I went to a very poorly planned and poorly executed wedding a few years ago. The invitations said that the ceremony started at 5. People showed up at around 4:45, of course. They neglected to tell anyone that there would be a 20 minute carriage ride to the ceremony site (and only one carriage) so the carriage had to make like three or four trips and the damn ceremony didn’t start until almost 6:30. The carriage had to make several trips back to the parking lot because the building/barn they had their reception in was there. Many guests just took their shoes off and walked. It was also drizzling on and off and these morons still wanted an outdoor ceremony.
The bride and groom kept their guests waiting in the reception hall while they took their stupid pictures (don’t you do that before the ceremony nowadays?) and there were no hordeourves so people just drank the hunger away, I guess. The bride and groom finally joined their own party at 8:30 and the buffet was immediately put out. Everyone ate and then the dancing started but it didn’t last long because this bumblefuck town in Colorado apparently had an ordinance about serving alcohol after 10pm. The wedding ended when it was just starting to get fun, even though I’m pretty sure that ordinance didn’t apply to private or religious events.
I haven’t seen anything that really compares to some of these stories, but here’s a couple of mine…
At a cousin’s wedding my uncles and dad re-enacted the entire “Devil Went Down to Georgia” song while drunk. Including the hickory stump. This became a family tradition at every wedding they attended. Thankfully, not mine. 🙂
At my Brother-In-Law wedding…my SIL was raised very strict catholic, and my hubby’s family is jewish. We expected a more conservative dress/wedding…but the bride showed up in this extremely short, poofy dress. As in it barely covered the important bits. Her heels were huge. Her bridesmaids showed up in equally short and skimpy dresses with huge hooker heels. It was so out of character for her and her family that I thought it was a joke…but nope. I guess now, five years later, she hugely regrets the dress and wants a vow renewal so she can get a ‘do-over’.
Oh, and she insisted on having a whole suckling pig served at their wedding…for his Jewish family…
Lastly, at my own wedding we had a jewish ceremony. Our officiant kept pronouncing the name “Yahuwah” as ” Yahooo”.
Oh man… I’m terrified of planning my wedding, and these just made me feel a bit better about things. My FIs family are all pretty hardcore drinkers (as in, they inhale whatever’s cheapest as fast as possible and need a buzz for every family event) and my family doesn’t care much for alcohol (my mom’s allergic too) and if they do drink they enjoy the fancy stuff.
Now, I’m an engineer who did some legit cometitive drinking in uni, but I grew out of it because that is just unhealthy and has a time and a place – and an acceptable age range. All I can say is that I really really hope I won’t be adding to this post with horror stories from my upcoming wedding. As in, four men over the age of 50 vomiting in the parking lot – happened at his cousin’s wedding. People drinking straight from a gallon sized bottle of vodka – another cousin of his. 3 guest proclaimed they were lost and couldn’t get home… reception was in the hotel where everyone was staying…. Pulling a chandelier from the ceiling because his drunk 62 year old uncle wanted to prove he could jump that high. FI’s mother wore such a low cut dress to one wedding that she flashed her whole table then boasted that old men hit on her.
Bees…. I’m doomed. My Fiance is a perfectly normal and lovely guy, I swear. He’s the black sheep of the family because he doesn’t drink Coors Light. His family is just… boisterous. Holy tacos I’m so doomed.
My first wedding was a small, secular ceremony in a friend’s beautiful backyard. My Mother-In-Law had thrown a tantrum and threatened to commit suicide if we also didn’t also have a Christian ceremony — so we agreed to have a religious ceremony at her church a month after our secular ceremony. She also attended our secular ceremony and proceeded to make a speech at the reception about how everyone was invited to “ex’s real wedding” in a month. Didn’t even mention my name.
Also at that ceremony, my dad made a speech about how I used to be fat (at that point, the “fattest” I had ever been was 135 pounds at 5’5″) and my best friend gave a toast describing how I would walk around our college campus in an oblivious haze. Thanks, guys!
mimivac : Ugggh my dad did a similiar speech. Made sure to mention every obstinant thing I did as a child. He thought he was just hilarious as he described me wishing my brother was dead and my infamous fist fight with him (I was 4 when I made the death wish…and I was 6 when I punched my brother…hardly a track record in my oppinion). Not one mention of the achievements I’ve made, or even of the good memories we had together. To top it off, he just looked at my husband and wished him good luck to end his speech (more of the good riddance vs we love ya and wish you the best kind).
I was always a daddy’s girl, so this speech was sooo not expected.
Not a wedding I attended, but one of my bridesmaids went to a friends wedding last year. The couple decided to do the set up of tables and catering on their own to save money, no issue there, But when the reception ended and the bride and groom went off to their hotel, the brides parents turned to the GUESTS and told them to clean up the reception hall. My friend was a guest at this wedding, not in the bridal party, and spent the evening cleaning up her OWN DISHES. She sat down because her feet hurt and got a dirty look from someone.
It is one thing to employ the bridal party to work and help out, but another thing to ask each guest to clean their own dishes! I know they were trying to save money, but from what I have heard, this couple has money and so do their parents. If I were there, I would have walked off and not helped.
When I was in middle school, I went to the wedding of a woman who babysat me growing up. She was maybe 20 or 21. It was a church wedding, their families were there, and seemingly supportive. Their exit song was “She’s in Love with the Boy” by Trisha Yearwood. I can remember even as a 12 year old thinking what an odd choice that was for a song. If you aren’t familiar, here are some of the lyrics:
Her daddy says he ain’t worth a lick/When it comes to brains, he’s got the short end of the stick/But Katie’s young and mann, she just don’t care/She’d follow Tommy anywhere . . . And even if they have to run away/She’s gonna marry that boy someday.