Post # 46
- Wedding: October 2016 - Wedgewood Las Vegas
From my own mother: “If you had been the first baby, you’d have been the last”
I was born lactose intolerant, and was continously sick for the first month or so until the doctors figured it out. I guess she considers that my fault, as if I did it on purpose.
She meant it when she told me this when I was a teen, and she still means it today. She laughed as she said it to me.She thinks it’s funny, even after my dad said it was cruel. She thinks its funny today.
Yet, she can’t figure out why I hardly call outside of holidays…..
Post # 47
My mom too gave me the “I love you but I don’t like you” thing. It helps to know it is so commonplace! Moms better get some new material!
This other thing she said, you have to know that my mom was incredibly, overwhelmingly terrified of her daughter (me) getting pregnant without being married. She never passed up a chance to tell me what a disastrous mistake it would be for me to get pregnant.
Once I asked her, “if I had a baby, wouldn’t you love it, because it was your grandchild?” Her answer was “it would depend on who the father was”. I was stunned, because she felt the father was more important in whether she would love her grandchild, than me being its mother. I really was rocked by that one.
Post # 48
Ya know sometimes I find myself worrying, because I don’t want to just be an average mom, or a good mom, I want to be the best mom. And I always thought that was some huge mountain to climb because surely every mother feels that way, we all want our kids to feel such intense love from us that they never doubt for a second we’d be smiling while dying for them you know? And reading this I’m thinking I’m totally wrong, there are some really shit moms out there.
Big hugs to all the ladies with crap parents who said horrid things to them, I admire the hell out of your strength and resilience.
Post # 49
I want to hug you. As someone living in Australia that makes me want to cry.
Post # 50
This thread is so depressing!!!! My mom and I are extremely close and have both said terrible things to each other. (I’m horrified about some of the crap I’ve said to her!)
Despite these mean words, we adore each other. No one has been as supportive of me as my mom and she knows that she can count on me, too.
I hope all of you PPs take a moment to breathe and remember the nicest or kindest thing someone has done for you.
I’ll start: my grandma died when I was 10. I came back to school the day after her funeral. I was so upset I went into the bathroom to cry by myself.
The scariest girl in our school (a fifth grader who smoked) heard me crying in the stall. She knocked on the door and told me to come out. I was terrified because I thought she was going to make fun of me (or even beat me up). Instead, she gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so warmed, touched and surprised by her kindness. It still makes me smile.
Post # 51
Probably the worst anyone has said to me was my mother – I broke up with my fiance that I had dated for 6 years. My mother was horrified – According to her my fiance had a great future ahead of him, and if I stayed with him, she “wouldn’t have to worry about looking after me anymore.” (she was a widow). When I told her that he was abusive – that he knocked me out, and threw full cans at me after grocery shopping – she wasn’t at all shocked. She just said “Oh well, I’m sure you did something to make him mad. You can be so annoying”
Surprisingly I didn’t talk to her for about 2 years after that, and she refused to come to my wedding,
Post # 52
hugs darling. I was so shocked to read your story. That terrible person will be repaid on judgement day. You are such a brave person. I always enjoy reading your comments on here. <3
Post # 53
Wait, what? You’re being cyber bullied on weddingbee?
Post # 54
cyber bullied on here? how so? If I make a post I’ll usually get one or two mean responses but sometimes I think I just write too..bluntly I guess? I was called a complete psycho on here once lol…I was like ok then.
Post # 55
This was before cell phones: At 14 I got lost on the beach after my junior life guard summer camp. I’m walking down the street barefoot with just my one piece bathing suit and a long “jr. guard” shirt on. I was really lost at this point, having walked alone to find my mom for about 45 minutes. At this time I’m crying really hard, holding myself across the stomach as I walk. This grown man pulls his car over, rolls down the window and yells “next time use a condom, SLUT!”
I was flabbergasted.
Post # 56
Mom told me two a few gems
“you aren’t showing any remorse, something is wrong with you” so I always thought that I was abnormal and that deep down something was wrong with me
“I hope you have a daughter just like you” in a mean way- like I was such a terrible child that she wished it on me
Post # 57
“I wish none of you were ever born.” My mother during one of her common meltdowns when I was 16.
“You’re nothing but a stupid white trash whore.” The worst ex boyfriend.
Shockingly, I still struggle in my relationship with my mom. I always tell myself she did the best she could with the tools available to her. And I killed the ex and buried him in the desert 😉
Post # 58
My mom has a lot of gems but I also got the whole I love you because I have to but I don’t like you thing and coutless horrible, horrible comments about my weight – such as “are you just seeing how huge you can blow up?” And these comments were never said they were screamed in my face. She’s been much, much better in the past couple of years but those are things that can’t be taken back or forgotten and I don’t see how they ever won’t have an impact on our relationship.
One of my biggest worries about having kids is that I’ll be like my mom and I would just be absolutely devestated if I had children and did the exact same thing to them that my mom did to me because I know just how damaging words can be, especially when they come from your mother.
Post # 59
I have two stick out for me and there have been quite a few. However, these are probably the worst.
1. I was either a senior in high school, or a college freshman watching my alumni high school play and someone called my phone, left me a voicemail, and said how fat I was and I should try running on a treadmill.
2. I was walking into a concert with my very slender/tall friend, and some strangers pulled up to us, put their window down, and screamed out the window ‘it’s true! Fat chicks always hang out with skinny girls’
I have battled with my weight my entire life. However, at the time of both instances I might have been slightly over weight, but because of those amongst others, I gained about 70 additional pounds. I’m still insecure to this day and that time frame was about 11 – 12 years ago. However, surrounding yourself by good people does wonders. I lost all the weight plus some and would love to run into whoever the people were today.
Post # 60
My 4th grade teacher told me that I was pretty but not that smart and will likely marry a nice man.
I’m a lawyer now…and getting married to a nice man.
If I EVER see that lady again…