(Closed) What's happening to the Bee?! {vent}

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 47
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

Ok, THANKS FOR THIS THREAD! 

 

I thought I had hit the twilight zone at one point. I posted a review about my experience with a product I received here and boyyy did the claws come out! I gave an honest review and expressed my feelings. The company responded to me and we started to work it out. I even created a thread to address issues with company service for all of the brides. Posted a disclaimer – no DEFAMING. No snarky comments or bullying… Should have been the end, right? 

 

No, they even started attacking there! However, I was contacted privately by some really nice ladies that were against the bullying. Honestly though, I did get a few laughs out of it because it was so obsurd and just OUT THERE that they behaved that way. The claws are even on this thread. >.> At the end of the day, I log off and live my life. Other people are more sensitive and hopefully the Mean Girls will grow a heart and realize that.  

Post # 48
Member
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have noticed a certain few that hop at the opportunity to pounce on someone. never fails. I like to rise above the nastiness. i’ll never understand how some people can be so mean! I HATE bullies! 

Post # 49
Member
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@krayzay87:   I knew there was a reason why I like you;) 

Post # 50
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I personally love this site, it is mainly full of lovely ladies and i have had some fantastic ideas and read some lovely stories, but yeah i have noticed some ladies are a little bit bitchy and condacending. But i have seen more good than bad on here.

Post # 51
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

I think the bee is a wonderful community 

When you really look at clashes they go both ways 95% of the time. OP is being interpreted as being horrible another poster says something that could be interpreted as being horrible and it all escalates. I have clashed with a group of people on here but Ive also been able to step back, be objective and say … well theyre just been defending their profession and leave it alone. 

Could people be nicer with advice…. yea, but I also think sometimes people could be more understanding and not so freaking sensitive. Also anything typed can come across worse that it is in real life. 

And lets be real …. this is life … we are all raised different and have different personaities, some people are direct and believe in tough love …  Some people raise their children by tough love so its not surprising that theyll bring it to the site. Other people havent experienced it and it comes across strong 

I think tolerance is the key. Not getting offended and feeling hard done by when someone says something direct and direct people understanding that sometimes they come across too strong and maybe softening it a bit. 

 

Post # 52
Member
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@leecy87:  It’s tough to not take nasty comments to heart.Especially when you are a sweet natured person.  I have seen ring threads turn into ring wars! Lol Something about bling around here makes the claws come out Haha! 

Post # 53
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I honestly don’t see that much negativity. I see unicorns and rainbows and I like it that way.  Innocent

Post # 54
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you also have to consider what a bride posted.  Last week a bride posted “Will he ruin my wedding?”  Basically Future Brother-In-Law is arriving from Afghanistan the Wednesday before her wedding and she was afraid people would put too much attention on him and he would talk about “war stuff” and make everyone feel sad.

Should she have been validated or given a reality check?

Post # 55
Member
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@hermom:  Reality check would have been in order on that thread But There are tactful ways of doing so. 

Post # 56
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

This place is 98% caring and positive and 2% snark (which can be reported). I actually find it annoying at times just how supportive it is given how incredibly selfish and ridiculous some posts are. Posts like ‘My selfish BF got pregnant and wlll be fat at my wedding, can I kick her out of my bridal party for being fat & stealing the spotlight?’ I’m sorry but those women deserve a swift kick in the arse not supportive love and positive comments. 

Post # 58
Member
9834 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I agree with you to some extent. I think overall it is a supportive, wonderful community. There are definitely times that it can get worse with negativity, but most of the time is fairly positive.

I think people should be able to give their opinions freely, even if they disagree with other posters, without people attacking them for it, or on the flip side being called a bully for giving an opinion that maybe is not what people want to hear. I also don’t like it when the OP of a thread asks for advice and gets pissed off when she doesn’t get the answer she wants. Saw a thread recently where everyone disagreed with the OP, she said some not so nice things, and decided they were all wrong. So I think it goes both ways, and while honest opinions are important, I think they can be said in a constructive way.

 

Post # 59
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@hermom:  Actually I thought that thread wasn’t nasty at all. Everyone corrected her, but no one was rude or sarcastic.

Sadly not all threads are like that.

I agree some of the ring threads are the among the worst. I tend to avoid them. But even there, I think some major troublemakers left a couple of months ago. Like I said before, I actually think WeddingBee has been better lately, but we can always improve.

Post # 60
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

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@FauxBoho:  Agreed.

I’ve been on here coming up on about 2 years, and from the very beginning I’ve seen posts like this. It’s part of human nature to be selective about the past in a sort of good-old-days mindset. We can’t help that; it’s how our mind works. Thanks to selection bias, we’ll also seek out and see the things that validate an opinion, so if we get it in our heads that the Bee has gotten ruder, it’s easy to find proof of that. We simply ignore all the nice, supportive stuff and let the rude stuff float outshine it. In reality, there is very little negativity and a lot of honest comments or come-to-reality comments are interpreted as rude, someone responds to them defensively, and then passions flare.

I know that sometimes there are more tactful ways we–and I definitely include myself in this–can phrase things and sometimes after a post is submitted and it sits there for a bit, on can see that the tone reads differently than intended, but if one doesn’t realize that within an hour… to bad. On the other hand, sometimes we need to not jump to conclusions that someone intends the worst interpretation of her (or his) comment.

Post # 61
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

I have been a member here since I first got engaged in June 2011, so I am going on 2 years as a member and this is BY FAR the nicest community I have come across on the internet.  It took me a little while to catch the swing of things and how internet etiquette works, but the jist is: some people will appreciate your approach ( whatever that may be) and some people won’t. On a site with millions of members, that is open to whoever stumbles in here, this is very friendly place. If it is bothering some to the point that they feel bullied, or clicking out of a thread simply isn’t enough… maybe being a member on an open, online forum isn’t for you :/

 

 

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