What's the cruelest thing that's ever been said to you?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 121
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee

“you shouldn’t go to school. What do you hope to get out of it? You’re too stupid to do anythung with it, you know that. “

“You look disgusting. You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends because you look so fucking sick.”

“Nobody will save you, and anyone you ever date will cheat on you. You have to know that. Everyone will always cheat on you.”

“Stupid fucking bitch.”

Ex boyfriend as he forbade me to pursue higher education, battled with an eating disorder, and generally abused me. 

“It’s not like he is going to date you or even likes you anyway.” My mother, talking about me hanging out with a boy I liked. She said this several more times.

“She’s fun to hang around but she isn’t the kind of girl that anyone would ever want to actually date.” My best friend at one time, referring to me. She wasn’t wrong.

Post # 122
Member
987 posts
Busy bee

gosh I have a few…most are under the category of something racist so I wont type them bcus they havent truly stayed with me to the degree of this one below that was said sometime in my late teens by my father who was drunk at the time. 

“the only thing you will ever be good for is lying on your back”

Post # 123
Hostess
3862 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I remembered one that has always stuck with me, but has a happy ending… 

When Dear Daughter was a baby I worked at a grocery store as a cashier.  I was ringing a girl about my age (late teens, early 20’s) up who was SUPER pregnant, like ready to pop,  and she had her items seperated into 2 groups.  Her regular items and the items on her WIC coupon.  The lady behind her started loudly complaining about how she had too many things for the express lane and I spoke up and said she was fine, and that things were divided between her WIC coupon and regular.  To which the lady replied to the girl “Oh, you’re one of those poor people who I have to buy your groceries for you.” Totally shocked I said “Excuse me?  I’m on WIC too and it’s not that we’re poor, it’s just to help us get a good start” and the pregnant girl was quiet this whole time.  The lady got super upset and said ” I know girls like you, you’re both poor whores!” and she started screaming “Poor whores!!!” at the top of her lungs right there in the checkout line. The pregnant girl set the rest of her stuff on the belt, and proceeded to knock the crazy lady the F out!  Just layed her out right there in my line!  It was amazing!  The manager came over and scooped the crazy lady up and had some of the other guys get her out of the store and I proceeded to ring up the pregnant girl like nothing had happened.  

 

Post # 124
Member
552 posts
Busy bee

After reading these I am pretty happy that nothing came straight to mind, and then after thinking about it, anything I thought of doesn’t bother me anymore.

I think the worst wasn’t exactly what someone said, but did, in middle school.

I was never overly pretty and definitely not popular, but I would say I had a close-knit group of friends. In middle school, one of the more popular boys started expressing interest in me. (And by expressing interest in me, I mean, he asked to play on my team during a foozeball match at a boy/girl party.) Anyway, one of the more popular girls went to one of my best girlfriend and pretty much told her that she would make her popular if my friend was able to sabatoge this guy’s crush on me and make my life miserable.

Next thing I know, none of my friends are talking to me, I’m getting messages online to kill myself (including one from the boy who had the crush on me) and rumors started going around that I was anorexic because I was skinny and wore baggy clothes. (No… I just liked tshirts and wasn’t exactly fashion-forward. I was extremely skinny growing up though but not by my choice.)

This went on for the rest of middle school. I contemplated suicide numerous times because of the bullying.

Years later, ONE of the girls who did all of this apologized. I’ve never heard from any of the others ever again.

I feel better though because I’ve run into a few of these girls at a distance (and even the guy!) since and they all appear to be struggling personally, professionally, and otherwise. While I’ve never wished the worst for them, I’m relatively successful and overall very happy unlike many of them appear to be. I think karma is why none of it really bothers me anymore.

Post # 125
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had an awful childhood, up until my first year of college actually. My dad is a narsassit and was an alcoholic, and since I was an only child, I got the brunt of it all. It caused me to have horrible anxiety and even diagnosed as PTSD since it was also physical abuse.
Kids in school were just as bad. I had to change school multiple times because girls were threatening my life and were literally switching to the schools I was at to do so. So my mom finally brought me to a school 30 minutes away near her work.
As crappy as it all was, it made me a stronger person. Everything my dad said about me, I wanted to prove wrong. All the popular kids that were mean to me have stayed in the high school mind-set, even though we are mid-twenties now. At the time, all the bad things really stuck with me, but looking back now, I couldn’t care less. I have an amazing husband, great job, and kicking butt in my graduate program without the help of any of them. I wish I could talk to kids who are growing up in the enviornment I did and let them know that things can be okay.

Post # 126
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

RobbieAndJuliahaha :  I wasn’t randomly calling people “mentally ill and fat”, what I did was to reference a support group where people struggle with real problem of obesity and mental illness and they talk about themselves and those specific problems there amongst other things, including their journeys with different medications and side effects. I think they probably help each other. So the only irony is that people with those problems probably know what it’s like to be bullied and still have made it their mission to go out of their way to bully others in turn. But I know it’s typical of bullies to take out on others how they feel inside so I see their comments as pure reflections of themselves. It’s sad in the same way some young people join gangs just to have a sense of belonging when there are no other options in their environment, even while knowing it’s a negative spiral. This support group is good because they have each other, but some aspects of it seems to promote negative thinking. 

Here is an interesting article about negative thinking and getting yourself used to an attitude of complaining and surrounding oneself with likeminded negativity: it actually promotes obesity! How ironic is that?!

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/281734

Post # 127
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’ve gotten over/moved on from all the crazy shit my Mom said to me when I was pregnant at 24. “You are ruining the reputation of the family.” Um, mind you one of my siblings was in prison just a few years before. yell

 

Recently a neighbor said “I hope you lose all your hair from having cancer.” I did lose some hair but I almost left this nasssssty ass hairball I had to pull out of his drain on his car.

Post # 128
Member
913 posts
Busy bee

annelise210516 :  Out of curiosity, what is the name of the support community you are referring to? Is it part of a larger support group site like inspire.com or similar? If so, I’m surprised that their moderation policies would allow what you are describing. That sounds distressing. Have you tried reporting it to the site?

Post # 129
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

When I was in 4th grade my teacher dumped my desk in front of the whole class and said “maybe if your desk wasn’t such a freakin mess maybe you’d find your homework.” Later that day she found my homework on her messy desk. My mom had a few choice words with her when she found out.

In 8th grade my teacher constantly told me how horrible my writing was, and would yell and me for holding my pencil wrong. (I hold pens/pencils between my ring and middle fingers) Later that he he got punched in the face. Didn’t feel bad for him at all.

9th grade in my dance class I was the only white girl and constantly got picked on for that. but the one thing that sticks out was our teacher told us to all hold hands to form a better circle and the one girl beside me gave me a disgusted look and said “I’m not touching that nasty girl”. Nothing was ever done about that, but I’m pretty sure she got kicked out of the magnet program cause she wasn’t in my school the next year.

The last thing that comes to mind was summer time when I was 15. I was in the store with my niece who was a baby at the time. And some random lady walked up to me and said “Aren’t you too young to have a kid?”. Which in its self doesn’t sound bad but her tone and facial expressions said otherwise. I told her that the baby was my niece and then she suddenly got all friendly and was telling me how adorable my niece was. 😒🙄

Post # 130
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee

Nevermind. Sorry! 😅

Post # 131
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee

Posted twice. Whoops.

Post # 132
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee

wow! I don’t have anything that really compares to some of these comments from the other posters, ….. but of course I’ve been hurt before. I’m sure we all have.

when I was about 20, I was living in the college dorms and a nurse came to talk to us about doing self breast exams, so I did one for the first time. Lo and behold, I find a lump. Of course I freak out and am scared and I think I have breast cancer! Because I had never done an exam before, I didn’t know how long it had been there so I was sure that the cancer had already spread throughout my body. I was so upset and overwhelmed.

So, I had just started dating a guy about 6 weeks prior, and I call him all upset and tell him about the lump. He asks if I want him to come over so I say yes. So, he gets to my dorm and I’m still quite upset. In trying to calm me down, he says, ‘ look, even if it is cancer, if you have to get your tit hacked off it’s not like anyone could even tell.’ ( I was a small breasted girl then, and wore an A cup bra). Of course that didn’t reassure me in any way!

After this comment, I kind of made excuses for him because clearly I was freaking out and maybe he just didn’t know WHAT to say to me. I told this story to a friend and she looked at me all calmly and said, ‘ why didn’t you say…. well, if you find a lump in your ball sack and it gets hacked off, I hope you won’t be upset by that either, because no one would be able to tell’.

I thought that really put things in perspective 🙂 Also…. it wasn’t cancer.

Post # 133
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

orangeblossomspecial :  I don’t think it’s right to out them so I won’t. As for reporting, I feel kind of “nah psssshh what the heck, if I can be a topic that helps them bond, I don’t mind throwing them a tidbit every so often for them to vulture over”, whether it’s strange to me, they clearly love it! 😉 I guess that means I actually help them have joy in some way! I think of them as the peanut gallery hecklers 😁

Post # 134
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

annelise210516 :  I’m not sure how this site can be bullying you when no one is speaking to you directly?  It sounds like you seek it out to find things about yourself … which is not bullying.

Post # 135
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Kaymar :  I think you misunderstood, I was referring to a time period when saying “since joining the bee” is when this started, and because they keep sending me private messages here on the bee to tell me about all the stuff they’re saying (I guess it’s no fun for them if the bullied person is unaware? 🤔) That’s how I know about it. But nowadays I have the message notifications switched off here on the bee for that reason. 

Was that a little bit clearer for you? 

 

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