Post # 1
I ask this because I know a good number of us on the waiting boards have had our crazy meltdown moments. I’m curious as to whether any of those crazy moments actually got the man to propose any sooner–or if it did the opposite. I’m trying my best to keep my sanity intact but sometimes I find myself coming up with all sorts of elaborate plans to make him see that I’m not sticking around forever. I am trying desperately to control myself until June!!!
Post # 3
@Shirinjoon: What happens in June?
Post # 4
I told him that the longer he waits to propose, the more money I’m going to spend on our wedding… not sure if it helped but he did order the ring on Saturday!
Post # 5
@Shirinjoon: Either way you mentioned can go very wrong, in my case if I bring it up it will push it further away, and I only have myself to blame and if he is the type of guy to just do it because you keep bugging him, do you really want to live the rest of your life knowing the only reason he proposed was because you pressured him into it? I wouldnt… try and just have a nice calm conversation with him but if he mentions that he will do it soon and you compromise to make you both happy, then let it be, he probably just wants to do it on his own terms and surprise you.
Post # 6
@pinkclover that is an amazing idea!! I might try that one 🙂
Post # 7
@claireos: Well, in December he gave me a timeline of 6 months for a proposal. That would mean he would have to do something by June–or I’m at my wits end!
Post # 8
@pinkclover: I gotta remember that one. Use it as my ace in the hole, as it were.
Post # 9
I went to Gen Con. It’s this huge gaming (as in nerd gaming, lol), convention in Indianapolis, and he had been joking around about proposing there. I’m notoriously bad about knowing when he’s kidding, so I seriously dressed up to go to a nerd convention :). I mean, I had on a Star Trek t-shirt, I wasn’t in a dress or anything, but I did my hair nicely and put make up on and actually wore mascara, which is huge for me, lol.
I kind of had a meltdown in the car on our way home and he felt really bad and proposed the next day. I kind of feel like I emotionally blackmailed him, but he already had the ring so it’s not like he wasn’t going to anyway!
Post # 10
I don’t know if it sped up or slowed down the process, but I proposed.
Back story: For several weeks he’d been jokingly saying that I should propose. We’d start talking about weddings, or honeymoons, or something and he’d say, “Just as soon as you buy me a ring,” or “Just as soon as you propose.” I’d made it almost clear that the joke had ceased to be funny, but he continued making it. So one day I went to Target a bought a $10 ring. I carried that ring in my pocket for a week waiting for him to make the joke again. He went from what felt like making jokes daily to nothing. Then finally one night a commercial for Aruba came on and he said something about how fun it would be to go. I agreed and then he said it…”We can go just as soon as you buy me a ring.” So with a big fat smile I pulled the ring out, placed it on the coffee table and simply said, “Done.” We had a good laugh, but he didn’t propose for a few more months. In fact it was at least 3 before he went ring shopping, but at least I got that joke to stop.
Post # 11
SO alwasy said that we would have to live together before getting engaged. When we first moved in together I deluded myself into thinking that if I acted the part of the perfect wife – cleaning and cooking like Mrs. Stevens from Bewitched – that he would see the benefits and want to get married. After 6 months we had a talk about marriage again and when I realized that the last 6 months of very hard work did NOTHING to sway his mind, I gave up and reverted to my old, more carefree person. Am I a complete slob? No, but I quit doing laundry every day and scrubbing toilets once a week.
Post # 12
@jo.lee: I did something similar.
We had agreed he would propose by August.
Well, the last weekend in August rolls around and no proposal. So Sunday night I broke down. I was a crying, sniffling mess.
Turns out the ring was sitting in is closet! He told me I just had to trust him and give him a little more time.
He proposed (as he had been planning to) the next weekend (Labor day, the 1st weekend in September). I felt so bad about the whole breakdown.
Post # 13
This sort of counts, but here is my long story:
This past New Years we had a quiet night in, just the two of us. I had brought up engagement a couple of times (saying that one of my resolutions was to get him to propose close to the date we move in together, April 2011) and then SECONDS before midnight he said he hadn’t planned on proposing until 2012. (it was literally seconds, the countdown was going!)
I let it slide for a minute and then he noticed that I wasn’t so happy looking. He asked what was wrong and I broke down crying. We had a long conversation. His plan was only to give him time to save money, it had nothing to do with not being ready to marry me. I told him he could get a cheaper ring, or even a white sapphire if it would help. We went to bed without a decision.
The next morning we were watching a show and one of the couples was trying to make a big life decision. The guy said “if it’s important to you, it’s important to me”. After the show my boyfriend looked very much in thought. Then he said, “I like that line. If getting engaged in 2011 is important to you, then it’s important to me. I’ll make it work.”
Now I’m just excited for that day to come! I know it won’t be for at least a few more months, probably this fall or something, but it’s better than waiting until 2012!
Post # 14
@smiley3: I am hoping for an engagement in March or April atleast, and probably nearing May I might have my breakdown like you and watch it be the same situation as you where he was so close to doing it. Did you notive any changes in his attitude or anyhting maybe some signs that he was going to do it?
Post # 15
@smiley3 Sorry that message was for KatNYC2011
@KatNYC2011:I am hoping for an engagement in March or April atleast, and probably nearing May I might have my breakdown like you and watch it be the same situation as you where he was so close to doing it. Did you notive any changes in his attitude or anyhting maybe some signs that he was going to do it?
Post # 16
This isn’t really something I did on purpose, but it definitely let him know I had marriage on the brain…. I had a dream that FH told me I could have “anything from the top row” at a jewelry store – which were all engagement rings. When I started looking, I realized he meant a shelf on top of the case – full of 80’s earrings! I woke up incredibly upset. I have no idea why, and I sort of freaked out at FH.
Then I went to CA for two weeks with my family and he decided that was too much time apart. He asked my dad for permission the week I got home.