going to work for us.
  • That’s not what FH and I had in mind.

Most of the time I tell people that I appreciate their suggestions but that it doesn’t go with the vision FH and I have. Most of the time it works, but I have had to flat out say no. I just try to be nice about it and say “I appreciate you trying to help, but FH and I have already decided on xyz so -whatever they suggested- wouldn’t go with what we had in mind for our big day”. 

Post # 12
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@CestTresJolie14:  I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m having a nearly three year engagement, so most people barely even bat an eye when I told them. Now, I’m getting Facebook messages and emails with links to all kinds of wedding pictures with the people telling me how they’ve seen X at a wedding and I should do it too. 

Post # 14
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@CestTresJolie14:  I have my good days and bad days. Sometimes I wish I could have a shorter engagement, sometimes I’m thankful I’ve had one this long. I’m indecisive, so I image I need the extra time. 

Post # 15
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My Darling Husband finally caught on to this about a year into our 18 month engagement – “Let’s put that on the shelf.”  Basically that was my way of saying no!

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