(Closed) What’s his “sorry” style?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@harleyq:  That is exactly what SO does! He’s even patted me before!

Post # 4
18 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

Well it depends on how seriously pissed I am i.e. if I am just faking it to get some attention or if I am really hurt. If he thinks I just want attention (he is usually spot on), he’d play jester – pretend to be cute or funny while saying things to flatter me. If it is something very serious, he’ll go the physical touch way – he’ll hug me burying my face in his chest and stroke my hair or kiss my forehead. He’s also brief with the words usually saying “I’m sorry” or something to that effect.


Post # 5
2891 posts
Sugar bee

I hate how my guy apologizes. He’s the “I’m sorry, but” guy. He feels I need to understand where he was coming from when he did what he did. But at that point I really don’t give a rat’s ass what lead him to believe his actions were ok and it only makes me more angry because it feels like he’s justifying his behavior and throwing in the obligatory apology for good measure. At the very very very end he’ll say I’m sorry and hug me. But I hate the buts. 🙂

Post # 6
1139 posts
Bumble bee

Well, he even apologizes if I am the one who is just mad at him for no apparent reason. He is so sweet, patient and kind and really understands that I am hyper-emotional pretty much all the time. He hugs me a lot, gives me head rubs on the couch and says “babe, I am sorry” and tells me how much he loves me. He really does  put up with a lot of my emotional crap (hes the oldest out of five) and it’s one of the reasons I love him soooo much.

Post # 7
1990 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@harleyq:  My guy has a similar apology style.  He normally either goes the physical touch route or does something silly to make me laugh, often its a combination of both.  To be honest, I don’t really like it, because sometimes I want to have a real conversation about why I’m upset, & I feel like he uses this technique to avoid conversation.

Post # 9
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

View original reply
@claireos:  This is exactly what DH does.  I’ve learned when I hear the “but” to stop him and tell him it won’t help for him to try to justify something.  

We are both pretty stubborn people so even when the apologies are said, we both are still sticking to our guns.  Really getting to the root of the problem seems to help…such as someone’s tone (DH has horrible tone!) or gesture can make a normal topic into an argument.  

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