(Closed) What's happening to the Bee?! {vent}

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 32
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@PinkPinstripes:  I didn’t find your comment mean at all. It was truthful. I DO see a lot of people getting all up in arms about brutal honesty though.

IMO most threads are kind with a good dose of honesty and snark (which I DO NOT think is usually intended to be mean, though delicate flowers may think so), and I think the ones descending into actual meanness are usually one where OP dredges it up first. There is a thread that got closed today that is case in point… OP asked for advice in the title, OP got honest opinions, OP lost her shit, people made fun of her.

Post # 33
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@greenidlady:  +1

I have yet to see anyone get bullied on here and no one come to their defense. I don’t see a culture of bullying, just a few sour grapes just like anywhere else you go, IRL or on the ‘net. I’d say this is a generally positive and uplifting site.

Post # 35
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

I’m new, and right off the bat, I saw this. A woman was asking for advice on girl names. She was looking for one that felt soft and made her think of calico dresses. Instead of contributing to the thread and suggesting a name, some one just HAD to ask why she had to have a “themed” name and reminded/informed her that it wasn’t a movie or theater production-it was real life. Wow.

Post # 36
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@Ms_Pinoy:  I so agree with you.. I see it a lot where other’s like to pick a fight for no reason.. Sometime you have to watch what you say because other people take things the wrong way.

Post # 37
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think for the most part when people here are still courteous and give support. But if you’re also asking for opinions, you need to be prepared that you may not like what some people say. Of course there’s no need to be rude, but sometimes you can interpret a person’s frank and honest response as aggressive and then the OP becomes defensive and that’s when claws start to come out. 

Post # 39
Member
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I love it here. I also enjoy some drama as well. Without cyber-drama, I wouldn’t be so hooked on the internet as a whole. Having said that, I love the bee because people on here are generally mild and courteous, and we also have “real” topic to talk about unlike any other forums.

Post # 40
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

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@Cynderbug:  well not everyone has the time to sit at their computers and comment  on everypost. we should have an introductory section just for newer people, like maybe500 or less.

Post # 41
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@sablemuse:  “I have yet to see anyone get bullied on here and no one come to their defense

So if 20 posters bully someone, and 2 come to her defense, that’s alright?

That said, I think overall Weddingbee is nicer than it was a few months ago. But there’s still room for improvement.

Post # 42
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

I think Weddingbee is a great and positive community. That being said, expecting it to be even more positive is having some pretty high expectations and those expectations will be crushed.

Not everyone agrees with everyone: fact. Some people are more sensitive than others: fact.

Some people are more careful with how they put their disagreeing point across, but others don’t truly mean any harm and their words are read in a different tone.

The first comment here being proof of that. I do think you’re being overly-sensitive to something that isn’t really an issue because 1) the minute you don’t like a comment, you can leave the page. Even if a comment is directed at you personally, you can choose to ignore it.

I am simply disagreeing with you. No harm intended. I’ve not gone out of my way to disagree with you – I’m simply sat on my sofa, drinking a cup of tea and waiting for it to be time to leave for work.

This is the internet. A place where people are allowed to say “hmmm, actually I don’t agree” and there is nothing wrong with that. If the first user here said “Stupid bitch, grow a pair” than I could see the point – but she didn’t. She simply disagreed.

Just because some people read comments in different tones doesn’t mean Weddingbee needs to be addressed. What could possibly be done to stop that? Banning everyone who says something negative?

Drama happens. People on the internet are just people. You can either choose to be a part of it, or choose to ignore it – but unless 10+ people gang up on you for absolutely no reason and cause you emotional stress in ‘real life’ then there’s nothing to be worried about.

Post # 43
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

I actually recently started a thread about ‘brutal honesty’, and a surprising number of Bees seem to think that ‘tough love’ is okay, even if it hurts people’s feelings. Luckily the majority is on your side. I’m with you 100%. The bee is changing, and I don’t like it.

Post # 44
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I joined a little over a year ago, left for a while because of school and I was a little premature in my planning, when I came back I noticed many of the responses were a bit more snarky then when I was here the first time. I chalk it up to autonomy of the internet and the group mentality. When one person is willing to voice a not so nice opinion it makes it easier for others to do. TBH that’s just the internet and I just realize that I need to grow a little thicker skin and that this is one of the drawbacks of participating in an online community. With that said, I think the overwhelming majority of the ladies on the bee are helpful, sweet, and and extremely polite so the pros outweigh the cons for me.

Post # 45
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

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@distracts:  About the brutal honesty thing, you may be surprised but most bees don’t like it. I did a poll on a thread and most bees actually seem to prefer kind yet honest responses.

Post # 46
Member
4504 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think when one is focusing on the negative aspect of this community one sees and attracts it more.

I don’t think this is a negative community. But then I don’t think it is ok when people ask for opinions and then get upset when they don’t like the responses that align with their own.

Truly, if you see something that upsets you, exit the post. If it is really bad, flag it. 

If you are no longer finding the site useful, participation is 100% optional.

 

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