(Closed) What’s more important: Personal Officiant or Personal Ceremony?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: What's more important?
    Personal connection with officiant : (15 votes)
    24 %
    Personalized ceremony from relative stranger : (40 votes)
    63 %
    Door knob : (1 votes)
    2 %
    I like cheese. : (7 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Oh wait- can I vote twice? Cause I really like cheese-missed that one.

    We’re not getting married in a church (in a museum), but we’re following a religious ceremony (United Methodist) almost 100%. However we are doing the alternative vows and no religious music. 

    My hometown minister will be performing the ceremony- I wanted someone whose preaching style I was familiar with, because he will be doing a brief (5 min or so) homily.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I know a lot of my friends have 100% personalized their ceremonies and I didn’t even notice. I think whatever you do for your ceremony will only really be remembered by the bride and groom, so choose what’s important to you.

    I wasn’t allowed to personalize my ceremony at all or to even choose my recipient, so I guess neither was important to me? I liked how traditional it was.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7174 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I had a personal connection with the officiant and that’s what made it personal to us.  But, it wasn’t a cookie cutter type service – it was personalized.

    I’m not sure I could construct a personal ceremony (wording) to be read by a stranger and make it feel personal (if that makes any sense).

    The ceremony already had personal elements (from how it was constructed and things we choose to do) – (aside from the content of the actual service).

    We had many people tell us our ceremony was very intimate because they felt like they were experiencing something intimate between our officiant and us…. but, just having someone close to us read something cookie cutter wouldn’t feel right (IMO).

    Post # 6
    Member
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Can we get a both option which is what we had?

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    We didn’t know the pastor who married us until we started premarital counseling. By the time the wedding arrived, we felt close with him and he delivered a very personal ceremony (while maintaining Christian tradition, etc). So even though he was a stranger to start with, he didn’t stay that way!

    Post # 9
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We had both. My mom married us, and we wrote our own ceremony. Best of both worlds!

    Post # 10
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    @KristenGotMarried:  In your case, you need a personalized ceremony- this person shouldn’t be performing a ceremony which doesn’t reflect your beliefs.

    Post # 11
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    oh, you asked what was more important. Well, we are not religious. It was incredibly important not to have religion in our ceremony. So, it actually draws both the officiant and the ceremony into equal levels of importance, since we refused to hire a religious officiant, and wanted our own ceremony. It was $50 to have my mom do it (special CA license), so that was the best choice, vs a $300+ judge.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    To me it’s more important to have a connection to the person performing the ceremony.

    But, I can see it being more difficult to find someone you’re close to who can/will perform the ceremony than it is to customize a ceremony. Anybody can do that, and most people do–which is great. Unless you’re banned from doing that, like requirements for a Catholic church or something.

    But in all honesty, is anyone going to remember every cutesy word you said 10 years from now? Probably not. Doubtful you even will. But it’s pretty hard to forget if a close friend performed the ceremony.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    We wrote our own ceremony and had it performed by a hired officiant. It was very important to personalize our ceremony because we merged elements from my culture and his.

    Post # 14
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @KristenGotMarried: In a situation like yours, definitely having a personalized ceremony would trump being married by someone familiar. Unless that person was very near and dear to you, I wouldn’t compromise on something like my wedding ceremony. Then again, if you were that close, I would imagine the officiant would be more concerned with making you happy on your wedding day than throwing around a few “gods” here and there. 

    FWIW, we had both and it was perfect. We were married by my cousin who was ordained to marry us and we wrote our own ceremony. Best of both worlds. 

    Post # 15
    Bee
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

    For our wedding it’s more important to have a personalized ceremony than to have someone we know officiating. We hired an officiant that we don’t know, but have been able to personalize the ceremony as much as we want. For us, the content of the ceremony itself holds more value than the person performing it. But again, that’s just what matters to us. 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I like cheese

    The topic ‘What’s more important: Personal Officiant or Personal Ceremony?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors