What's in a name?

posted 12 months ago in No Kids
Post # 31
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

mrsautumn36 :  yes, there is a difference. “Childless” implies a LACK of some sort. And sorry not sorry but I’m not lacking anything by not having children. Anyone who gets offended by the word “childfree” can fuck off. 

Post # 32
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

cassandra7 :  oh how it warms to shackles of my cold heart that you brought up denotation va connotation! 

Post # 33
Member
11654 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

TheGridMonster :  seriously. Of course if one choose this, childfree is the right term. And parents shouldn’t be offended by this.

How is another persons choice offensive, unless it somehow is meant to diminish our own rights or ability to make choices, it isn’t. 

Post # 35
Member
3376 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

That dude was way off the mark and clearly doesn’t have a firm grasp on the nuances of language.

As others have pointed out, childfree and childless mean two very different things. The -free implies that one has chosen not to take on a particular thing. The -less implies that one is lacking something that they otherwise desire.

Someone like myself who does not have kids because I do not want them, is childfree.

My friends who wanted children, tried to, and were unable to concieve, are childless.

However, because of the sensitivities around infertility, I would never say “childless” to them because it basically pokes the wound by pointing out what they are lacking. I’d rather just say “they don’t have kids” and leave it at that. I think “childless” is a pretty cruel way of putting it. It boggles my mind that if someone chooses to get offended by either of these terms, it’s “childfree” that they choose to be offended by… wtf?

Post # 36
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

What a strange interaction. I, like some PPs, see “childless” as lacking something, but you have to want a child in the first place to be “childless”-for example, a couple could have difficulty conceiving, etc. but desperately want a child.  I see childfree as a “don’t want them, and happy not to have them” type of term. 

 

Post # 37
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

ajillity81 :  Yes, this is exactly how I see it!

mrsautumn36 :  This person you were talking to sounds like an asshole. I’m sorry you had a bad interaction.

Post # 38
Member
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

People are offended by everything.  Does it matter anymore?

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