Post # 1
I’m wondering your opinions on this. I see a lot of cute posts/articles/etsy things etc about adorable ways that people “propose” to their maids, with cards or a gift box, etc. I love this idea, and I think it’s really cute and fun!
However, I also feel like I should talk to my friends about being a bridesmaid individually and in person. I want to let my friends know that I’m asking because they are very dear to me and I would love to have them stand up with me, but that I understand if they aren’t able to commit to being my bridesmaid and that my feelings wont be hurt if they can’t do it.
I think we all know that being someone’s bridesmaid is usually a serious commitment, in terms of time, money, and energy. Most of my closest friends are like me– young and just starting a career, and it’s not always easy to find money and vacation time to spare! I would try to make things pretty low key and convenient for everyone, but I’m not able to offer to every girl to pay her way, and even if I did it’s still a time commitment.
I guess I don’t want to just spring it on them, although I guess if they don’t feel like they can do it they can just say no…and I’d like to ask them in a cute way, but maybe after having a conversation to feel things out?
What do you guys think?
Post # 3
@PromiseRooster: I voted for talking, though I definitely think you could also “propose” with a gift, just in person. That could lead to a conversation where you say something like I wanted to ask you to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man, there’s no pressure and please take your time in answering, or something like that. 🙂
Post # 4
@MrsRevolutionize: That’s a good idea! I was thinking almost the other way around, like talking to feel out what they thought of it and then sending a gift/surprise to “officially” ask them.
Post # 5
@PromiseRooster: That’s definitely not a bad idea! I didn’t do it personally, but one of my BMs is acting as Maid/Matron of Honor in her cousin’s wedding, and what her cousin did was show up at her place with a bottle of wine that said “I got my guy… now I need my girls! Will you be my MOH?” and then they sat around having a drink while they talked about it. It sounded wonderful to me!
Post # 6
I’m making bridesmaid boxes, I’m still waiting for the rest of the stuff to come in. I got eat of them a studded rhinestone shirt [not wedding related], eye makeup, lip gloss, a coin purse, mini photo frame & nail polish.
I’m also going to include their wedding wristlet, earrings & bracelet, along with a note about the wedding information, general timeline for dress shopping and expectations.
Post # 7
@jenilynevette: Out of curiosity have they already agreed to being BMs? Like, if one said no, what would you do with the box?
Haha sorry I’m guessing most people are more confident they’ll say yes! But this is the sort of thing I wonder about.
Post # 8
@PromiseRooster: I know 100% both will say yes, as they’ve already expressed interest in it.
But, if for some reason they said no, they could keep the box. It’s just a cute gift, there isn’t any obligation with it.
Post # 9
My girls loved these, my cousin cried! I always promote them when I can, I loved them so much!
Post # 10
I was super nervous to ask my bridesmaids (honestly, for no good reason). I didn’t know for sure they’d say yes, but I also had no reason to think they’d say no. My one friend has been a bridesmaid tons and I felt kind of bad about asking her.
But then I thought of it the other way around–would she not want to do it? Would she be relieved to not be asked? Or would she feel a little left out that she wasn’t?
I gave her the same thing I gave the other two girls, and she opened it, and I asked her and she was excited.
I think I totally overthought it because (even though I would be pleased and flattered) I was worried she wouldn’t want to and would rather not be bothered.
Post # 11
I sent my girls flowers with an “ask” attached. They loved it! I may have done it differently if I lived near them though. I live abroad so I don’t get to see my best girls as often as I would like.
Post # 12
I took each of my ladies out to dinner (only two of them) and asked them separately and then we celebrated.
Post # 13
I just asked mine – I was super nervous that they would have other committments that day! once I get my color scheme figured out, I’m sending them care boxes with color swatches (they are getting their own dresses), cookies, wine bottle stopper (our wedding is at a winery), and more details about the wedding.
Post # 14
I just asked them, over Skype because I don’t live near them anymore. Not everything needs to be worthy of a Pinterest post.
Post # 15
If someone made a big production out of asking me and spent money and time “proposing” to me in that way, I would feel a lot of pressure to accept, even if that really wasn’t the best decision. I would rather have a private, frank, straightforward, practical conversation about expectations, costs, time, etc. (I think that doing this via conversation is much nicer than being presented with a list of potential demands) and then if I agreed to accept, perhaps a lovely box along the lines that many Bees have generously described might be in order.
Post # 16
I just called each of mine and asked. I was so nervous but they were each supportive and excited to be a part of the wedding