Post # 1
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
Sentimental or convenience?
I can’t figure out where to have my ceremony.
My FH & I originally knew exactly where we wanted it. At his childhood church that we still go to from time to time. The location is already on our Save the Dates.
The church is where his parents and uncle got married, it’s where FH’s grandparents have been going for over 50 years. Crazy.
Its the cutest little church, prob hold 100 ppl max (now we have 140 on our list). There are some downfalls to the church such as there is no center aisle, barely any
room up front for our bridal parties to stand, my mom is upset it will be too cramped that she wont get to see me walk down the side isle.
Should we change it because of all these inconveniences ? The inconveniences make me worry & I don’t want it to look sloppy.
My FH thinks it will work out & his heart is in it.
We could get married at our reception venue. In fact, it has gorgeous grounds and would make for a wonderful garden ceremony.
There’s plenty of room, our guests wouldn’t have to travel to two different locations. Convenient. Sigh.
FH & I just thought it would be nice to have it at the church because we always go back there, it will always be there and it would be
nice to have that memory. Whereas the venue… how many times will we go back there? Prob never.
What do I do???? I’m so torn.
Post # 3
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Definitely have it at the church!
That’s were it sounds like you want it and that’s where you should make it work!
There’s no rule your bridal party has to stand up with you (what about having them sit in the front pews behind the your immediate family)? You could also just have your Maid/Matron of Honor and the Bridesmaid or Best Man stand and have the rest sit, if it’s super tight.
And, as for your mom’s view… what about having guests remain seated as you walk down the aisle?
Post # 4
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
@oracle: Thanks 🙂 that was great advice about not having everyone stand. I might be able to put “please remain seated for the bride” in the program to make that work.
Post # 5
Member
1159 posts
Bumble bee
I think church. I really enjoy when a couple gets married at a location that means something to them. It adds to it all.
I have the same problem. My childhood temple holds about 30 people and i’m inviting 200. We set up a marquee outside to hold the wedding there.
Post # 6
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
I’d like to agree with PPs and tell you to have it at the church, but your guests will not physically fit into it! So no. No way. Seriously, what would the “extra” people do? If you want them there, you gotta make room for them.
Post # 7
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@sarahbeth_: We did that and before the procession, the pastor did a general greeting and the last thing he said was something like: at the request of the bride, please remain seated when she enters.
Post # 8
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
My aunt got married in a tiny itty-bitty church that barely had room for the immediate families. It was a small wedding, so there was enough room for people who didn’t get a seat to stand at the back/in the doorway. The ceremony was only ~15 minutes, so guests weren’t just standing for hours on end.
I say go with what you want. And keep in mind that your guest list won’t be the final tally for the wedding, kids (if invited) can sit on laps, etc.
Post # 9
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
@sarahbeth_: church! make 2 guests lists, one for everything and one for reception only. that’s what I had to do and it’s worked out fine.
Post # 10
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
You have 140 on your list… how many do you actually expect to come?
If you think anywhere close to 140 will come – I’ll be the dissenter – I don’t think you should hold it at a venue that is under capacity by 40%. It’s one thing to have it a little cramped, that is just a mess.
If you think you’re only going to get a 70% acceptance rate, then yes, have it at the church. But I wouldn’t do it if you think you’re going to be over capacity.
Post # 11
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
@NAvery: Right, I understand that I do not want anyone standing outside or being cramped which is why I’m growing concerned about the church. However, the church can most likely hold more than 100 i will go back and check this weekend. We have 140 on our guest list, a good chunk of 20 live across the country so we don’t expect all of them to come. I’m estimating we’ll have 120 guests at our wedding and I don’t think all will come to the ceremony so we can knock that down as well. Does anyone know the percent of people who come to the ceremony vs just the reception?
Post # 12
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
@oracle: i like that idea. did anyone think it was weird not standing? did some people stand anyway?
Post # 13
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
I just had to comment that my name is Sarah Beth 🙂
Post # 15
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@sarahbeth_: I had seen it done at a wedding a few months prior to mind and I stole the idea because I thought it was brilliant! I’ve never liked trying to see the bride while standing…. and, while I don’t know if anyone thought it was weird, everyone complied. I’m pretty sure I got positive comments from a visability perspective. My hidden motive was wanting to zone in on Darling Husband as soon as I entered. 🙂
Post # 16
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
@oracle: Sounds like a genius idea to me. I’ll run it passed my mom — hoping she likes the idea since she is the one worried about not seeing me! I too want to see my FH immediatly and with no center aisle I’m afraid that won’t happen if everyone is standing. Thanks for being so helful.
