(Closed) What's the best plan? Only child or Irish Twins? opinions!

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Which seems like a better plan?
    Only child : (22 votes)
    19 %
    Irish Twins (siblings that are a year (give or take) apart in age) : (96 votes)
    81 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1134 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    from an only child standpoint, i hated it!! it gets very lonely. i would recamend at least 2.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6830 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    For me personally I would rather have children close in age than just one child.  My Darling Husband is irish twins with his 2nd oldest brother and to this day they are still best buds.  My brother is 4 yrs younger than me and granted we are not close anymore but I am so glad I had him in my life. 

    I hope for us we have another child, I would hate to have my son to be an only child…

    Post # 5
    Member
    1652 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would say it is very hard to make that decision before you have your first baby. Everyone reacts differently to pregnancy, takes different times to get pregnant, and experiences motherhood differently.

    I would have your first, and then decide about the second.

    Post # 6
    Member
    259 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

     I am 11 months younger than my older brother and then I have two much younger siblings (about 6 and 8 years younger). I am glad I was really close in age to my brother. Yes, we foght a lot when we were younger, but we always played and grew up together. I would prefer two children closer in age.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would say to have two kids just because I think it’s more fun as a child and also it’s really nice to have a sibling to be there for each other when you get older as adults. But having two babies close together is also pretty difficult, and you have to be careful about being physically ready for the 2nd one, since the nutrients in your body take quite a long time to replenish after having a baby. Also in 7 years you probably will have a completely different perspective and plan. Just my two cents! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2226 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I agree, this is a decision you can only make once you get there. I would be cautious about irish twins though; it’s really not the way humans are supposed to reproduce. It’s tough on your body & will probably affect breastfeeding.

    Post # 9
    Member
    855 posts
    Busy bee

    The majority of people I know (myself included) have siblings with a near-18 month age gap and it seems to have worked out perfectly for everyone!

    Post # 10
    Member
    97 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I have an almost 2 yo and then shortly after i ended up having twins. They will be 8 months old. It is hard so close in age just make sure you think about that. Even with help everyone gets tired and crabby. My older kids were spaced out a bit so they are a big help. But i was blessed with twins for my last pregnancy and it was a shocker. I now have 5 children.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2167 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @calypso522:  My siblings and I are Irish triplets I suppose (sister is one year older and brother is one year younger). We were all besties growing up and are still very close now. I don’t think my parents would change having all their kids so close together and getting it done quickly, even though my Dad still sometimes jokes about having three kids all under age 3 for awhile!

    Post # 13
    Member
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I would personally not put my body through the stress of two pregnancies so close together. Close spacing of pregnancies increases risks of complications that affect both mother and baby (premature birth, low birthweight, small for gestational age, among others) and can affect breastfeeding as a PP said, if you are hoping to breastfeed. Research has suggested that the minimum optimal time between the end of the first pregnancy and the beginning of the second is 11 months, but ideally waiting longer than 18-24 months is considered best in terms of risks of complications.

     

    Two pregnancies in a very short time does a lot of wear and tear on your body, even if you are very healthy and active. I would personally go through a first pregnancy and decide how I feel physically and emotionally about doing it again so soon. I’m not criticizing anyone who chooses to have their babies close together because in some situations it is more convenient etc, but it’s not something I personally would risk.

    ETA – your reply to the other poster about breastfeeding didn’t show up til after I posted, so you can disregard that part of my post 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I’m 32 and pregnant with my first. Darling Husband and I have always wanted to 2 kids but also don’t want to go too far beyond 35. So we plan to try to have #2 as soon as possible but I also know that you can’t control how quickly you can get pregnant. Since you seem ok with the idea of having only one, I would plan for that now and decide on #2 after. 

     

    FWIW, my brother and I are 6 years apart and it was hard on us growing up. When I was a teen, he was the annoying little brat that was always telling on me or keeping me from going out because I had to babysit. When he got older, I was the annoying adult figure that always wanted to tag along with his too cool for school friends. We weren’t really able to relate to each other until he hit college. But knowing our personalities, and seeing how we get along now, I think we would have been really close and good friends if we had been closer in age. 

     

    Also, Darling Husband is an only child and has never felt that he missed out on anything. Sure a sibling would have been nice, especially when he feels like his parents (just his mom, really) are showing him a little *too* much attention but overall, he had a really happy, healthy childhood. 

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    2167 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @calypso522:  That’s very true and it may even be easier for learning to walk and potty training, etc., to have them closer together in age. My parents have told us about how when my sister had just started walking and I became jealous and basically wanted to do everything she was doing. So when she would crawl over her crib railing and walk outta the room they would wait to hear the THUMP, because I would tumble out of mine and crawl along following her. Hahaha.

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