(Closed) Please help, lost again… Can I tell him I found a ring before he proposes?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Can I tell him I found a ring before he proposes?
    Yes, tell him. : (26 votes)
    45 %
    Get someone else to tell him? : (8 votes)
    14 %
    Don't, it's pushy. : (12 votes)
    21 %
    Don't, other reason. : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Sidenote: Polls are like catnip to bees! : (9 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 4
    4350 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @lionskitty:  Have you found an exact ring that you want? Or do you just have ideas about it? I dropped some not-so-subtle hints about what I wanted. I basically said I loved asschers and solitaires and once mentioned I loved knife edged rings.

    You could drop a hint saying you prefer white topaz. Or say that you really like white gold ect. The ring you want made, with the exception of the white topaz seems like something that a lot of jewelers would have in their stores. But I would be surprised if he figured out you prefer white topaz on his own.

    I dropped hints because we had discussed marraige a LOT and I was anxious about making sure he got me what I wanted, because asschers are not common. And I know (he told me after) that he had never heard of them before I mentioned it.

    Also I voted wrong in your poll because I thought you found it in his closet or something, not that you had found it in a store.


    Post # 6
    4350 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @lionskitty:  I would just casually mention that you like white topaz and that you don’t want anything larger than a half carat. (I think I read on another thread that you wanted one that was .4?) I’m not sure everyone would advise you to mention your preferences, and it depends on your guy how receptive he will be to it. Personally, I’m glad I said what I wanted because I ended up with something I love in the end. Also if you just hint/tell him you like certain things, he will still feel like he got to pick it out himself. Or you can tell him you like that jeweler and hope the jeweler remembers what you like and steers him in that direction. A lot of girls on here also go ring shopping with their guys, which I personally didn’t do because I wanted to give my Fiance the chance to deal with the exact specs (he wanted a larger stone and got to choose how much it was without me knowing which I’m glad about) without me standing over his shoulder.

    Post # 7
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

     tell him! It never hurts to voice your opinion, especially on something you intend on wearing the rest of your life. Best wishes!  As another bee mentioned in a previous post (her Grandma told her this), “You only get one shot at this so be specific, practical, and get what you want. You don’t want to be stuck with a ring you still barely like 50 years later”.  Gosh that bee has a smart Gammy. I wouldn’t tell him where to get it though, but I would mention that you’ve looked into it at {where you found the deal}

    Post # 8
    28 posts

    I don’t think there’s one right answer. It depends on the kind of guy he is and the kind of relationship you guys have. Is he receptive to hints? Would he appreciate it? Would he even get it if your hints were subtle? Or does he need something more in his face? Do you guys usually tell each other what you want for gifts?

    Your Fiance sounds a lot like mine. Not really great at choosing gifts, and doesn’t want to disapoint. Fiance is also not good with hints even if they’re not subtle. He needs a concrete “this is what I want” and appreciates it when I tell him so he doesn’t have to waste brain cells shopping for something. I basically found pictures of what I liked online, showed it to him, and said “I’d like to direct your attention to these pictures for your viewing. You know, for future reference.” After that, it was all up to him. He went and got the ring himself and planned the proposal. I still wanted the where and when of the proposal to be a surprise. (Of course, he totally gave away the suprise but that’s for another thread.) 

    You could show him pictures of what you want, or even give him the jeweler’s website or phone number. Perhaps you could set it up with the jeweler that if your guy gets in touch with him, the jeweler will steer him towards what you want. I would say something like “Hey honey, just wanted to show you something. For whenever you’re ready.”

    Post # 9
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t know if your guy would be open to this, but I’m pretty picky about my jewelry, so I told my Boyfriend or Best Friend that he should feel free to propose without a ring, and then we could go get one together.  He really liked the idea, and I’m looking forward to (hopefully) getting one custom made and designing it with him.

    Post # 11
    599 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would talk about it with him, in a non pushy way. Like if you have already spoken about marriage before I guess there’s no harm in mentioning you kind of style of ring you like. I asked my Fiance to guess what kind of ring he would guess that I would like, it was all a bit of fun and he came back with the exact ring I had always wanted – turns out when we went shopping and to try on, I fell in love with something completely different! Communication is the key in any relationship, I’m very open and honest and that’s just who I am and my Fiance loves me for that (although I’m sure it annoys him at times!!). If you guys are seriously talking about marriage, go have a little look at rings so he can get ideas & prices and that way you have a goal to work towards.

    Post # 12
    764 posts
    Busy bee

    I vote no. Sometimes you have to letas partner do their thing!!

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